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"The Huang Yanqiu Incident" A rural villager would on three separate occasions go missing after going to bed only to wake up in a major city thousands of miles away and arrived in the city faster than he should've been possible given the distance.
2023.04.01 12:35 moondog151 "The Huang Yanqiu Incident" A rural villager would on three separate occasions go missing after going to bed only to wake up in a major city thousands of miles away and arrived in the city faster than he should've been possible given the distance.
| Huang Yanqiu was born in 1956 in Dongbeigao Village in China's Hebei province. Little is known about his early life aside from the fact that he worked as a farmer in the village and his mother passed away while he was a child. Huang Yanqiu On July 27, 1977, Huang was 21 years old and still working as a farmer. Huang was recently engaged and planned on marrying his fiancee after the harvest season and the couple recently began building themselves a new home. At 10:00 PM Huang had just finished his farm work for the day and went to bed in his unfinished home. That was the last anyone had seen of Huang for a while as the next morning when the village woke up on July 28 Huang was nowhere to be found. The village was greatly alarmed by Huang's disappearance and initiated a massive search effort to try and find him but there was no trace of Huang anywhere to be found. This worried and confused the villagers especially Huang's family as Huang never travelled far and only had a primary school level education. They searched the surrounding roads, ponds, cliffs and other unknown locations to try and find him and even contacted the nearest hospitals and police to ask if any unidentified bodies had been discovered but to no avail. Fortunately, Huang would be found alive and unharmed but this only resulted in more questions. 10 days later on August 6 the village committee received a telegram from Shanghai. The telegram said that Huang was being held at a deportation center and that they were hoping for a local to come and pick him up. The telegram was late to arrive because it was accidentally addressed to the wrong village. There was just one problem, the telegram from Shanghai was dated at 9:AM on July 28 less than half a day after his disappearance. Huang was later returned by the police in Shanghai and it was indeed Huang. There was just one problem, Huang being in Shanghai that soon should've been impossible. Huang was questioned by his fellow villagers and he could not provide an answer. According to him, he went to bed and when at 6:00 or 7:00 AM he was awoken by a loud noise, this noise wasn't that of the farm animals but instead the sounds of vehicles and numerous people. When he fully awoke he found himself on a sidewalk and that around him were cars, neon lights and tall buildings/skyscrapers. He wondered around and saw writing on the various buildings and businesses which said things such as "Nanjing Shopping Center", "Nanjing Restaurant", and "Nanjing Pharma" and that nearby was a large "swimming pool" which he later found out was Lake Xuanwu. It didn't take Huang long to realize that somehow he was in Nanjing the capital city of Jiangsu Province located 485 miles away from his home village. While Huang who was now in complete and utter shock at his circumstance walked aimlessly around the unfamiliar city until he was stopped and approached by two police officers. Huang due to his state of shock and disbelief could barely answer their questions. When they asked Huang what he was doing or who he was he simply said that he was "really lost" the two officers led Huang to the Nanjing Rail Station and gave him a ticket to Shanghai and told Huang that they would be waiting for him and once he arrived he'd be taken to a "repatriation camp" for migrants and those without a hukou document. Huang not knowing what else to do and being in no position to disobey or resist bordered the train. 4 hours later the train pulled into Shanghai station and Huang headed out for the first police station he could find and to his confusion, the exact same police officers from Nanjing were already waiting for him despite being out of their jurisdiction, not boarding the train before him and most of all the train was the fastest method available at the time to travel between the two cities and the officers did not bored the train. Arriving to Shanghai before Huang should be straight-up impossible. The two officers refused to let Huang enter the police station in Shanghai and instead dropped Huang off at the repatriation camp in Shanghai. Huang first told his story to a PLA soldier at the camp named Lü Qingtang and added the detail that the police officers in question were likely from Shandong province based on the ticket he was given. Huang stayed in the camp much longer than expected as when Huang woke up in Nanjing he didn't have any of his identity documents and when the telegrams were sent out to the village to come collect Huang they erroneously addressed them to Xinzhai Village instead of Dongbeigao Village. The confusion was only cleared up after Huang was identified via a birthmark and because the PLA soldier Huang talked to had relatives in the village. As mentioned any questions the villagers had were multiplied as opposed to answered. Huang arriving in Nanjing that soon should be impossible. At the time trains in China were too slow to make such a fast trip. The nearest rail station was in the city of Handan which Huang would've had to find his way to in the dark despite having never even been to Handan before. But even if he did make it to Handan all by himself with next to no money the train would take 1 whole day to reach Nanjing as opposed to the 9-10 hours between when Huang went to sleep and when he woke up. And this is without taking into account the waiting time for the train to arrive at Haidan station and trains were notoriously late back them sometimes even being held back by an entire day and tickets were expensive. Other methods of transportation also wouldn't work out. Planes and civilian aviation travel in China was still very new and of course expensive. The entirety of Hebei Province only had a tiny handful of airports with the closest one being in the north near Beijing located on the complete opposite side of Hebei from where Huang lived. It was deemed highly unlikely for Huang to make the trip there by himself especially as he wouldn't know the way and even if he did somehow make it to the airport there would still be the issue of paying for a ticket. A car also wouldn't work as nobody in Dongbeigao village owned a vehicle and even having a bicycle was considered immensely expensive and outside the means of the villagers. And even if he could use any of these methods it still wouldn't explain the short time as to even get from Dongbeigao village to the nearest city Handan would take 4 hours to drive from the village to the city by car. There was also the question of why Huang would assuming he wasn't lying would do this. Huang had never mentioned Nanjing or Shanghai at any point prior and the fact that leaving their ancestral village and families was frowned upon. How Huang made it to Nanjing in such a short amount of time is unknown but most villagers were prepared to accept it as a strange oddity and move on while others dismissed Huang as lying or bragging about visiting a city. That was until it happened again. On September 8, 1977, it was harvest season in the village again and Huang and his fellow villagers were made to do backbreaking work during a meeting held by the village cadres. At 10:00 PM the head of the village gave Huang and a few other villagers permission to leave and go to bed early as long as they send and deliever manure/fertilizer the next morning. They all took the cadres up on this offer and went to sleep. The next morning on September 9 the villagers arrived at the fertiliser storage area only to notice that Huang was missing. Thinking that he had overslept they all went to his house only to find it empty. Something different caught their eye however, Carved into his bedroom wall was a message and that message said "Shandong Gao Dengmin, Gao Yanjin Relax" Just like the last time Huang was in Shanghai and was quickly sent back to the village on September 11 and this time there were witnesses both in Shanghai and Dongbeigao. A majority of the village witnessed Huang go to his house and sleep before his disappearance the next morning and just like with his first disappearance Huang couldn't explain it. According to Huang, he woke up at The Shanghai Rail Station due to a cold breeze, the same one the two mysterious police officers sent him to. Huang was again startled by his surroundings as it was the middle of the night and according to the Station's clock tower, it was 2:00 AM and as far as Huang could see there were no other people and the only light came from the stars and moon. Not only had Huang unknowingly travelled a far distance in an impossibly short time but he also did it at an inopportune time because along with the darkness Huang was constantly startled by the sound of thunder, lighting and battered by heavy rain and high winds because Typhon Babe had recently made landfall near Shanghai. Huang who was now even more terrified than he was before could only think of Lü Qingtang, Lü was the PLA soldier who helped him after his first trip to Shanghai and was the one who ultimately helped him return home due to his relatives in the village. Lü was not only the only person Huang could think to help him but he was also the only person he knew at all in Shanghai. Finding Lü was not going to be easy as Huang wouldn't be able to navigate Shanghai at all let alone during a typhoon in the middle of the night with no people in sight. As Huang began to walk he heard a voice coming from behind him hearing a man say "Hello there, you must be Huang Yanqiu of Feixiang County. Trying to head to the artillery division?" this shocked him immensely and he quickly turned back to see who this person was. When he turned around he saw two men dressed in military uniforms. They told Huang that they were soldiers belonging Lü's division and were assigned to pick him up from the railway station. Huang followed the men who took various ferries and buses before arriving at the "artillery division" located in what is today the Pudong District. Despite how heavily guarded the area is the guards let Huang and the two men pass without issue. They then went to where Lü lived with his family and they were completely shocked to see them as well as Huang again. Lü however, wasn't home at the time. His wife Li Yuying was surprised that the three were even at their home because according to Li "When a relative comes to visit, they have to show their legal documents and sign in at the gate, we'll then come down and confirm their identities, then they can finally be let in. No way the guards and soldiers would let them in without any proceedings!" and years later Lü's son when questioned about the case would say that the two solider's uniforms looked off, he commented that . "...their uniforms looked quite the ordinary, yet not very fitting, especially their visors. One's shoes and visor are the most important part of the uniform,... their visors were too big, and their uniforms seem to have been borrowed, too." Before his family could question the two they simply walked away and couldn't be found again. Huang being at the base was a major security violation and officials interrogated the guards on duty who all claimed to have never seen Huang and the two soldiers at any point. Once Lü returned home another telegram was sent directly to the head of Dongbeigao Village and they wanted to know every last detail about Huang and who exactly he was with the telegram even straight up asking if Huang was a spy. They received a response from the head of the village, telling them that Huang was just a farmer with no ill intent. Without any other information, the army decided to send Huang back to the village but sternly warned him that he'd be arrested if they ever see him again. He returned home on September 11. In their official reports the military was unable to explain how Huang got to Shanghai so quickly and managed to get into the base. Due to the multitude of witnesses testifying that Huang went to sleep in the village and the military confirming that he was in Shanghai all those who felt that Huang was lying about his travels soon had their doubts erased. Huang became the most talked about resident of the village and not in a good way as he became the main subject of all the local gossip, rumours and of course superstitions. Many thought that he was possessed or haunted with that being the reason for his seemingly supernatural speed and ability to travel such short distances. The constant attention took a mental toll on Huang's fiance who sued his family for 200 yuan due to "reputational damages" and divorced him. This financially and emotionally ruined Huang and it was when he was at his lowest that the third and final incident happened. Huang continued his work as a farmer and labourer for the village and on September 20, 1977, he had finished his work for the day and began walking home. According to Huang, however, so tired that he ended up passing out in the yard in front of his house and went missing again. He would stay missing until September 28 when he was found under a Jujube tree in the village and when asked where he had been he told them about the most extraordinary story yet. According to him, after he passed out in front of his home he woke up and instead of on the sidewalk or in a deserted train station during typhoon season he instead found himself in a luxury hotel room. He looked around and behind him, he saw the same two men from the first two incidents. This time, however, they were both dressed in civilian clothing and introduced themselves. They told Huang that they were brothers from Shandong Province and identified themselves as Gao Dengmin, 26, and Gao Yanjin, 25. Huang also estimated that they were around 170 cm tall. They told Huang that they were the cause behind his disappearances and that they dressed as police and soldiers to help him find his way home, they said that they had something special planned for Huang and that during the next 9 days, they would take him to 9 major cities. Huang asked where he was right now and the brothers told him that it was still September 20 and that he was in Lanzhou located in China's Gansu Province the furthest he has ever been from home. A composite sketch of the two created by the police Soon Huang would learn how he had travelled so far so quickly because the next day on September 21 they made Huang climb onto their back and as Huang would later state "They took off" and quite literally flew away with just their bodies. Huang said that they were "flying" at a low altitude and that he didn't feel any wind, he also recounted that the brothers took turns carrying him on their back. In over an hour, the three had arrived in Beijing. They first went to the Chang'an Grand Theater without tickets and just like at the army base nobody stopped them. They watched an opera performance of Forced Onto Mt. Liang. Their next stop was Tiananmen Square and were in front of a Huabiao. The brothers who were now speaking standard Mandarin instead of their dialects introduced Huang to the surrounding areas and checked into a hotel showing the staff a "provincial-level introduction letter" for registration. That same day they then flew to Tianjin where they snuck into a movie theatre without tickets and watched a movie. On September 22 they arrived in Harbin located in Heilongjiang Province. In Harbin, they visited a department store and then visited Changchun in Jilin Province. On September 23 they went to Shenyang in Liaoning Province. On September 25 they visited Fuzhou in Fujian Province before visiting Nanjing. They spend the next day in Nanjing. On September 27 they visited Xi'an in Shaanxi Province for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Also on September 27, they made their last stop returning to Lanzhou. When Huang went to sleep in their hotel room he woke up under the jujube tree mentioned earlier and was back in Dongbeigao Village They travelled to every city via the brothers flying and according to Huang no matter how close or how far the city was the time it took to get there was always 1 hour. He also noted that the brothers could speak the local dialects of all the provinces they visited and whenever they went to hotels the brothers always had a "provincial-level introduction letter". One of the brothers always watched Huang while the other would borrow clothing such as police or military uniforms from somewhere Huang didn't know. Clothing and yuan for the accommodations and meals were the only items the brothers carried as they didn't seem to own items such as bags and wallets. Aside from their ability to fly to anywhere they wanted and their strange behaviour such as only carrying clothes and money, Huang said that they were seemingly normal human beings in every other aspect and ate and slept like anyone else. They also had the same body temperature as anyone else would The only rules they seemed to have were that Huang was not allowed to photograph them or anything and he couldn't keep any souvenirs from his trips. When Huang asked why they singled him out they wouldn't respond and when he asked if they could teach him how to fly like them or tell him how they learnt to do it they gave a firm "No" as their answer. Just as they had told him in the 9 days he was missing they had visited 9 different cities. A map of his travels Huang was the talk of the village all over again and the superstitions that gods or ghosts were responsible continued. Eventually, the gossip around Huang had gotten to the point that the local police, propaganda department and the nearest military base had heard of Huang's story and began a very extensive investigation into Huang. Offical's believed that he was purposefully sabotaging the village's production and reputation and proceeded to classify him as a "class enemy" While being interrogated his behaviour was found to be "normal" and he showed no signs of mental illness or cognitive disorders. After they were unable to find any evidence of Huang being a threat they reluctantly let him go and revoked his "class enemy" status. Huang's story became well known throughout China and is one of the country's most famous alleged paranormal events and even the government officially declares his case as "unexplained" This is not the end of Huang's story though. On December 14, 2004, the case was reinvestigated by Zhang Jingping, an investigator of the Beijing Branch of the China UFO Association, Ji Jianmin, the chairman of the Feixiang UFO Association, and Dr. Wu, a famous Chinese hypnotist, professor of Peking University Medical Department. There was rather conclusive evidence of Huang's first two incidents as numerous witnesses as well as official telegrams all confirm that Huang had gone to sleep in his home village only to appear in Shanghai but there was far more doubt as to if he had been to any of the cities mentioned during his third disappearance. Huang was put under hypnosis and asked what happened and he told the doctor the same story he did back in 1977. Huang eventually woke up from the hypnotic state claiming that one of the two brothers made him wake up. In 2004 a documentary was made by CCTV and several interviews and tests were conducted during the documentary. He was subjected to a polygraph test and he ended up failing the test and Huang refused to accept these results. Those administering the tests also admitted that Huang's declining memory, the 27-year gap between the test and the incident and the stress of being subjected to such a test for the first time may affect the results. During the documentary, the police based on Huang's descriptions also created composite sketches of Gao Dengmin and Gao Yanjin. Due to the advancement in China's transportation infrastructure, Huang was brought to Nanjing and he was able to retrace his steps and attempt to recreate his journey from the sidewalk to the former then non-existent military base. They then brought Huang to the physiatric division of Beijing Anding Hospital where the lead doctor after reading his statements said that the brothers would've been travelling at supersonic speeds and that Huang had been sleepwalking or lying. Although nobody defended him from claims of sleepwalking his fellow villagers all refused to entertain the possibility that Huang was purposefully lying to them. They cited Huang's lack of motivation or ability to travel, how he travelled to Shanghai in such a short amount of time and how he had no reason to lie about it since telling his story caused him to become a laughing stock and lost him his fiance. Huang quite literally gain nothing from telling this story and it severely affected him negatively. Aside from a lack of evidence others supporting the lying theory state that Huang only claimed to have visited major cities prompting some to speculate that he just picked them out from a map and that oddly enough he never visited Shijiazhuang which is the capital of Hebei, the province that Huang actually lives in. Huang was examined by other psychologists and mental health professionals who deemed Huang to be sane which is the source of the sleepwalking theory. As this theory suggests, Huang was sleepwalking when he made his way to Nanjing and that the stories of the two brothers were just dreams he had while sleepwalking. Various Chinese netizens don't view this theory as credible since Huang while sleepwalking would need to either walk all the way to the train station in Handan (which would take 4 hours to drive to by car) and buy a tick with money he didn't have all while asleep. And while still sleeping once the train stopped in Zhengzhou he would've sleepwalked onto the next train to Shanghai all with nobody noticing he was sleepwalking and waking him up. Just to be sure though doctors performed an MRI scan of Huang's brain and the results came back normal. The third theory is that Huang suffered from multiple personality disorder and that Gao Dengmin and Gao Yanjin were in fact Huang himself and that he just perceived them as different people due to his disorder. The Gao personalities are the ones that actually travel to the locations only for Huang's normal personality to take over once he arrives at the destination hence him waking up. This theory also states that Huang flying on their backs is actually just a fantasy of Huang Yanqiu's repressed personality. This theory doesn't stand up to scrutiny as various Mental Health officials have found Huang sane and that he would've shown signs of multiple personality disorder before and after the three incidents. This theory also wouldn't explain the short travel times and Lü Qingtang's wife and son also witnessing the two as separate people. There is one more theory though it is from those who want to believe that it is all real and that Huang is telling the truth and that UFOs may be involved. They looked further into Huang's claims to try and find any proof that he was in the cities mentioned during his third disappearance. According to one source when describing the weather they matched up with geological data at the time but this appears to be unconfirmed. A journalist went to the Chang'an Grand Theater in Beijing to look through their records and see if they ever held the same performance Huang claimed to have seen. He discovered that the theatre closed due to the 1976 Tangshan Earthquake and wouldn't reopen until 1979 meaning that Huang could not have seen any performances in that theatre. However, there was another theatre nearby named the Jixiang Theater and they were open in 1977 and on September 21, 1977, the day Huang claimed to be in Beijing they held a performance of Forced Onto Mt. Liang. This journalist ruled that Huang hailing from a small and rural village could've easily confused two nearby and similar theatres in an unfamiliar environment such as the major city of Beijing. There are also those who agree that Huang travelled at nearly supersonic speeds but instead have a more terrestrial explanation and that Huang fell victim to military experimentation. This theory states that the military flew Huang to these cities for various experiments and that the Gao brothers were high-ranking officials in charge of the experiments. They then drugged Huang and made him undergo hypnosis to make him forget what he experienced. Many are skeptical of this theory because if the Chinese government wanted to conduct human experimentation they had a myriad of death row inmates and political prisons to draw upon so why instead abduct an innocuous rural farmer from his small village? "The Huang Yanqiu Incident" remains one of China's most infamous unsolved mysteries but as of now, there have been no new developments as a now 67-year-old Huang has opted to live a quiet life in his village away from the cameras. The last bit of news from Huang came from 2008 when he underwent another round of mental evaluations Sources https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E9%BB%84%E5%BB%B6%E7%A7%8B%E4%BA%8B%E4%BB%B6/3270760 http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050729/100743.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050729/100649.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050728/102027.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050727/102186.shtml https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/27626821 submitted by moondog151 to HighStrangeness [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 12:35 moondog151 "The Huang Yanqiu Incident" A rural villager would on three separate occasions go missing after going to bed only to wake up in a major city thousands of miles away and arrived in the city faster than he should've been possible given the distance.
Huang Yanqiu was born in 1956 in Dongbeigao Village in China's Hebei province. Little is known about his early life aside from the fact that he worked as a farmer in the village and his mother passed away while he was a child.
On July 27, 1977, Huang was 21 years old and still working as a farmer. Huang was recently engaged and planned on marrying his fiancee after the harvest season and the couple recently began building themselves a new home. At 10:00 PM Huang had just finished his farm work for the day and went to bed in his unfinished home. That was the last anyone had seen of Huang for a while as the next morning when the village woke up on July 28 Huang was nowhere to be found.
The village was greatly alarmed by Huang's disappearance and initiated a massive search effort to try and find him but there was no trace of Huang anywhere to be found. This worried and confused the villagers especially Huang's family as Huang never travelled far and only had a primary school level education. They searched the surrounding roads, ponds, cliffs and other unknown locations to try and find him and even contacted the nearest hospitals and police to ask if any unidentified bodies had been discovered but to no avail.
Fortunately, Huang would be found alive and unharmed but this only resulted in more questions. 10 days later on August 6 the village committee received a telegram from Shanghai. The telegram said that Huang was being held at a deportation center and that they were hoping for a local to come and pick him up. The telegram was late to arrive because it was accidentally addressed to the wrong village. There was just one problem, the telegram from Shanghai was dated at 9:AM on July 28 less than half a day after his disappearance. Huang was later returned by the police in Shanghai and it was indeed Huang. There was just one problem, Huang being in Shanghai that soon should've been impossible.
Huang was questioned by his fellow villagers and he could not provide an answer. According to him, he went to bed and when at 6:00 or 7:00 AM he was awoken by a loud noise, this noise wasn't that of the farm animals but instead the sounds of vehicles and numerous people. When he fully awoke he found himself on a sidewalk and that around him were cars, neon lights and tall buildings/skyscrapers. He wondered around and saw writing on the various buildings and businesses which said things such as "Nanjing Shopping Center", "Nanjing Restaurant", and "Nanjing Pharma" and that nearby was a large "swimming pool" which he later found out was Lake Xuanwu. It didn't take Huang long to realize that somehow he was in Nanjing the capital city of Jiangsu Province located 485 miles away from his home village.
While Huang who was now in complete and utter shock at his circumstance walked aimlessly around the unfamiliar city until he was stopped and approached by two police officers. Huang due to his state of shock and disbelief could barely answer their questions. When they asked Huang what he was doing or who he was he simply said that he was "really lost" the two officers led Huang to the Nanjing Rail Station and gave him a ticket to Shanghai and told Huang that they would be waiting for him and once he arrived he'd be taken to a "repatriation camp" for migrants and those without a hukou document. Huang not knowing what else to do and being in no position to disobey or resist bordered the train. 4 hours later the train pulled into Shanghai station and Huang headed out for the first police station he could find and to his confusion, the exact same police officers from Nanjing were already waiting for him despite being out of their jurisdiction, not boarding the train before him and most of all the train was the fastest method available at the time to travel between the two cities and the officers did not bored the train. Arriving to Shanghai before Huang should be straight-up impossible.
The two officers refused to let Huang enter the police station in Shanghai and instead dropped Huang off at the repatriation camp in Shanghai. Huang first told his story to a PLA soldier at the camp named Lü Qingtang and added the detail that the police officers in question were likely from Shandong province based on the ticket he was given. Huang stayed in the camp much longer than expected as when Huang woke up in Nanjing he didn't have any of his identity documents and when the telegrams were sent out to the village to come collect Huang they erroneously addressed them to Xinzhai Village instead of Dongbeigao Village. The confusion was only cleared up after Huang was identified via a birthmark and because the PLA soldier Huang talked to had relatives in the village.
As mentioned any questions the villagers had were multiplied as opposed to answered. Huang arriving in Nanjing that soon should be impossible. At the time trains in China were too slow to make such a fast trip. The nearest rail station was in the city of Handan which Huang would've had to find his way to in the dark despite having never even been to Handan before. But even if he did make it to Handan all by himself with next to no money the train would take 1 whole day to reach Nanjing as opposed to the 9-10 hours between when Huang went to sleep and when he woke up. And this is without taking into account the waiting time for the train to arrive at Haidan station and trains were notoriously late back them sometimes even being held back by an entire day and tickets were expensive.
Other methods of transportation also wouldn't work out. Planes and civilian aviation travel in China was still very new and of course expensive. The entirety of Hebei Province only had a tiny handful of airports with the closest one being in the north near Beijing located on the complete opposite side of Hebei from where Huang lived. It was deemed highly unlikely for Huang to make the trip there by himself especially as he wouldn't know the way and even if he did somehow make it to the airport there would still be the issue of paying for a ticket. A car also wouldn't work as nobody in Dongbeigao village owned a vehicle and even having a bicycle was considered immensely expensive and outside the means of the villagers. And even if he could use any of these methods it still wouldn't explain the short time as to even get from Dongbeigao village to the nearest city Handan would take 4 hours to drive from the village to the city by car. There was also the question of why Huang would assuming he wasn't lying would do this. Huang had never mentioned Nanjing or Shanghai at any point prior and the fact that leaving their ancestral village and families was frowned upon. How Huang made it to Nanjing in such a short amount of time is unknown but most villagers were prepared to accept it as a strange oddity and move on while others dismissed Huang as lying or bragging about visiting a city. That was until it happened again.
On September 8, 1977, it was harvest season in the village again and Huang and his fellow villagers were made to do backbreaking work during a meeting held by the village cadres. At 10:00 PM the head of the village gave Huang and a few other villagers permission to leave and go to bed early as long as they send and deliever manure/fertilizer the next morning. They all took the cadres up on this offer and went to sleep. The next morning on September 9 the villagers arrived at the fertiliser storage area only to notice that Huang was missing. Thinking that he had overslept they all went to his house only to find it empty. Something different caught their eye however, Carved into his bedroom wall was a message and that message said "Shandong Gao Dengmin, Gao Yanjin Relax"
Just like the last time Huang was in Shanghai and was quickly sent back to the village on September 11 and this time there were witnesses both in Shanghai and Dongbeigao. A majority of the village witnessed Huang go to his house and sleep before his disappearance the next morning and just like with his first disappearance Huang couldn't explain it.
According to Huang, he woke up at The Shanghai Rail Station due to a cold breeze, the same one the two mysterious police officers sent him to. Huang was again startled by his surroundings as it was the middle of the night and according to the Station's clock tower, it was 2:00 AM and as far as Huang could see there were no other people and the only light came from the stars and moon. Not only had Huang unknowingly travelled a far distance in an impossibly short time but he also did it at an inopportune time because along with the darkness Huang was constantly startled by the sound of thunder, lighting and battered by heavy rain and high winds because Typhon Babe had recently made landfall near Shanghai.
Huang who was now even more terrified than he was before could only think of Lü Qingtang, Lü was the PLA soldier who helped him after his first trip to Shanghai and was the one who ultimately helped him return home due to his relatives in the village. Lü was not only the only person Huang could think to help him but he was also the only person he knew at all in Shanghai. Finding Lü was not going to be easy as Huang wouldn't be able to navigate Shanghai at all let alone during a typhoon in the middle of the night with no people in sight.
As Huang began to walk he heard a voice coming from behind him hearing a man say "Hello there, you must be Huang Yanqiu of Feixiang County. Trying to head to the artillery division?" this shocked him immensely and he quickly turned back to see who this person was. When he turned around he saw two men dressed in military uniforms. They told Huang that they were soldiers belonging Lü's division and were assigned to pick him up from the railway station.
Huang followed the men who took various ferries and buses before arriving at the "artillery division" located in what is today the Pudong District. Despite how heavily guarded the area is the guards let Huang and the two men pass without issue. They then went to where Lü lived with his family and they were completely shocked to see them as well as Huang again. Lü however, wasn't home at the time. His wife Li Yuying was surprised that the three were even at their home because according to Li "When a relative comes to visit, they have to show their legal documents and sign in at the gate, we'll then come down and confirm their identities, then they can finally be let in. No way the guards and soldiers would let them in without any proceedings!" and years later Lü's son when questioned about the case would say that the two solider's uniforms looked off, he commented that . "...their uniforms looked quite the ordinary, yet not very fitting, especially their visors. One's shoes and visor are the most important part of the uniform,... their visors were too big, and their uniforms seem to have been borrowed, too."
Before his family could question the two they simply walked away and couldn't be found again. Huang being at the base was a major security violation and officials interrogated the guards on duty who all claimed to have never seen Huang and the two soldiers at any point. Once Lü returned home another telegram was sent directly to the head of Dongbeigao Village and they wanted to know every last detail about Huang and who exactly he was with the telegram even straight up asking if Huang was a spy. They received a response from the head of the village, telling them that Huang was just a farmer with no ill intent. Without any other information, the army decided to send Huang back to the village but sternly warned him that he'd be arrested if they ever see him again. He returned home on September 11. In their official reports the military was unable to explain how Huang got to Shanghai so quickly and managed to get into the base.
Due to the multitude of witnesses testifying that Huang went to sleep in the village and the military confirming that he was in Shanghai all those who felt that Huang was lying about his travels soon had their doubts erased. Huang became the most talked about resident of the village and not in a good way as he became the main subject of all the local gossip, rumours and of course superstitions. Many thought that he was possessed or haunted with that being the reason for his seemingly supernatural speed and ability to travel such short distances. The constant attention took a mental toll on Huang's fiance who sued his family for 200 yuan due to "reputational damages" and divorced him. This financially and emotionally ruined Huang and it was when he was at his lowest that the third and final incident happened.
Huang continued his work as a farmer and labourer for the village and on September 20, 1977, he had finished his work for the day and began walking home. According to Huang, however, so tired that he ended up passing out in the yard in front of his house and went missing again. He would stay missing until September 28 when he was found under a Jujube tree in the village and when asked where he had been he told them about the most extraordinary story yet.
According to him, after he passed out in front of his home he woke up and instead of on the sidewalk or in a deserted train station during typhoon season he instead found himself in a luxury hotel room. He looked around and behind him, he saw the same two men from the first two incidents. This time, however, they were both dressed in civilian clothing and introduced themselves. They told Huang that they were brothers from Shandong Province and identified themselves as Gao Dengmin, 26, and Gao Yanjin, 25. Huang also estimated that they were around 170 cm tall. They told Huang that they were the cause behind his disappearances and that they dressed as police and soldiers to help him find his way home, they said that they had something special planned for Huang and that during the next 9 days, they would take him to 9 major cities. Huang asked where he was right now and the brothers told him that it was still September 20 and that he was in Lanzhou located in China's Gansu Province the furthest he has ever been from home.
Soon Huang would learn how he had travelled so far so quickly because the next day on September 21 they made Huang climb onto their back and as Huang would later state "They took off" and quite literally flew away with just their bodies. Huang said that they were "flying" at a low altitude and that he didn't feel any wind, he also recounted that the brothers took turns carrying him on their back. In over an hour, the three had arrived in Beijing. They first went to the Chang'an Grand Theater without tickets and just like at the army base nobody stopped them. They watched an opera performance of Forced Onto Mt. Liang. Their next stop was Tiananmen Square and were in front of a Huabiao. The brothers who were now speaking standard Mandarin instead of their dialects introduced Huang to the surrounding areas and checked into a hotel showing the staff a "provincial-level introduction letter" for registration. That same day they then flew to Tianjin where they snuck into a movie theatre without tickets and watched a movie.
On September 22 they arrived in Harbin located in Heilongjiang Province. In Harbin, they visited a department store and then visited Changchun in Jilin Province. On September 23 they went to Shenyang in Liaoning Province. On September 25 they visited Fuzhou in Fujian Province before visiting Nanjing. They spend the next day in Nanjing. On September 27 they visited Xi'an in Shaanxi Province for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Also on September 27, they made their last stop returning to Lanzhou. When Huang went to sleep in their hotel room he woke up under the jujube tree mentioned earlier and was back in Dongbeigao Village
They travelled to every city via the brothers flying and according to Huang no matter how close or how far the city was the time it took to get there was always 1 hour. He also noted that the brothers could speak the local dialects of all the provinces they visited and whenever they went to hotels the brothers always had a "provincial-level introduction letter". One of the brothers always watched Huang while the other would borrow clothing such as police or military uniforms from somewhere Huang didn't know. Clothing and yuan for the accommodations and meals were the only items the brothers carried as they didn't seem to own items such as bags and wallets. Aside from their ability to fly to anywhere they wanted and their strange behaviour such as only carrying clothes and money, Huang said that they were seemingly normal human beings in every other aspect and ate and slept like anyone else. They also had the same body temperature as anyone else would The only rules they seemed to have were that Huang was not allowed to photograph them or anything and he couldn't keep any souvenirs from his trips. When Huang asked why they singled him out they wouldn't respond and when he asked if they could teach him how to fly like them or tell him how they learnt to do it they gave a firm "No" as their answer.
Just as they had told him in the 9 days he was missing they had visited 9 different cities. Huang was the talk of the village all over again and the superstitions that gods or ghosts were responsible continued. Eventually, the gossip around Huang had gotten to the point that the local police, propaganda department and the nearest military base had heard of Huang's story and began a very extensive investigation into Huang. Offical's believed that he was purposefully sabotaging the village's production and reputation and proceeded to classify him as a "class enemy" While being interrogated his behaviour was found to be "normal" and he showed no signs of mental illness or cognitive disorders. After they were unable to find any evidence of Huang being a threat they reluctantly let him go and revoked his "class enemy" status.
Huang's story became well known throughout China and is one of the country's most famous alleged paranormal events and even the government officially declares his case as "unexplained" This is not the end of Huang's story though.
On December 14, 2004, the case was reinvestigated by Zhang Jingping, an investigator of the Beijing Branch of the China UFO Association, Ji Jianmin, the chairman of the Feixiang UFO Association, and Dr. Wu, a famous Chinese hypnotist, professor of Peking University Medical Department. There was rather conclusive evidence of Huang's first two incidents as numerous witnesses as well as official telegrams all confirm that Huang had gone to sleep in his home village only to appear in Shanghai but there was far more doubt as to if he had been to any of the cities mentioned during his third disappearance.
Huang was put under hypnosis and asked what happened and he told the doctor the same story he did back in 1977. Huang eventually woke up from the hypnotic state claiming that one of the two brothers made him wake up. In 2004 a documentary was made by CCTV and several interviews and tests were conducted during the documentary. He was subjected to a polygraph test and he ended up failing the test and Huang refused to accept these results. Those administering the tests also admitted that Huang's declining memory, the 27-year gap between the test and the incident and the stress of being subjected to such a test for the first time may affect the results. During the documentary, the police based on Huang's descriptions also created
composite sketches of Gao Dengmin and Gao Yanjin. Due to the advancement in China's transportation infrastructure, Huang was brought to Nanjing and he was able to retrace his steps and attempt to recreate his journey from the sidewalk to the former then non-existent military base.
They then brought Huang to the physiatric division of Beijing Anding Hospital where the lead doctor after reading his statements said that the brothers would've been travelling at supersonic speeds and that Huang had been sleepwalking or lying. Although nobody defended him from claims of sleepwalking his fellow villagers all refused to entertain the possibility that Huang was purposefully lying to them. They cited Huang's lack of motivation or ability to travel, how he travelled to Shanghai in such a short amount of time and how he had no reason to lie about it since telling his story caused him to become a laughing stock and lost him his fiance. Huang quite literally gain nothing from telling this story and it severely affected him negatively. Aside from a lack of evidence others supporting the lying theory state that Huang only claimed to have visited major cities prompting some to speculate that he just picked them out from a map and that oddly enough he never visited Shijiazhuang which is the capital of Hebei, the province that Huang actually lives in.
Huang was examined by other psychologists and mental health professionals who deemed Huang to be sane which is the source of the sleepwalking theory.
As this theory suggests, Huang was sleepwalking when he made his way to Nanjing and that the stories of the two brothers were just dreams he had while sleepwalking. Various Chinese netizens don't view this theory as credible since Huang while sleepwalking would need to either walk all the way to the train station in Handan (which would take 4 hours to drive to by car) and buy a tick with money he didn't have all while asleep. And while still sleeping once the train stopped in Zhengzhou he would've sleepwalked onto the next train to Shanghai all with nobody noticing he was sleepwalking and waking him up. Just to be sure though doctors performed an MRI scan of Huang's brain and the results came back normal.
The third theory is that Huang suffered from multiple personality disorder and that Gao Dengmin and Gao Yanjin were in fact Huang himself and that he just perceived them as different people due to his disorder. The Gao personalities are the ones that actually travel to the locations only for Huang's normal personality to take over once he arrives at the destination hence him waking up. This theory also states that Huang flying on their backs is actually just a fantasy of Huang Yanqiu's repressed personality. This theory doesn't stand up to scrutiny as various Mental Health officials have found Huang sane and that he would've shown signs of multiple personality disorder before and after the three incidents. This theory also wouldn't explain the short travel times and Lü Qingtang's wife and son also witnessing the two as separate people.
There is one more theory though it is from those who want to believe that it is all real and that Huang is telling the truth and that UFOs may be involved.
They looked further into Huang's claims to try and find any proof that he was in the cities mentioned during his third disappearance. According to one source when describing the weather they matched up with geological data at the time but this appears to be unconfirmed. A journalist went to the Chang'an Grand Theater in Beijing to look through their records and see if they ever held the same performance Huang claimed to have seen.
He discovered that the theatre closed due to the 1976 Tangshan Earthquake and wouldn't reopen until 1979 meaning that Huang could not have seen any performances in that theatre. However, there was another theatre nearby named the Jixiang Theater and they were open in 1977 and on September 21, 1977, the day Huang claimed to be in Beijing they held a performance of
Forced Onto Mt. Liang. This journalist ruled that Huang hailing from a small and rural village could've easily confused two nearby and similar theatres in an unfamiliar environment such as the major city of Beijing.
There are also those who agree that Huang travelled at nearly supersonic speeds but instead have a more terrestrial explanation and that Huang fell victim to military experimentation.
This theory states that the military flew Huang to these cities for various experiments and that the Gao brothers were high-ranking officials in charge of the experiments. They then drugged Huang and made him undergo hypnosis to make him forget what he experienced. Many are skeptical of this theory because if the Chinese government wanted to conduct human experimentation they had a myriad of death row inmates and political prisons to draw upon so why instead abduct an innocuous rural farmer from his small village?
"The Huang Yanqiu Incident" remains one of China's most infamous unsolved mysteries but as of now, there have been no new developments as a now 67-year-old Huang has opted to live a quiet life in his village away from the cameras. The last bit of news from Huang came from 2008 when he underwent another round of mental evaluations
Sources https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E9%BB%84%E5%BB%B6%E7%A7%8B%E4%BA%8B%E4%BB%B6/3270760 http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050729/100743.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050729/100649.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050728/102027.shtml http://www.cctv.com/program/zoujinkexue/topic/science/C14443/20050727/102186.shtml https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/27626821 submitted by
moondog151 to
UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 12:14 GasHistorical5064 I'm worried if I can finish the rest of the story in one episode.
Personally, I felt that the development of the contents of season 3 and 2 was also urgent.
Of course, I really enjoyed it.
Now I remember when I was watching Infinity Train. As we got closer to the final episode, I thought, 'No, there are only a few 10-minute episodes left, so how do I end the story within that?' I thought endlessly.
I'm quite concerned.
Even if I finish the ending perfectly without any problems, it's a pity because I want to see more of Owl House.
It's a pity that the Hunter X Willow couple didn't get a little more volume.
It's a pity that the story of Mattholomule and brother Steve was deleted.
ps) I like Camila. Mother characters like this are rare.
ps2) Sentences can be unnatural because I work with a translator. I'm Korean(South)
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OwlHouseFrames [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 11:57 RewardBeautiful4549 AITA for not wanting my boyfriends ex-wife spend the night at his home???
I have been "seeing" this guy for about 1.5 yrs...for all intents and purposes he is my boyfriend however, we are not ready for anything serious. We do not live together, but we talk every single day, hang out, dinner, have amazing sex, etc... Now, admittedly he has a great relationship with his ex wife...they have 2 biological kids between them, 7 kids altogether from previous relationships (all adults, ages 20-40yrs). They were married for 21yrs, together for 28yrs. She is one that initiated the divorce and have been divorced for 3 yrs, 4yrs with separation. However, after the divorce was final, he moved on and for the past year and half he and I have been an intimate relationship. We'll, after realizing what she had, she wanted to make things work out with him and get back together, he said no. He loves her but does not want to be with her. But he continues to include her in nearly every aspect of his life...career moves, life changes, etc. I don't have a problem with them being friends...I get it. Recently, he found some old pictures, they reminisced about good they had it and how the screwed it up...blah blah blah. Apparently, she thought they had green light to try to work things out and she asked if she could stay with him (for about 3 days) while she was in town for work and he said YES. Here is the kicker, I was supposed to spend the night with him, we had plans to do things for those exact same days. He said we could still do those things...however, he asked me not be "lovey dovey" in front of her so not throw it her face that we were together. Needless to say this pissed me off. (I forgot to mention that she and I know each other, we are NOT friends. I don't dislike her nor her me, but she doesn't want to be around me and I don't want to be around her). Anyway, I was very upset that he was going to let her stay with him and asked ME not to stay. His reasoning, she is STILL FAMILY and he has made plainly clear that since she is still family, she will ALWAYS have a place to stay with him. (Mind you, he only has one bed at his place and a couch and she has a 6 figure income and can easily afford hotels and/or airbnb). This has caused a huge riff between us. AITA for thinking this is totally inappropriate??
submitted by
RewardBeautiful4549 to
AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 11:57 PaulblankPF Problem solved in true dad fashion.
| So my son kept taking his diaper off and peeing all over all the sudden. Totally new behavior for him. My wife was working and after the third time I was feeling a little crazy and desperate cause he had pants on but that didn’t stop him.Each time my back was only turned for a moment. Once was to pee, once was to wet a rag to wipe his face, once I was fixing food for him and multitasking watching him. He can’t talk yet so we can’t necessarily communicate to please leave it on and I only way later thought about onesies. So in a moment of desperation I went and got my painters tape and gave him a painters tape belt on that bad boy to make it harder to get off. It worked till bath time and a onesie got put on later. Sometimes Dad problems require Dad solutions. submitted by PaulblankPF to daddit [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 11:08 Timely-Lab-3822 Incident when entering UK on spouse visa vignette this morning
Hello,
Some background:
I'm British, my wife is Vietnamese. We both currently live in Vietnam. My wife successfully received a spouse visa in January with a vignette expiry date of 20th of April.
The visa turnaround time was a lot faster than was indicated by the UK government at the time of our application in October. Thus we were in a situation where my wife needed to enter the UK before the vignette expiry - but unfortunately we have commitments in Vietnam until June, which was the date we intended to move together to the UK.
Our solution to this was: My wife flew alone to Manchester (arriving today), whilst I have stayed in Vietnam. She will be in the UK for 1 week, picking up her BRP, before returning to Vietnam after 6 days.
After my wife returns to Vietnam, we'll stay there until flying together to the UK in June.
Problem at the border:
At the border in Manchester this morning, my wife was questioned 'Where is your partner?' she replied that he is in Vietnam and we'll be returning together to the UK in June. She was then taken to one side, told that you need to be joining your partner in the UK and she was told that she will be sent on a flight back. My wife called me and passed the phone to the officer, I explained the situation. Around 5 minutes later my wife was let through and she is now at my family home in the UK.
She received a form (Home Office Form IS:81) which had a tick on the following:
You are liable to be detained under: Paragraph 16(1) to Schedule 2 of the Immigration Act (1971) pending you examination and pending a decision to give or refuse you permission to enter.
We know know that we should have researched the entry rules more closely.
Of course I'm relieved that the situation was resolved today. However I'm now very concerned about whether this incident could have a effect on our future in the UK. For example, when we fly again in June, can we expect any issues? when we apply to extend the visa and eventual ILR - could today's events have any implication for that?
Thanks in advance.
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ukvisa [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:44 SuperToast222 My (32M) wife (25F) is close friends with someone she was intimate with on multiple occasions.
So my wife is close friends with this guy like the title says. We've been married about a month and this guy has always kind of been around.
We've talked about it and she's made it clear that I am the only one for her etc.
The problem is how they talk to each other.
I've looked over while she's texting and she sends him messages like "You're so amazing"
And he'll send her stuff like "I hope your day is going well" "you're doing a great job"
My first instinct is that guys don't invest that much time into a woman unless they're hoping for something else eventually
But we've also talked about that and she says she has always come across flirty and that they are just really close and she cares deeply about him because he was the first guy that treated her well and she says she found me because he showed her what she deserves. So I'm thinking I'm overreacting buuut
She sent him a "you're amazing" text and his next reply was "you never told me how your wedding went" with an upside down smiley-emoji.
Am I reading into that too much or is he trying to probe our relationship to see what chances he has?
I've never controlled any of her friends because I know those comments are coming. This is the only friend that bothers me because of the history and she just seems way too cool with it being married
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SuperToast222 to
relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:39 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me? Incel (without hate) seeks reason.
Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this,
Advice and
relationships wouldn't allow my post because it contains links. Anway, here I go:
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me. Here are some examples of me on a dating app.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?
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John-The-Bomb-2 to
AskWomenNoCensor [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:36 KnownRegion7271 Please help
Wish I could kill someone , after all my dark thoughts and trying to kill myself many times a dar tought in my head is telling me to kill bad people
Have a lot of anxiety attacks also my depression is acting up , lot of dark thoughts , been sleeping a lot , been abusing my pills , haven't been going to my AA meetings , having a lot of problems and trouble with my wife she doesn't even care anymore she doesn't want to help me or even deal with my depression and have some other problems with her and her family full of problems that are overflowing also towards me , I also get very anxious because she takes it out on me , she has been verbally abusing me for quite a while , I shut up for the sake of not fighting because I can wake up the dark side of me and scream and make her cry and her family very easily because inside I have my darkness and without making any real damage but I feel Im going to explode , have been drinking any alcohol , also looking for other drugs , can't concentrate on anything , can't sleep very well at nights but also sleep a lot during the day , also been crying a lot , 1 year anniversary of death of my mother was almost a month ago , I feel I really need her right now I need her advice or her ear her food her protection, don't have anyone else to talk to , she always helped me or at least heard me , already tried to kill myself 3 times this past year . I have some money problems also with my wife and her family, we have a kid together, she doesn't work I support the 3 of us , we have food , house , cars , good school , even with my problems I try to manage to work and provide , she only tries to waste it on stupid stuff or "lending" to her family that never comes back and they also spend on stupid stuff even they earn more than me but they are always without money to end the month so here comes the stupid that saves money , this is long I don't know what to do sorry the long post my head is a mess , I also feel like killing myself , I feel empty I want to die but my kid deserves a good father and a good education but sometimes I feel that's not enough my darkness consumes me please help
submitted by
KnownRegion7271 to
SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:21 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me? Incel (without hate) seeks reason.
Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this,
Advice and
relationships wouldn't allow my post because it contains links. Also, I'm aware that this is a gay men's sub but I think my issues would be visible to anyone who understands people. Anway, here I go:
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me. Here are some examples of me on a dating app.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
askgaybros [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:19 Appropriate_Owl32 I wanted to be friends with my neighbour but now I'm unfolding drama?!
So I recently moved into a new home in Malaysia, jb. And our balconies are right beside each other. Some of you might have seen the post about the neighbours cat coming in too. It's a couple. A guy from Egypt and a woman from Indonesia. At first, I thought they were a growth oriented couple because I had a long chat with the husband once. He is very friendly and really super nice. I've been extremely lonely as my family doesn't stay with me and I have no friends here.
So this was how things first started out: I first came to their home to share a house warming gift and to ask for the WiFi since my home was not yet ready (for the wifi - people here I feel don't like to work as much as other places do or maybe they just dislike the nationalities living here) - only the husband was home as his wife worked, travelled often and he is a work from home plus studying full time. A few times we said our greetings on the balcony.
The next time we met, I was very sick and he had asked me how I was. Keep in mind, he is just seriously friendly and kind. I shared I haven't eaten all day and tryna get better but without western meds. A few hours later he came to my door and passed me some Macs this was at almost 12am or 1am. He and I both are night owls. I thanked him but said it really wasn't needed. He insisted and I took it. After, we started chatting again at the door and eventually he brought me into his home to share some alternative supplements I could take as well as introduce me to the cats. I didn't want to go in. I asked many times if his wife would be okay with that and if it was okay for a single woman like me to enter so late at night etc. He kept saying all was gonna be okay. And I don't have to worry blah blah. We ended up chatting at his place until 3 or 4am. Many times I wanted to leave but then he kept on continuing the convo. Fast forward a month or 2 month later. We have only officially met and spoken a few more times. With some of these just meeting and chatting at the door + some xmas/lunar new year gifts.
By Feb, he wanted to "get rid" of a cat he didn't like. They had 3 cats at this point. And I told him via text we could intro them later on in the day or another time. But again at 1am he brought them over. And this ended up disturbing his wife sleep. And she woke up to see her husband entering my home - a single woman with her cats and their food and litter box. She was VERY mad. And I think her suspicion started then. Even before we started meeting and all, I always asked him how his wife would feel and almost thought she was imaginary cause I actually never saw her. Ever. I first met her when she came back from yoga class and felt she was nice too. But of course, not as nice as her husband was. It seemed to be a similar case with many couples around here. There really needs to be a boundary or healing relationship expert around here.
And that was the first time I realized that he was so bad at communicating with her. He literally just said " it's OK it's ok" and she was like "what the heck are you doing at this time?!" And more than that, when a few hours passed and he took them back - I really didn't wanna do this in the middle of the night but those hours seem to be his most active lol. I asked him if he and his wife were OK. Cause she looked really mad. And he said again that all was fine, just the usual suspicion but I've already cleared it up and let her know. She will cool down soon he said.
Since then, everything spiraled and even the cat whom once visited me and became my friend was taken away from me (I'm not sure if it was planned or not to this day) but it felt like it was cause it happened so suddenly. And now her husband only ever says this to me " talk to my wife about everything" and last night I confronted him I asked him if he is keeping distance because of his wife or whether he is uncomfortable being my friend.
Cause we used to chat about everything and that really made my stay here less lonely. I wanted to share more about my day and my experiences and learn from his sharing. I didn't realize he would have such a different dynamic with his wife. He really appeared to really love her. But respecting her boundaries or understanding her needs doesn't seem to be something he is very aware of. And instead of addressing those things, he seems to just make himself small to accommodate until she is satisfied. They have serious healing needed in terms of trust issues. I just found out that his wife literally compares text msges he receives from me and her own phone. And he even asked me to delete all the msges he sent to me about how his wife is displeased and suspicious and that is why he is keeping distance and asks me to instead befriend his wife. He even said this was normal ?!?! And that tho he knows there is nothing going on between us at all. He doesn't want her to overthink or be upset - literally went from "hey how is your day" at the balcony - to "bye, I've gotta go" in less than a minute.
And he even texted me to not directly share the matter with his wife cause that won't solve anything?! Even tho it seems like it's much better to?! And he even says his wife schedule is very tight so I gotta only keep the convo small and light. I dunno why but as a man, he really seems to shirk responsibility in some way. I can put myself in her position and be suspicious too but I think he wasn't being fully honest with her and also not very honouring of boundaries. I did tell him I could stick to boundaries if needed but I think as a couple they never discussed theirs. Thing is, I don't wanna get in between them and I still wanna have a friend. But it is obvious to me he cares more about her than me - which is fine. He does love her. But this puts me in a terrible position. Cause I'm so lonely. Especially without the cat anymore. And I really don't like to be in the way of others relations neither do I want others to be in my way either.
And then he told me to be consistent by deleting my chats from him and keeping only the one about the cat - I'm guessing in case the wife checks. This is ridiculous. I don't wanna get involved with the drama. But I'm also really wanting to put my skills of improving relationships and marriages into the table. Literally taught my parents to become both better parents and partners to one another thru honesty, respect and love (showing love to be exact since Asians seem to have this problem)
Just wanted to get this off my chest. I know what I must do - set boundaries. Be honest. And discuss about their trust issues. OK maybe that third one only applies if we go deep enough.
Also for context, I don't have a lot of friends and it isn't easy for me to get along with someone else. They need to have values of Learning, growth and willingness to expand consciousness. Which are things very rare around here. Hence why I got along better with her husband. I thought she was the same but she isn't. Tho she can be nice too. The vibe just isn't as easy going. I just wanna bring to awareness that maybe the guy is too yin, the female too yang - and they need to balance that out for a more harmonious rs but I know its not my place again ugh!!
Sigh. I'll just do what I can. And see if I have any other opportunities to make friends at other places instead.
submitted by
Appropriate_Owl32 to
TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 10:13 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me? Incel (without hate) seeks explanation.
Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this,
Advice and
relationships wouldn't allow my post because it contains links. Anway, here I go:
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me. Here are some examples of me on a dating app.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:44 Candid_Cantaloupe_58 This was posted 5-30-22, her old videos have been popping up more but this one annoys me.⬇️
| Remember when she got with that auggie guy who’s wife she was supposed to be “friends” with and it created all that drama? But then her excuse for her cheating was her and Cody making that video of them “finally closing their open marriage “. Gabby constantly put all of their marriage problems out there for the world to see and criticize everytime something happens, she’s so immature. I’m not saying Cody’s a good guy cause he’s definitely not but constantly running around and dropping everything for your friends but never really being there for your family would take a toll on any relationship submitted by Candid_Cantaloupe_58 to bbyegansnarks [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 09:42 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me? Incel without hate seeks reason.
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
datingadviceformen [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:34 MrRedneck Our new house purchase fell through... After our house sale has already gone unconditional. Not sure what the best next step is!
I live in Christchurch, recently sold our property in Linwood. We've turned a decent profit, and will end up with $250k~ ish cash after we pay off our 470k mortgage.
Problem, we have my single $100kish income, wife is a stay at home parent and we have two kids. We're not going to get approved for a new mortgage of the same value and the only way to transfer is if settlement of the sold and purchased property is on the same day according to my bank (less than 3 weeks from now).
Do I a) try and find a new house to purchase and hope that the stars align and that it works out. Lack of time to do due diligence worries me about this.
B) rent for a bit and hope we can find something... Ok? At some point soon, knowing that on a single income our mortgage options are going to be bad. My wife will likely go back to work in a year or so, at least part time.
C) purchase some bare land somewhere we'd like to end up in a few years with the intention of either paying it all in cash or with a small mortgage. We can keep saving and hopefully get a mortgage that will allow us to build in the future (either for ourselves or to sell on for a profit) + possibility of capital gains.
Feels like a very limited amount of time to make some big life decisions very quickly! But we took a risk and it didn't pay off, so I guess it is what it is.
submitted by
MrRedneck to
PersonalFinanceNZ [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:33 ScaredAnteater2188 Nothing seems to work and my mental health is finished
21m, had full body eczema my whole life. My eczema is pretty much everywhere. The few places that aren’t affected are the bottom of my feet, palms of my hands and my private areas. Even then I’ve started to get occasional dry skin on my armpits and around my ‘thing’.
GP’s have pretty much given me steroid cream after steroid cream and the same advice since I was a kid. I remember being maybe 8 years old saying ‘give me the cream with a lion picture bc that gets rid of it’ (fucibet or fucidin used to have this little lion picture on the tube). The same advice every time of ‘put more moisturiser on’ just got ridiculous. Hydromol ointment 7 times a day just isn’t practical to go about any part of the day constantly dripping. Once upon a time aveeno would keep my skin moist all day but it seems the moisturisers and steroid creams are exactly like painting over a crack in a wall. The problem gets hidden until it gets worse and you need a thicker paint. I’ve been given betnovate ointment on repeat prescription since I was in high school.
Around a year on ciclosporine was similar, it eventually stopped working. Started around July 2021 just after the worst flare ups. Most recently had 4 months on dupixent and the same thing. Started December 2022. This made my hair fall out after 2 months or so of using it and my vision blurry and constant stinging eyes after 3 months. Dermatology now want me on rinvoq which I’m not optimistic about. I’ll likely end up being good for a couple months and then add more problems to my list of issues. Nothing seems to work.
I’ve been depressed. Suicidal thoughts daily for months at a time but could never really attempt it. Only the thoughts of how my mum would feel and the best line my elder brother ever gave me stopped me from actually doing anything. ‘If you kill yourself it’s just a 1st class ticket to hell’ - I’m a Muslim and suicide is a major sin.
Now, I’m not suicidal. But there’s a sort of emptiness and hopelessness. A mindset of ‘these are the cards I’ve been dealt and there’s nothing I can do about it’. I’m getting used to constantly having this depression in my mind and having no confidence. Pushing 3 months now where almost every time I leave my bedroom I put a hood up or hat on. For around 2 years now I haven’t even bothered trying to talk or get close to a new girl. Why would I when I don’t have any confidence in how I look and don’t even look like my pictures anymore. Nobody wants somebody with problems like mine, people want positive not depressing. I’m smart enough to know I’m getting used to things that I shouldn’t be getting used to. I think of my future and it’s blank. What kind of life can I really expect for myself. The typical hope every guy has from young of big house, fast car, happy wife and kids and financially well enough to look after mum and not worry when bills come in is out the window. It’s just not realistic - how can I ever get that when I can barely keep a job due to constant absences caused by regular flare ups.
Failed out of uni whilst going through the worst flare ups ever. This is from when I failed in august 2021 to when I failed the repeat year in 2022. A daily routine of waking up unable to move, to the extent I’d starve myself as long as possible bc it was too painful to open my mouth. Then rip everything open like a wild animal and eventually I’d ‘finish’ itching every bit of skin on my body and sit crying and shaking bc the pain was so bad. From that point onwards I’d spend the rest of the day high on weed and come night I’d cry myself to sleep bc of how horrible the thoughts in my mind were. This was everyday for up to 3 months at a time.
My skin isn’t even bad right now but it’s only a matter of time till another flare up, and I guess this is my life. To top it off my liver reading from the blood test came up at 214 - it should be below 55 - and the docs straight away say it’s bc I smoke too much weed. I honestly think they’re clutching at straws here bc in 3, nearly 4, years of smoking my liver hasn’t come up once and 1 gram a day I wouldn’t call a crazy amount considering there’s been periods where I’d smoke 2 grams a day and was fine. Also, I’m sure all the medicines they give me such as the regular prednisolone courses and cyclosporine affect the liver. Not saying it can’t be the weed, just it could be multiple other things.
Right now, my hair still hasn’t grown back, I’m hesitant to start the rinvoq but I guess I don’t have a choice really. The docs want me to stop smoking weed which is my only real break from things and avoid gym bc sweating likely irritates my skin, 2 of few things I enjoy anymore.
Where am I supposed to go from here? What am I supposed to do with my life? I’ll probably end up having a heart attack on rinvoq knowing my luck, and watch the docs say it’s bc of the weed and nothing to do with the ‘safe’ medicines they give me that fix one issue by causing another. Appreciate anybody that read this essay, I guess I needed to vent my thoughts out somewhere. Any advice would be great ❤️
submitted by
ScaredAnteater2188 to
eczema [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:32 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me? Incel without hate seeks explanation.
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
Datinginyourtwenties [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:29 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me (screenshots in links)?
Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this,
Advice and
relationships wouldn't allow my post because it contains links. Anway, here I go:
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me. Here are some examples of me on a dating app.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
ForeverAlone [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:14 RumLake 29 [M4F] #EastCoast-Master looking for TPE/slave girl to own and train
I'm a 29 white male from NYC looking for a girl that serious and wants to make Masteslave dynamic a reality.
Now most of these dynamics are all a kink or secondary or come and go but I am looking for a girl that's really seeking ownership and giving yourself up as the primary goal of our relationship. A girl that's naturally submissive and is okay with leaving everything behind to start her life over with her Master.
A little about me: I am 6'1 tall, white, brown hair, brown eyes, average body type. I do have a steady WFH job that's in tech. I am looking to relocate soon so distance or location is not an issue for me. I am capable of taking care of you and our future family without an issue. You will not have to work ever again and I will take care of us financially. I am naturally dominant and naturally submissive girls go well with me. I am also very loyal and caring to the right girl. You as my slave will also be my girlfriend, and wife one day. Once I find the right girl you will have my word and I will always be by your side no matter what. I will never cheat or lie to you. I give my girl my very all and work through every problem together. I am also sadistic and enjoy masochist girls as well. Some other kinks I enjoy: Anal, impact play, rough sex, TPE, edging, denial, forced orgasms.
If you're interested we can start off online of course with future plans to live together one day. Starting off with online you will have to message throughout the day and be good at responding. Depending on what your job/life situation is we can adjust it don't worry. I will control your day to day activities. What you wear, when you wake up, who you see, control of what apps you're allowed to use, the foods you eat, everything I decide essentially. I know its a lot off the jump so we can start off small and work our way up. I don't expect a girl to do this all in the beginning without getting to know me well and I am okay with that. As long as the girl is eager and wanting this life style just as much as I am.
If you're serious and want this, send me a chat message and let's get to talking. Send me a chat message with your name, age, ethnicity, and a general description of yourself. See you there!
submitted by
RumLake to
AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:13 John-The-Bomb-2 What is wrong with me (screenshots provided)?
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are the problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:
- I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
- I am completely self-interested.
- I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
- I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me.
- I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
- I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example,
here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary,
my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand,
post visible here. The song in the background of that post,
"Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/ This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/ But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
submitted by
John-The-Bomb-2 to
dating [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:08 ThrowRA-Pandax (36F)(33M) What are the rules in regard to being friends with benefits? Are there some things that you don't talk about? Do you only talk about sex only? Or do you also talk about other things?
I've been casually seeing this guy since August. Recently he told me that he let his bestfriend (that's a woman and her child stay with him). He said he's known her for 10 years and that he's trying to help her. (No she's not his wife and it's not his child) He told me that he doesn't have any peace in house that it's stressful. And that everyone told him not to let her move in with him. He also told me that his mom has Cancer and that he is currently laid off. I told him that he's too nice and that there is nothing wrong with helping people. But not to the extent of it being a problem for him. And that he should really focus on his mom at this time. That he doesn't need the extra stress. He is also a diabetic, so he has his own health issues.
I'm not sure why he told me all this? Because we are just hooking up. But I did tell him to let me know if he needs anything.
Also, I gave this guy a massage he and I are just friends and we have sex. And he told me that his love language was physical touch. Because he was getting turned on just from me touching him. I told him mine was intelligence and he said he doesn't feel like he's really smart. And I told him that I thought he was.
People say friends with benefits is strictly about sex and nothing more what do you think? Personally I don't mind if he talks to me about his problems. But I'm just wondering if it's too much?
****TLDR****
submitted by
ThrowRA-Pandax to
relationships [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 09:04 rylandcorsair [WTS/WTT] Hinderer Scales XXX: Knight of Diamonds - titanium, g10, rainbows, butter, cookie, ham, brass, etc (XM-18 3.5, Jurassic, Eklipse, and more)
Take $5 off for each additional item purchased. Chat preferred. Everything's always "OBO", feel free to hit me up via chat (worst I can do is say no!)
Mostly looking to sell, but always willing to look at trade/partial trade offers. Current interests:
- Hinderer junk that a sane person wouldn't touch with a 10 ft pole made out of the gold required to afford it
- Full Track would be nice? Full Track for some scales?
Prices are all PayPal F&F (no notes!!!) and includes shipping (USPS, USA-only, USD currency). Ships out via USPS whenever I feel like it. Eh, super busy all weekend so probably Tuesday. Purple Monkey Dishwasher. I'm away from the internet intermittently -- and honestly probably going to sleep for 12 hours right after I post this, so apologies in advance if I don't get back to you for a long-ass time.
Thanks for looking!
A note on the Meton Boss scales:
By design the Meton Boss scales have recessed lock bar access, making the the knife easier to close (huge improvement!!!). Some makers will also do this for you if ask them nicely. Like my buddy Jeff -- he'll Dremel you some lockbar access no problem! Hit me up if you want his number, but don't mention the Jets to him or he'll talk your ear off. He only accepts cash or cigarettes though, none of this Venmo garbage. My wife's always telling me to Venmo people she's buying junk from on FB Marketplace. Man, my bank doesn't even accept that shit -- talk about cash advance fees up the butt! $30 for a set of clothing hangers? A USED set of hangers? I don't care if they're felt, thats nuts! Banks just screwing you because they can. Anyhow, Meton Boss's frag scales are very reminiscent of the CRK Umnumzaan.
>> Timestamp <<
In honor of Easter coming up, I've scattered these all over like an egg hunt! Enjoy!
- XM-18 3.5 Kirkland Signature by R.C. -- Like new / not mounted. SV 69.42
- XM-18 3.25 pink frag gelatinated starch LEFTY by R.C. -- Like new / not mounted. SV 69.42
- XM-18 3.5 "Rainbow" frag titanium scale by Meton Boss (modded) -- Never mounted, heat anodized in some idiot's garage. SV 200.69
- XM-24 Extra Extra Extra Extra Skinny aluminum scale by R.C. -- Like new / not mounted. SV 69.42
- XM-18 3.5 Happy Birthday! scale by R.C. -- Like new / not mounted, but has "patina'd" brown. SV 69.42
- Jurassic "Dino Butter" Scale by R.C. -- Mounted and carried a dozen times. Mounts on a liner. Brass has a brushed look, but obviously the maker isn't that great at polishing. Hand-made in some idiot's garage. SV 175.69
- Eklipse Tactical Celebration Pfefferkuchen scale by R.C. -- Like new / not mounted. SV 69.42
- Jurassic g10 "cutout" OD green -- Yes SV 30.69
- XM-18 3.5 "Easter Sunrise" frag titanium scale by Meton Boss (modded) -- Unused/unmounted, heat anodized in some idiot's garage. SV 200.69
- CLONE XM-18 3.5 "High Quality Knife" scale -- CLONE, used, has a few mounting issues (but would be a great "project" scale). SV 69.42
- XM-18 3.5 "Oil Spill" frag titanium scale by Meton Boss (modded) -- Unused/unmounted, heat-blackened in some idiot's garage. Isn't 100% black, has a little splash of color (can kind of see it in the pics, its a bit like the oil slick zirconium). SV 200.69
- Eklipse "Pot of Gold" Scale by R.C. -- Mounted, carried about a dozen times. Mounts on a liner. Brass has a brushed look and (AGAIN) the maker obviously isn't that great at polishing. Hand-made in some idiot's garage. SV 175.69
- "Containment Series" Bundle by R.C. -- All of these have, uh, "patina'd" quite a bit. Used but not abused, kept in a nice airtight container. SV 420.69 XM-18 3.5 Contoured Nanner XM-18 3.5 Pasteurized Freedom XM-18
3" 2" Thin-Sliced Honey Hamderer
Free Add-Ons
submitted by
rylandcorsair to
Knife_Swap [link] [comments]