Waiting on god by andrew murray

After hundreds of Exfils, just had the most amazing game to date. Felt like being in a movie. Hoping someone else from my squad reads this and comments.
We complete a mission and decide to head for the Weapons Case. On the way there I try to shortcut our vehicle over the mountain but screw it up and land us right in the middle of a bunch of armored soldiers. Both my squadmates go down and I cant get to them. I'm trying to dodge bullets and thin the crowd and near death several times. About 10 minutes go by and my squaddies are still there waiting. Can't let 'em down. The armored soldiers finally take me down but I have a self revive. A few more minutes of attrition and I finally am able to revive them.
We head to the buy station and I grab the LTV. Then we get jumped by another squad. We take down 1 guy who immediately pleads for help. A second guy has us almost mowed down. Just as his is about to kill me and end our chances I jump for their downed squaddie and hit rescue. Thankfully a rescue doesn't take any time so as he pops up, I die, but he unloads on his former squaddie. The third member of their squad, we see run off, never to be seen again.
We then head to the weapons case which is no longer moving. They must have gotten wiped by the bots. I grab it, and we head to the exfil. Just as the chopper is about to fly in, radiation sweeps in. We head to the final exfil. 30 seconds to go and we finally can pull this thing off. Another squad comes roaring in, firefight, we come out on top and away we go.
Sorry for the self indulgent post and I realize now, words don't do it justice, but if you've been in a DMZ and had stuff go down like this, I think you get it. Man that was a blast.

I feel so lost and misplaced. I'm so confused right now. I don't even know what I'm doing. It's not because of what you said or asked yesterday. It's my state since past sometime (days). I was trying to be okay. I guess I was. I feel I'll fail at everything that I do right now. I'm exhausted mentally and maybe physically. I feel like I have travelled more than I was supposed to. I go home and keep on waiting to feel better so I could do something more. Be more. Think more. Be better for you. Universe and existence keeps on bothering me. Everything baffles me. I feel like my reality is as same as of earth in this universe. Just existing and spinning. I ask why doesn't god help it? Just a why?
I get scared to talk to you about such things. I feel you'll get sad to see me like this. I don't want to give you negativity. Maybe you'll also get disappointed. I have been here before. I think it'll pass. That's why I didn't talk about it. And more importantly I didn't lie or hide anything. You didn't ask is there anything bothering you or is there something more than just a routine are you okay? So, I think I didn't lie about anything. I'm also not saying this is your fault or something. I'm telling you I just couldn't tell you ji bus. I think if we were living together then I'd have told you easily. But saying such things over texts can be confusing and mind boggling. Why am I so tired? I want to sleep in a warm bed with no worry of time and place. I have been meaning to say to you since past few days that I'd love to sleep in your lap. The best sleep possible. It might be answer to everything. But I think I'll be restless while doing so because I'd be worried that your legs would get tired this way. Or your back might hurt. Am I even making sense? Do I ever make sense?
I wish everything for you. I wish I could be everything for you, but I'm so so insufficient. And I don't say it so you could reassure me. I mean it. I lack in everything you could wish for. I want to give my heart to get everything you want..
I love you. 🖤
Stupidest lost monkey. 🌸
Edit: I'll also send it to you probably. Posting it here doesn't mean I'm doing poor communication. I don't think 11AM in the morning is the right time to send it. So, posted it here.

All i wanted was to be loved by you ! Like the way i love u always, like the way you promised me, like the way i deserve to be.
I gave you my everything….i m left with nothing other than this sadness, being broke and overthinking. Now, i just want to sleep for 3-4 days so that i can feel a bit better.
You are my hope….address me before it is too late. Don’t take this relationship & time as for granted. I wish god gives u a little brain to come out of this self obsession & think about others too.
I don’t know what u gonna do with me….but i will still pray for your good health n safety! I love you and i will keep on loving you !

Hi there my name is Ty I have several years of roleplay experience I’m a 20 year old male. I’m literate to advanced literate I prefer to write a minimum of three paragraphs per response but I can always go lower then that to match my partner.
I’m looking for a partner that is at least 18+ no minors please, someone’s who’s semi literate or above with a great form of descriptiveness, someone who can use face claims and references for outfits, someone who doesn’t make me feel like I’m carrying the story all to much and I think that’s it.
Plots~
1~ A blind date set up by mutual friends causes to strangers to go out on the town of New York after the wait staff at the restaurant were out of pocket, (flirting with my or your oc and ext.) My oc is more of a hoodlem doing races at the edge of nights causing him one day to get in a bad accident. (This would be long term into the rp.). (Long term slow burn)
2~ A new restaurant opens up in the ghetto’s of Chicago. Serving breakfast from 7am-4pm. You play as a new higher and I’m the owner of the restaurant. However both The restraunt and I have a dark secret I’m a arms/drug dealer using the reatraunt to launder money and sell drugs and guns. (Long term)
3~ a weird situation. Your my brothers ex wife however your vacation was already planned before the you caught him cheating. We’ve been friends since children and I was the one who introduced you to him. Both our ocs are from West Virginia and the vacation is in New York or somewhere else.
You decided to go and so did I however were from different classes as I’m often getting in trouble with the law and my big brother is a successful businessman who’s rich. I am youngest child and the second oldest brother is who bought my hotel room but as I get to the hotel a couple minutes before you I find out my hotel room was canceled and I have to sleep on the couch of the penthouse room you got. (Long term slow burn)
All my plots are romance/drama/action, and I’d be happy to incorporate some of your ideas as well into them. I have other plots as well some I’ve been wanting to do more then these!
I only use discord to role-play sorry if that’s a deal breaker for you. I have some plots in my head atm but I’d love to hear yours as well. Hope to get a dm from you soon!

Hello there! Glad to see so many other wonderful people on this path.
After a long wait (~2 years for me), I have just recently been added to the Foreign Births Registry and became a citizen! Now it's time to apply for a passport.
You may have noticed, depending on which webpage you view, the required documents needed to apply are vague or not talked about for FBR citizens, all it says is that you need to apply to be added to the FBR first. I don't know what this entails, and I'm just getting run in circles.
I'm also a citizen of the USA, so I was able to apply via PassportOnline. Having said this, I'm currently a degree student in Japan, which does not allow for applications through PassportOnline. There is a separate process for countries that don't have access to PassportOnline, so if you're also in this situation, please contact the Irish embassy that serves your region. [In my case, I'm trying to make it work via USA. I'll report back about whether it was successful.]
During the initial application:

• Photo submission
• Basic information submission
• Payment

After that, they confirm that the payment is successful and an application number is created. They ask for the following:

1. Identity Verification Form (They will email the form to you in the confirmation email, and it is also available to be opened from the webpage) **Please note that the link in the confirmation email is only valid for 14 days and can only be accessed a maximum of 5 times**.
   1. The form must be signed by a witness that qualifies on Ireland's list of appropriate witnesses. Since this is something you also have to do during the FBR application process for the photos, this won't be new to you.
2. Documents to mail with your application:
   1. Cover Page
   2. Identity Verification Form (witnessed)
   3. Birth Certificate
   4. **Documents to Verify Citizenship**

Because the link can only be accessed 5 times, I'm hesitant to open it now because I am unable to print it now. Because of my US-Japan situation, my family in the USA will need to print it and help me get it signed/witnessed. They can't help me until later this week.
I'm wondering what the full list of documents needed to verify my citizenship is. Is my original FBR certificate sufficient? Do I need to include all of the family documents that the FBR returned to me as well? If anyone has successfully applied and has the list of required documents, please let me know! I'll update this thread with the full process once I've been through it!

I'm not sure if this is okay to post here but I wrote this to help me with some sad emotions I was going through. Tell me if you liked it!
Have you ever felt like you were, devoid of emotion, carefulness, dedication, love, attention, direction?
In the eyes of the world
it's a state of emotion that all humans have felt since the dawn of love
it's funny to think that my problems are so little
I am so small, insignificant
in a state of wishful existence
in a world of blissful ignorance
after leaving the gates of childhood, the door behind eternally locked by time
and that's when I wonder
is my life emotionless? careless? lazy? hateful? ignorant? unguided?
do these emotions ever disappear? or do they simply change?
Is there a veil before my eyes? is my questioning misinformed by the cadence of my hormones?
emotion is the state of my body that tells me how to feel.
the feeling to care of her
the feeling of wanting to stay by her side
the feeling of impatience
the feeling of butterflies fleeting
the feeling to be noticed
the feeling before going on an adventure
it's all too much for me.
I sit here and wait for a savior
the one that my hormones chose
the one that my brain decided
the one that my heart demanded
exasperated, I sigh in relief
trying to subdue the feeling
I tell my friends
I want to sleep
I want to never wake up
But I also tell them
see you tomorrow
see you next week
bye!
And sometimes I wonder if that's the last thing I will say to them
wishing for it to be over
this feeling
this common chemical reaction
it feels so special
but at the same time, it's not.

You Matter to Her in a Way No One Else Could
When you died and were reborn, you became divine. You were love, and you were violence, and you were my miracle. A God sprung forth from the decaying machinery of your broken body. Koishi, the God of Love and Hate—have mercy on us all.
Down by the shore of one of the great Lunar seas, there sat a lonely shack thatched with feathers. Inside, there was a massive wani no less than eight leagues long… and her infant son. To that crocodile who had never known true familial love, that delicate little child—who cooed and smiled at his mother’s every move—was nothing less than a miracle. Such a delicate life in her claws, who knew nothing but unconditional love for his mother—to the crocodile, it was proof there was still good in the world.
She was tired, but the crocodile forced herself to stay awake. There was something she needed to do—a memory she wanted to share with the most important person in her life.
So, with all the caution and tenderness in the world, she picked up her child with her jaws and coaxed him into her throat pouch. The newborn child, perhaps having some shared instinct with his crocodilian mother, did not cry or struggle. Instead, he let out a giggle as he poked his head out from between his mother’s jagged teeth. With a snort, the dragon climbed out of her thatch hut, and crawled along the shore, drawing a meandering trail in the sand as she went.
When she reached the point where the water came to shore in gentle waves, the crocodile set herself down in the sand, letting the waves wash in and lick at her child in gentle sprays. Her child giggled as the Lunar sea’s tickled him with its pure waters, and as he did, his mother couldn’t help but feel at peace.
Nothing. Nothing at all would be able to take this from her.
Her miracle.
Toyohime opened her eye to clear blue skies.
She flexed her fingers, and instead of feeling the cold steel of the ship she started to tear apart, she felt so many tiny pebbles, warmed by their time in the sun. Sand? She brought a fistful of the stuff into her vision, before letting it fall through her fingers and run down her face. It was too real to be a dream.
Toyohime sat up to observe her surroundings. As far as the eye could see, there were infinite stretches of sand collected into wind-swept dunes that obscured the horizon. It was hot. Unbelievably so for what was supposedly the void. She felt a gentle gust of warm wind pass by her and toss her hair. This place… this impossible place… was she dead?
She rose to her feet, fighting biting aches and pains from her battle not too long ago. No—not dead. Somehow, she had survived—there was no other explanation. And as she looked down to assess the damage she had taken, her suspicions were only confirmed. Her right arm was missing, and in its place was nothing but a healed stump. The nasty cuts and bruises she had received in the fighting had all healed over for the most part, the only evidence they happened at all being residual scars that were yet to disappear. The ground was covered in dried blood. She must’ve been laying here in this sand trap for hours.
She brought her free arm, completely healed, up to the general space where her right eye was to find an arrow still protruding from it. Wrapping her fingers around the shaft, Toyohime tore it out in a fluid motion, causing the wound to reopen and drip blood onto the sands below. But, through some miraculous action, it was mere moments before the flow of blood stopped as the wound healed shut. Her right eye was still inoperable, but this healing ability was downright uncanny, even for a god.
She flexed her fingers. It felt like there was a hole in her head from which memories and feelings poured out. The mystery of how she got here, who she killed, and whether she could even trust her own senses had no answer—Toyohime knew she herself had made sure of that. She supposed there was a good reason. The less she knew, the better. That was something she could trick herself into believing.
Though no matter how much she forced herself to forget, she had the horrible feeling she had done something unforgivable—something she would kill over. In a sea of atrocities however, she could hardly even begin to suppose what that might have been. Maybe the heat was starting to fry her brain.
After spending a few minutes snapping the arrows lodged in her body by their shafts, Toyohime looked to the horizon, and then up. Ahead, there was a massive sand dune, no less than five times her height, and beyond the crest—a black pillar of smoke. Toyohime was not alone.
As she made her way up the shifting incline, Toyohime got to thinking about her next course of action. If this wasn’t a hallucination, then it most certainly had to be some extension of Koishi's will. Land in an impossible space… the creation of something impossible like that could only be a factor of a deteriorating mind, or God. And Toyohime had no time to consider the possibility of a crumbling psyche—not when she had a duty left unfulfilled.
But then… that would mean this was the paradise of Koishi’s mind. Surely, by her side is where she would find her salvation. She had already come to terms with it—that there was nothing left for her in the old world. Koishi could pervert and corrupt reality in whatever twisted ways she wanted—as long as it was the creation of her heart, it would be sufficient. Everything beyond that was not worth saving to the former princess.
… But that also meant there would be more enemies. More people she had to kill. She was ready. Ready to kill and ready to die in the name of love.
And as she planted her boot upon the peak of that sand dune, she saw the whole world become bare before her. A fair distance away was the crashed wreck of a golden ship, releasing plumes of black smoke as it burnt away. From this distance, it was difficult to make out any finer details, but she was sure the occupants had escaped. Satori was resourceful and stubborn, if nothing else. Dying in a crash was an impossibility.
She then traced a line from the ship through the shifting sands—to a city upon the horizon. Massive towers of glass and steel pushing against the sky, half buried in the sand, bending light around them as they reflected the intense heat of the sun. It gave the sight an unnatural fuzziness, as if the city was threatening to disappear at any moment.
As she traced the decaying visage of those buildings upwards, she saw a thin line reach beyond and into the sky. The line separated into two before converging back on itself. Above the city, etched upon the sky itself, was a pitch black gap in reality, opened and filled with so many eyes. And above still, the object of Toyohime’s desires and her sole driving factor—Koishi Komeiji.
Though the God’s eye was open, as well as the myriad collection of smaller eyes and drooling jaws that had lined every square inch of her squirming appendages, it was hard to tell if she was awake or conscious. Toyohime knew Koishi best, and if she had any guess as to what Koishi had been doing in the time they spent apart, it was receding back into the numbing comfort of her own mind. Even now, Toyohime figured she was still dreaming, avoiding the cruel weight of her responsibility. What manifested outside of her mind must’ve been some sort of twisted runoff.
Down there, hidden in the dunes, Toyohime knew there were those who would take this dream from Koishi. Those who would hurt Koishi. Those people would’ve done just as well to dig their own graves and build their own coffins. Because so long as Toyohime drew breath, she would protect Koishi with everything she could muster—that was her promise and the nature of her impossible, unconditional love.
Koishi was Toyohime’s second chance.
This time, one way or another, there would be no opportunity for a third.
Mima, on the other hand, had woken up quite a bit earlier than Toyohime had.
She had not suffered any fatal wounds or debilitating strikes leading up to the point where the reality around her started to crumble and distort—but she had briefly lost consciousness regardless. She figured that might’ve been a good thing; an action so absurd and so against everything she knew, perpetrated by an impossibly powerful being… even if a mere glimpse didn’t physically tear her mind to ribbons, she had no interest in trying to understand such a nonsensical event.
Mima awoke not in a desert, but in a grand sprawling city of seemingly human construction. Though the sun still hung overhead, the impossible hills and mountains of sand that caged the city in, always seemed to shift and move in the most calculated way… such that the sun was always put out. Caught in the shade, the city looked like it was in a perpetual night, in spite of the blinding yellow of the endless desert just beyond its limits.
Though that was the case, the city was far from dark. Street lamps, blinding neon signs, blinking traffic lights, apartments and houses with windows illuminated by the fluorescent lights within… It gave the impression the city was alive. It seemed exactly as a real bustling city at night, with its breathing and blinking—but there were no people. No matter how far Mima walked, no matter how many buildings she popped in, she would encounter no souls. She would find, in those buildings, immaculate setpieces filled with lived-in charm, hints and implications of life—but not people. Not even Yukari, who she wandered the streets in search of.
She recognized this place. This city—Tokyo. It couldn’t have possibly been, but it was the same Tokyo she grew up in, back before the Moonlight Descent and before the Kaiju. Before her chance meeting with the youkai who used to be her friend. This city, trapped in the middle of the desert, caught in an artificial night that obscured the flow of time—somehow it managed to be the perfect recreation of a long lost city, as if someone had taken a scalpel to the part of Mima’s brain that held onto the precious memories of her past life. It was comforting, being back in familiar territory, but it also carried along a pervasive uneasiness. The nostalgia said it was real, but the rational mind knew better than to buy into an impossible mirage—made all the more uneasy by the deathly silence of its streets.
After wandering around for a dozen minutes or more, Mima eventually came to find Yukari in a 24-hour fast food joint. She was sitting, out of her suit and miraculously healed, on a stool that faced the street outside, with her head down and a small pool of drool collecting at the point where the corner of her mouth met the countertop. Renko always said Maribel could fall asleep anywhere.
Mima floated back and forth around the gently snoring form of Yukari for a bit, considering her options. She changed back into her Renko form for a second, and after adjusting her hat a little, she reached over to tap Yukari on the shoulder… but then shied away. Glancing at Yukari, then back to her bag, she rummaged through its bottomless contents and pulled out a whole host of items: hand mirrors, makeup kits, two liter bottles of listerine, mints and peppermint breath spray and assorted beauty products.
She stole a quick glance back at Yukari to make sure she was asleep before going at it—in one go, she dumped every minty product she could into her mouth before swishing the unholy mixture in her mouth. It was not a moment later that she coughed out all of that liquid ice with a retch and a gag. Sheepishly, she turned her head to see if Yukari had woken up in all the commotion. Luckily, she was still knocked out something fierce. Mima might’ve guessed she was dead, if it weren’t for the occasional snore.
Undeterred, she opened a hand mirror and began to apply her makeup. Carefully. There was a subtle art to it—she only needed enough to hide any unsightly blemishes she might’ve gotten from her rather shut-in lifestyle as a ghost. Anything more, and Maribel was bound to notice Mima was purposefully fixing her appearance around her. None of that. Mima was trying for a more subliminal approach… It’s what worked in the past, after all.
Well, upon further thought, Mima figured “worked” was too strong a word. She did die before she saw any results, after all. But enough of that, Mima thought—now that she regained her memories, she’s finally gotten another shot. This being the apocalypse and all, she figured she should probably make it count.
She clicked close her portable hand mirror and, along with the rest of her stuff, threw it back into her field bag. She stole one last glance at Yukari, who was still sleeping soundly, before straightening her hat and clearing her throat.
“Maribel…” she said in a quiet, sing-song voice. She placed a hand on Yukari’s shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. “Maribel, wake up.”
No response. Mima pouted as she shook her around again. “Merry? It’s so scary around here—I need someone super strong and amazing by my side. Maybe we could hold hands?”
Nothing but more snoring. Mima’s expression fell. “... Okay, seriously. Wake up.”
“Don’t make me break out the big guns, Merry,” Mima said, digging through her bag and pulling out an airhorn. “I’ll do it. You think I’m bluffing?”
A tense beat passes. Mima stows away the airhorn. “... Ah, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do something like that to you. You’re too cute, hehe.”
“I’m not above this, though.” She reaches back into her bag and pulls out a spray bottle filled with water… before giving Yukari’s face a couple of quick spritzes.
That quiet, tranquil expression to Mima seemed almost a timeless representation of the relationship she shared with Maribel quickly contorted into one of disgust. After a moment of being pelted with spray after spray of water droplets, Yukari finally was roused from her sleep, a squinty, grouchy mess.
“Who..? Urgh…” She mumbled with a groan. When Yukari saw Renko, immaculately constructed before her with enough accuracy to convince her she came straight from her memories, she froze. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “... Renko?”
“Hehe… Yep, it’s me! Your best friend. Best girl-friend, even. That is, a girl who is also a friend. Not a girlfriend, you know? Aha… Unless? Kidding, kidding.” Mima flashed an easy smile. “Glad you’re awake. Hey, before you say anything else—how do I look? I look cute, right? I know we’re in the middle of saving the world and everything, but I’ve actually been spending a lot of time taking care of my appearance.”
As Mima continued to ramble on and Yukari continued to wake up, her expression made a slow and gradual pivot. Where at first Yukari couldn’t hide her bemusement from her face—as well as that strange pained expression someone would have, seeing a loved one they have long since finished mourning appear upon their doorstep—she eventually came to settle on an empty stare and a neutral, apathetic expression. It hurt Mima a little, seeing such a radical turn in her demeanor.
“Oh,” Yukari muttered. “It’s just you.”
Mima didn’t think she intended it, but there was a layer of latent annoyance in her words. Or maybe it was disappointment? A thousand years or more apart did a lot to shift their relationship. That much was clear—and it hurt.
Yukari took a moment to look Mima up and down. With a scoff and a roll of her eyes, she delivered an unceremonious answer. “You look fine.”
Mima sighed in response. “Hey, I’ll take it.”
“More importantly…” As Yukari continued, she craned her neck around to absorb every detail of her surroundings: everything from the light fixtures above to the tables that were so meticulously set and prepared. “... Where are we?”
Her eyes naturally gravitated toward the front counter and the kitchen section that was just behind—meticulously wrapped burgers and fresh fries, set underneath heat lamps… it was as if they were all made recently. But that wasn’t even the strangest detail Yukari’s eyes were able to pick out. Upon one of the tables was a tray, filled with half eaten food—as if the patrons ceased to exist in the middle of their meal. This was beyond a mere liminal space, where it gave the impression of once being a place where people gathered—it was closer in relation to the scene of an ongoing disaster, where people had left in a hurry.
In that way, it didn’t carry much of the surreal quality of a place no longer meant for humans—it more so felt like a place with a cursed history, its sinister and mysterious narrative etched into its skin and flesh through the vestiges of human presence. Mima could tell, being a ghost herself, there was more to this place than the physical construction. As to what ‘more’ was, she could not place.
She could tell Yukari was thinking something similar by the way she walked around and took in the feeling of the place. Her posture was rigid and cautious, but not necessarily ready and waiting for danger. There was a quiet dread to the things that weren’t, but should’ve been.
“I’m trying to figure that out myself,” Mima replied, following Yukari around with her arms folded behind her back. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but… I think we’re back in Tokyo.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Yukari replied. She walked over to the table with the food and traced a finger across its top. No dust clung to the surface of her finger, as if the tabletop had recently been cleaned. She brought the back of her palm close to the food. It was still radiating just a little bit of heat, as if it had been freshly served. “That’s the part that scares me.”
“... Assuming this is all very much real, this must be Koishi’s doing,” Yukari declared, taking a moment to look down at herself. As she flexed her fingers, her eyes narrowed. Mima figured she might’ve just realized she had been healed and mysteriously back to her usual outfit. She still looked younger and weaker than she once was, but there was an undeniable, albeit subtle increase in the vitality she seemed to convey. As Yukari’s eyes wandered to the empty city street outside, Mima couldn’t help but notice that expression—that idle, faraway gaze that looked like Yukari had trapped herself in a vivid daydream. She couldn’t help but realize how much Maribel had changed—and yet stayed the same.
“Whatcha thinking, Merry?” Mima tried, shuffling up to Yukari’s side.
“Yukari.”
“Oh. Right. Ha, that’s my bad. My bad…”
“I’m thinking: why Tokyo specifically?” With a wave of her hand, Yukari opened a gap next to her. Through that little tear in reality was a bird’s eye view of the whole city, as well as the infinite desert that surrounded it. “... There must be some significance to this location, but I couldn’t possibly imagine what it could be. Not right now, knowing what we know.”
“Hey, I grew up in Tokyo, you know? Maybe it has something to do with that? And… y’know, we were teaching in Tokyo before…” Mima gestured vaguely around herself. “... Everything, I guess. Maybe Koishi’s reacting to our memories.”
“Could be. Could just as easily be something related to Koishi. Could be nothing at all.” The view through the gap eventually fizzled out, leaving nothing but the inky blackness of the pocket dimension Yukari held dominion over. She let out a sigh before stitching the gap closed with a wave of her hand. “I’d suggest we keep on moving. Collect as much information as we can about this place. But only what we need—the plan is still largely the same. There’s no telling when she will appear again. Best be as quick about it as we can.”
“Oh. Uh… Alright. That’s cool.”
“... What?”
“Hm?”
“What’s wrong? You disagree?”
“Oh no, ah…” A sheepish grin crawled across Mima’s face. “I was just thinking about how much you’ve changed, is all. It’s just… you know, a huge city missing all of its people is pretty mysterious, huh? Don’t you want to do more exploring? Poke around a bit and take in the sights? Like we used to—just one last time?”
There was an unsettling period of silence where Yukari stared straight through Mima with that flat look. She averted her eyes for a passing moment. When Yukari returned her gaze to Mima, it was steely and cold. “No. Neither of us are kids anymore. We have duties and responsibilities that we can not abandon. Not for anything.”
Yukari brushed past Mima. The gesture wasn’t very rough at all, but Mima felt it come at her hard. As Yukari opened the door, she looked back at Mima and gestured to her to follow.
“Let’s go.”
Orin did not want much from life.
There was Satori, her master, who she cared about deeply. There was Okuu, her best friend, who she loved. There was Koishi, the younger sister of her master, who she felt obligated to take care of. And of course, there was her job of transporting corpses, which she could do endlessly and without tiring. Those things more or less encompassed everything she cared about—Orin was a simple person.
So as she crawled out the emergency hatch located at the top of the ship her master had so recklessly buried into a sand dune, she couldn’t help but feel so hopelessly out of her depth. With a groan, she hoisted herself over the lip of the hatch before losing her balance and tumbling over.
As she tumbled downward, bumping her head against every little edge the ship had on her way down, the visor to her suit cracked and then shattered. But as she flopped down into the warm sand, her arms and legs spread in a state of absolute fatigue, she couldn’t really bring herself to care about the warning tones in her helmet—or the fact she was able to breathe the air here, in what used to be the void. Frankly, all she could think about was how much she wanted to go home.
“Orin! Are you okay?” A familiar voice called from somewhere outside her field of vision. It was followed by the hasty clattering of boots on metal as they no doubt clambered down the ship in a hurry.
All Orin could offer in response was a weak grunt and the extension of a thumbs up.
“Are… are you insane?” Another voice called soon after, all breathless and hoarse. It cracked with exertion, as if it had already been worn out by so much screaming. “Satori, what form of devil possessed you to do that? We could’ve all died!”
Satori, of course, didn’t respond. Not before she entered Orin’s field of view, her own helmet long since thrown away. Her face was etched with a rare look of concern, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief when she saw Orin manage a weak smile. Wordlessly, Satori jostled off the smashed helmet from Orin’s suit and brushed away any remaining debris… before pulling her into a tight embrace.
Orin, dazed and shocked from the crash, could manage little else than to rest her head upon her master’s shoulders as she was pulled in. But through whatever stores of energy she had left, she managed to raise her arms and wrap them around in loose reciprocation.
“I’m okay,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”
Satori pulled back from the hug, but stayed kneeling by Orin’s side. Cautiously, she looked to the horizon, as if she had caught a vanishing glimpse of something stalking them from behind the shifting sands. She extended an elbow for Orin to grab on to. “Let’s go. Can you stand?”
“I… I think so,” Orin mumbled, hooking one of her arms around Satori’s elbow and placing a hand on her shoulder for support. Her master lifted, and in response Orin tried her best to stumble onto her feet, with mixed results. As she straightened herself out with the help of Satori, she heard her bones shift and crackle in strange ways—followed by an absolute lightning strike of localized pain in the leg and the fuzzy static that came to replace it.
After a sharp intake of breath and a pained wince, Orin settled into a decidedly unconvincing posture—she plastered a smile on her face and shifted all of her weight onto the other leg in a poor imitation of nonchalance, but Satori’s face only got graver. It broke Orin’s heart. For a moment, Orin tried to separate herself from her master so she could stand on her own—but Satori only squeezed her in closer, as if she would’ve lost Orin the second she let go.
That didn’t surprise Orin much. She knew better than anyone that the events one year ago were still fresh in her master’s mind. Even now, it haunted her every action, and now the consequences were starting to catch up with everyone involved. But to Orin, that didn’t matter. It never did—not so long as Satori was her master, and Orin was her pet. Satori could march to the deepest pit of Hell, pick a fight with a God, oppose reality itself… and Orin would march along right beside her, no matter what.
Patchouli, on the other hand, did not share the same sentiment. She marched up to the two, at least temporarily uncaring of the fantastical environment they found themselves in, and went straight to airing out her grievances.
“Recklessly engaging with Toyohime like that, against all better logic… one day, and this day might very well come sooner than you think, your obsession with that cursed woman will hurt someone you care about,” Patchouli snapped. As she looked to Orin, whose body was riddled with evidence of blunt trauma, her expression softened. “... It already has.”
“As if we had any other choice. It was our best shot to kill her, once and for all,” Satori replied, stone-faced and cold. “... Besides, let Orin speak for herself. As if you know what she does and doesn’t wish for.”
“... Orin wasn’t the only person who got hurt. Or killed.”
“It just so happens that Eirin conveniently falls outside my definition of ‘people I care about.’ I fail to see the issue.” Satori snorted with disgust, as if offended by the mere implication. Orin wanted to speak up and cut between the fighting, but couldn’t find the strength to oppose her own master. “That aside, who says I was the one who got her killed? She got herself killed, following her own incomprehensible mess of half-baked ideas and strategies. What are you coming at me for?”
“How could you be so cold toward someone like her? Especially since we were all fighting out there together, as comrades? Have you no shame?”
“I’ve no love for her. Not after what she did to my sister.” Satori stared straight into Patchouli’s eyes. Sometimes her master was like this—staring straight ahead through a person, as if judging the content of their soul itself. Sometimes, this was literally the case, given that she made liberal use of her opened third eye. “We might be fighting beside each other, but we’re fighting for completely different things. Yukari, Eirin, Kaguya, even you and I—we’re all fighting for something different. Those are just the facts. Just as it was a fact that Koakuma had darkness in her heart. It’s that kind of fact.”
“How cynical. Aren’t we friends?”
Satori fixed Patchouli with a steady glare as she thought through her answer. Even with an open eye, Orin found her master’s thought process difficult to parse.
“... No. We aren’t,” Satori settled. “It’s not a secret—I’m fighting to get my sister back. I’m fighting to kill the person who turned her into a monster. I’m fighting to protect my family. You are doing none of those things—you’re fighting for a more abstract reason: protecting the world, or preventing human suffering, or whatever other justification you assign to your actions. It’s admirable, but recognize that It’s only by convenience that we’re here, helping each other out.”
“... Is that right?” Patchouli muttered under her breath. “Then if it came between Yukari, or Eirin, or me, or anyone else… and your family. Who would you choose?”
Silence.
“It’s best to be honest with ourselves. It saves us the heartache.”
“I see.”
In the silence that came after, the atmosphere seemed to become heavier. Orin spent each passing beat being suffocated by the pressure. Her eyes darted from Patchouli to her master, and then back again.
“Er…” Orin started. “Let’s ah… could we just figure out what we’re going to do next, maybe? Without fighting—that would be nice.”
“Good plan, Orin,” Satori said. Though strangely enough, she wouldn’t take her eyes off of Patchouli. “I’m not quite sure what we would do without you.”
Patchouli looked away. Orin couldn’t help but feel vaguely responsible—though the second the thought even popped into mind, Satori squeezed a little tighter, as if in reassurance.
“... There’s no use in arguing,” Patchouli said with a heavy sigh. “Or rather, it’s a subject for later, when we aren’t all in danger. For now, I agree—we should figure out our next steps.”
The guns had long since run quiet.
Those satellites—their powerful bodies forged by the greatest minds, cast in the strongest metals, and mounted with the fiercest weapons humanity could muster—how could they have possibly matched the horror of God’s wrath? They could never, and for their hubris, their bodies and their souls were scattered and broken as a million glittering lights upon the ocean.
Those were the kinds of things Kaguya Houraisan thought about as she sat beside a flickering fire, her only source of light deep in the darkness of a desert night, not a few meters from the turned and battered wreckage of the CNS Beyond the Sun. In the void, It was battered by unseen force, turned three times—and upon the fourth, struck down and consumed by the void, as was the divine will of God. To its crew, it might have seemed like nothing less than a castigation of divine nature—but Kaguya knew it was nothing more than the temper tantrum of a child. As infant children must necessarily cry, Koishi must necessarily kill—it was her unconscious will.
Woe upon humanity, as its greatest accomplishment was brought low and made worthless before a child. Her own child. What a dubious honor it was—being the mother of such a terrifying, omnipresent killer.
Kaguya was on the ship when it was attacked by Toyohime. She was there to see Eirin march on to meet her. And she was there to see her die. It didn’t bother Kaguya too much—after all, she had watched Eirin die countless times. She will likely watch her die countless more, before all is said and done. But it was there, seized by the temporary shock, that Kaguya lost consciousness. When she woke up, she was deep within the fresh wreckage of humanity’s greatest weapon—alone. On what happened to her crew, and why Kaguya was spared, she could only make guesses.
With no direction and no plan, Kaguya spent what felt like hours wandering the claustrophobic halls of that great metal cage of a ship. But she was alone. Alone in such a way that not even the impression of humanity remained. Even the spot where she saw three men become atomized by Toyohime’s attack, which had burnt dark impressions of their silhouettes into the steel, was mysteriously void of any sign they were killed at all. The damage remained, but the people were gone—erased from existence in a way only God could manage.
When she eventually emerged from the dark recesses of the ship into a darker night, with nothing but the stars above and the inexplicable ground below, she could do nothing but start a simple fire. The night was cold, and she had a feeling it would be long. Warmth would be needed.
This, alone and huddled by a dying fire, must have been the end. Kaguya shifted closer to the flame, and held her knees closer to her chest. She didn’t know what to do. When her own daughter had sought her out, she didn’t know what to say. All she could do was recognize—that in pursuit of an easy life, she had made things so much worse. She wondered if it was too late to make things right between herself and Koishi. If Kaguya had looked up to her daughter now, and said sorry, would she hear? Would she care?
She wasn’t sure. And she wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out.
As she stared at the stars above, Kaguya heard the shuffling of boots displacing the sand. The sounds came in an irregular, halting motion. When it came to a stop, Kaguya lowered her gaze to the figure who stood at the edge of her fire’s light.
A moon rabbit in a pilot suit, all ripped up, tattered, and blackened by combat. In the gaps of her suit, her skin had melted away from severe burns—and froze in place, creating large patches of gangrenous tissue that covered her body. As Kaguya’s eyes drifted downward, she noticed a patch of body that had a view to the other side. Somehow, by some miracle of medicine, the wound remained stable and closed.
Her face was concealed by her helmet, tinted and patterned by a spider web of cracks, but by the way she stood, so still and lopsided, Kaguya had the impression of an empty gaze just behind the facade.
The moon rabbit carried in her left hand a revolver, its chambers empty and on display as the mechanism that connected the grip to the top half of the hung loose. In her other hand, was an ax, splintered in half at the handle from excessive use and its blade caked in a thick layer of blood.
Without a word, the moon rabbit collapsed into a heap by the fire.
Kaguya rushed to the moon rabbit’s side and, upon removing her helmet, froze.
Atonement—she wondered if it was even possible.
Previous Chapter:
Interim Chapter 11

So I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a few years ago and my husband was there when I got the diagnosis. The last couple of years since having it I have slowly been getting worse and my husband doesn’t seem to be helping me with this at all. I tell him time after time that I am tired and my overall health hasn’t been well and he doesn’t help at all. I was in the hospital a few weeks ago and the whole time in the waiting room he’s complaining and wanting to leave me there alone he did end up leaving midway through and when he comes back he’s still just complaining about being there with me. When we get home that night as I was able to leave with him we get home at 1 in the morning and he still didn’t help me by taking out our dogs even though I very much am still not feeling up to it. (We live in an apartment and have to walk them)I’m tired of it and living like this but I know I can’t leave because I can’t afford health insurance at this moment I am still in college and just only started. At this point idk what to do I know it’s shallow of me to only stick around for the insurance but there’s so much more that I have dealt with him that I honestly don’t feel bad. I’ve tried to get him to go to marriage counseling many time but he won’t. Can I get any advice on what I should do?

So since I don't feel like risking anything by talking too much but I grow my own various gourmet mushrooms, I have lots of plants vegetables etc. Recently tried amanita after not having anyone really trustworthy or reliable to procure any other mushrooms. They've helped me and my dad dig ourselves out of our own damn graves and come to terms with what's happened blah blah spiritual experience blah blah tl;Dr live in Georgia and wondering if there's people I should talk with or places I should go to find some . Amanita is great and all for like maintenance or I guess daily use but it can only be compared as same introspectiveness and spiritual experience in lower doses also with some mild euphoria. It's only been a good time when I simmered cracker dry ones in a tea kettle for 15 mins after they have been decarbed in the oven at 170 for 45 mins. Amanita regalis is much closer to psilocybin and multiple people that have taken real shrooms and other psychedelics multiple times agree. But cultivation is still not very well known I've done a few methods but I'm afraid of maybe spreading a parasitic organism that might be harmful to the natural ecosystem. I did just a couple viable trees using the best method but other than that I'm waiting on this rain to go looking for some mushrooms chanterelles and "others"😉😅 let me know if anyone has any useful info PLEASE lol other than that I guess it's up to lady luck now🤞

So I recently went through all of AOT, and it quickly became my favorite series of all time, and one of the things that really helped me get into it was the soundtrack. As an aspiring musician myself who wants to make music for anime and video games in almost exactly the same style as AOT, this soundtrack is absolutely amazing!!! I've had it on pretty much on a loop since finishing the series a few weeks ago, and I kinda just wanted to gush about it for a bit, lol. So without further ado, here are my 3(ish) favorite tracks from each season!
Season 1:

• Guren No Yumiya. I'm gonna try to keep this to just the actual OSTs and not the openings, but I absolutely have to mention this one, it's absolutely iconic. I've been listening to this song for way longer than I have been into this series, and it's become a favorite of mine, it's just so goddamn catchy.
• The Reluctant Heroes. Am I the only one who thinks of Levi when they hear this song? Sure, it plays when he shows up for the first time, but even if it hadn't, the lyrics of this song fit him perfectly. It manages to be epic while still having a bittersweet feeling of loss and regret to it, and it works really well for me.
• Counter Attack-Mankind. There are so many good moments when this song plays in the entire series, and it always lands for me. It just has this feeling of hope to it that is really uplifting and makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, these characters stand a chance in this bleak and oppressing world, it's extremely powerful and I love it.
• DOA. Man, this song is good. That guitar riff is absolutely amazing, the vocals are a perfect call to action, it's catchy, it's fun, and it never fails to get me absolutely hyped for what's happening.

Season 2:

• Shinzou wo Sasageyo! Probably my favorite of the Linked Horizon OPs, this song is so goddamn good. It's a perfect opening track for this series if you ask me, and is only topped by one I'll talk about later. I'd be very surprised if any fan of this series couldn't sing along with the chorus, it's memorable, it's epic, and it's just absolutely amazing.
• Barricades. Probably my favorite vocal track in the entire series, this song takes what I said about Counter Attack-Mankind and how it has that feeling of hope to it, and perfectly combines it with DOA's amazing riffs and hype power. The moment when this starts playing again at the end of S4P2 had me jumping out of my seat in excitement. Also, I kinda associate this song's lyrics with Armin for some reason and idk why, I just feel like they fit him really well.
• YouSeeBIGGIRL. Now, I know this song is probably on everyone's lists, but that's for a reason. It's huge, it's epic, and it never fails to get you hyped. The vocals in the second half are absolutely beautiful, and its use in the anime is perfect.

Season 3:

• attack ON titan . Now, I could've talked about this song in Season 1 because I love that version, but I think the Season 3 version took an already perfect song and made it even more grand and epic. Everything about this track, from the guitar, to the vocals (With the extra solo vocalist in this version raising everything up even more), to the new piano intro, literally everything about this track is absolutely perfect, and it's probably the best song I've heard from any anime I've seen.
• Before Lights Out. This song is so fucking epic, it gets you perfectly hyped for what's fixing to happen and it's absolutely amazing. The lyrics are simple and yet perfect for the situation, and just in general it's a perfect track.
• Apple Seed. Now, Season 3's soundtrack has so many good remixes and orchestral arranges of older tracks, and this one stands out above the rest because the new vocals are just so goddamn good. It takes one of my favorite tracks from Season 2 and makes it even better.

Season 4:

• My War. Now, I know I said I'm gonna try to stick with the OSTs and not ramble about the OPs too much, but I have to talk about Season 4's OPs because they're both fucking amazing. I'll be the first one to admit that this song had to grow on me at first, but when it did, man it's catchy. It manages to strike this perfect balance between being creepy and being an absolute banger, and on top of that it's just a very complex piece musically, especially in the chorus. You've got like 5 different moving melody lines between the almost children-esque singing of the choir, the sort of war chanting of the main vocals, and then the violins come in on the repeat and add this amazing counterpoint to all of that, and then you've got the drums and guitar under that and it seems like it should be busy and cluttered, but it's mastered so perfectly that it all just works.
• The Rumbling. Now, even though I just wrote a mini-essay about My War, The Rumbling is actually my favorite of all the OPs. I think having a full-on metal OP for Attack on Titan works so well, and the lyrics are part of why this works so well for me. These lyrics perfectly represent Eren in Season 4 to the point to where they actually helped me figure out his motivations ahead of time and what his plan was. Especially that chorus, the whole "If I lose it all, slip and fall, I will never look away" line gives me chills. I could probably make a whole post breaking down this song and why it's so great, but that's for another day.
• Akuma No Ko. Easily my favorite of the EDs, this song is absolutely beautiful on a level I think only Gurenge from Demon Slayer can compete with for me, and it even blows that song out of the water. Everything about this song is perfect, but I think the chorus is the best part. The way the entire song builds up to it is absolute perfection, and then you get that drop with the amazing vocals and it works so goddamn well. This is also another one where the lyrics perfectly represent Eren, probably even better than The Rumbling does if you ask me.
• Ashes on the Fire. Easily my favorite of the new orchestral tracks, this song is absolutely epic, it's a perfect battle theme, and that first time it plays in S4E1, it gave me goosebumps. It builds up to the drop perfectly, and it doesn't stop building for a second until it's over.
• Splinter Wolf. This one has to be on here just for that final sequence of the new episode, that has to be one of the most exciting scenes in the entire anime for me, and I absolutely cannot wait to see the finale!

​
But that's my ramblings, how about you guys? Sorry for the long post lol, I'm really passionate about this stuff and this series has such an amazing soundtrack that I just had to give some love to.

I don't use reddit often, but I want to make new friends. I stream at www.twitch.tv/vianadota and I wanna invite everyone to come watch me callibrate my account and to be friends! I'm a Brazilian personal trainer, 37 years of age and I have played dota since the beginning of dota 1. I have never been great because I gave some emphasis to other things, and because I'm not as talented as the dota gods. I was a legend player when from what i remember there wasn't an immortal rank, and I have been back for a few years now, and I'm going to callibrate my new account this month. If you wanna come and give me some tips or maybe learn from me if you're a beginner, because after all, i'm a veteran with 20 years on and off experience... Come and say hello to me! I usually stream in English, but will speak portuguese which is my native language now and then when other Brazilian people come over. Come and let's have some fun together either while I focus on my ranks or by watching dota pro games, maybe some old g games as well! let's go!

1. What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games (ex: resolution, FPS, settings) or programs you will be using.

• Getting this pc for school work and occasional games, i mostly play FPS like apex Legneds, etc, and AAA games. ResouResolutionltion would be 1440 p and medium settings as i want to maximize the span for pc to last a long time

2. What is your maximum PRE-TAX budget before rebates and shipping?

• $2500

3. When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

• planning to in mid-April, waiting for x3d cards

4. What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ex: toweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

• OS, Tower

5. If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? How old are they? Brands and models are appreciated.

• Resuing Monitor, Keyboard, headset, mouse

6. Will you be overclocking (ex: CPU/GPU/RAM)? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line?

• no

7. Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSDs, mass HDDs, Wi-Fi / Bluetooth, VR, VirtualLink, tensor cores, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc.)

• Bluetooth would be nice

8. Do you have any specific case preferences (ex: mITX/mATX/mid-towefull-tower sizes, styles, colours, window or not, LED lighting, etc.), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

• not a fan of RGB, prefer performance over it,

9. Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? Note: some post-secondary students can get Windows 10 for free at OnTheHub or through their school's IT software distribution department.

• Yes

10. Will you be upgrading this PC in the future (ie: will you swap out better parts later on or will you build an entirely new tower later)? If so, when?

• yes but not in like 4 - 5 years

11. Do you have a brand preference? (ex: AMD/Intel for CPUs, AMD/NVIDIA for video cards, etc.)

• AMD for CPU

12. What are the specs of your old PC / laptop? Do you want to see if it can be upgraded instead? If so, paste its build from PCPartPicker here.

• Older laptop had R9 5900 hx and rtx 3060

13. Extra info or particulars:

• Replace this text with answer.

This is the build i was thinking to get and please suggest fans for the case. If it is in my budget, i can switch to AIO for CPU.Thanks
[PCPartPicker Part List](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/list/txpYsL)
​
TypeItemPrice
:----:----:----
**CPU** [AMD Ryzen 7 7700X 4.5 GHz 8-Core Processor](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/WfqPxamd-ryzen-7-7700x-45-ghz-8-core-processor-100-100000591wof) $444.00 @ Canada Computers
**CPU Cooler** [Noctua NH-D15 chromax.black 82.52 CFM CPU Cooler](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/84MTwP/noctua-nh-d15-chromaxblack-8252-cfm-cpu-cooler-nh-d15-chromaxblack) $139.94 @ Amazon Canada
**Motherboard** [Gigabyte B650 AORUS ELITE AX ATX AM5 Motherboard](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/WBwypg/gigabyte-b650-aorus-elite-ax-atx-am5-motherboard-b650-aorus-elite-ax) $299.99 @ Canada Computers
**Memory** [Corsair Vengeance 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL36 Memory](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/PNKKHx/corsair-vengeance-32-gb-2-x-16-gb-ddr5-6000-cl36-memory-cmk32gx5m2d6000z36) $167.88 @ Canada Computers
**Storage** [Samsung 980 Pro 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/DDWBD3/samsung-980-pro-1-tb-m2-2280-nvme-solid-state-drive-mz-v8p1t0bam) $144.94 @ shopRBC
**Video Card** [Gigabyte GAMING OC Radeon RX 6750 XT 12 GB Video Card](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/RbYmP6/gigabyte-radeon-rx-6750-xt-12-gb-gaming-oc-video-card-gv-r675xtgaming-oc-12gd) $584.29 @ Amazon Canada
**Case** [Corsair 4000D Airflow ATX Mid Tower Case](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/bCYQzy/corsair-4000d-airflow-atx-mid-tower-case-cc-9011200-ww) $119.99 @ Best Buy Canada
**Power Supply** [Corsair RM850x (2021) 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply](https://ca.pcpartpicker.com/product/26rRsY/corsair-rm850x-2021-850-w-80-gold-certified-fully-modular-atx-power-supply-cp-9020200-na) $179.50 @ Vuugo
*Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts*
**Total** **$2080.53**
Generated by [PCPartPicker](https://pcpartpicker.com) 2023-03-22 01:42 EDT-0400

This happened in the final few weeks of my senior year. I was getting ready to graduate, and trying to decide if I should pass the reins to Amy 3, Pepper or Hannah the eviscerator. I'd undecorated my room, and was getting some studying done for finals, up way past my bedtime when there was a tap tap tap at my window. I looked to see a figure silhouetted against the dark night. I pointed towards the front door and, with a sigh, went to meet the person who'd be keeping me up.
I should have known who it was when I grabbed the door knob and felt it was ice cold. Not realizing the value of these omens, I opened the door to see Dahlia the harpy. She was certainly in a state, hair a mess, cheaters molting, with streaks of mascara running down her face. Her eyes were red from crying. I mean redder than usual. In a pitiable voice she asked "are you Shannon?" I said that I was. She asked if I still let anyone come to me with any problem. I said I did. She said "we haven't met, but my name is Dahlia. Will you help me?"
I stood slackjawed for a moment until a sniff snapped me out of it. I took a moment and thought WWHD (what would Helga do) and decided I would. So I invited her in, grabbed two pints of butter pecan, and sat down. I grabbed two pints because I didn't want to split one with her, and because I knew I'd need my own to get through this one.
She took a bite and then just sorta melted back into her human form, and for a minute just cried. When the wailing subsided, I asked her what her trouble was.
"I'm pregnant." She said. I'll admit with some guilt that the first thing I felt was relief. I was afraid she'd killed an adventurer and was trying to dispose of the body, but by now I'd handled unexpected pregnancies enough to be back on familiar territory. Then through the sobs she explained "I haven't seen my boyfriend in six months and I got lonely and…"
The relief gave way to white hot rage. She'd taken the one guy who had shown any interest without also being either insane or with one foot in the grave, and she had the audacity to do this? "WWHD" I whispered to myself. I realized I'd crushed my pint in my fist and forced my hand to unclench.
Dahlia continued "and Ethan is coming out in two weeks for graduation and I don't know what to do. I could sleep with him and then say…"
"FUCK" I shouted and sprang to my feet. It took everything in me to not strangle that woman where she sat. She looked up at me alarmed and afraid and I shouted "I SPILLED MY ICE CREAM AND I NEED TO GET A TOWEL." I shouted this loud enough that a few curious heads peeked out of their dorms.
Hannah asked if I was ok as I walked by. She heard me muttering "don't kill her don't kill her" and asked if I wanted her to take over.
I replied "no, but I'm going to need you on standby for afterwards. For me." I made it back to my room, screamed as loud as I could into my pillow, got a towel, composed myself and returned to face the monster. I cleaned up the spilled ice cream and was about to sit down, but then I looked at her and my eye twitched and I said "HANG ON LET ME PUT THIS IN THE LAUNDRY."
I was something that resembled composed when I finally got back, less than three minutes after my outburst, and I was able to pick up my ice cream and resume the conversation. Now given its prevalence in the story, it may surprise you to find out that while I do like butter pecan, it isn't my favorite. I don't know why it became the universal comfort ice cream of my college days, but it seemed everyone liked it and it worked to cheer them up so I didn't question it. The rest of that pint, though, tasted like ashes.
Dahila explained that when she told the father she was pregnant and it was his he'd literally run away, blocked her on everything and last she'd heard he'd left the state. Given that Dahlia was an eye eating harpy this response was understandable but absolutely detestable.
"Deliah, honey." That word was a struggle to get out. "Why would you do that? The thing with Ethan?"
She looked up at me and there was only despair in her eyes. "Because if I don't I… I'm… I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what, honey?" I asked.
Her answer was a whisper. "I can't do it on my own." And in that moment I felt a little better about not slamming the door in her face. I let her comment hang for a minute and she continued. "My mom was a single mom, and I never knew my dad and she… I don't want to be like her." Her voice broke. "I can't be like her, Shannon. Please."
I realized what she wanted. She wanted my approval to go ahead with Ethan, for me to tell her that that was the right thing to do. And if she wanted me to tell her that, it meant that she knew it was the wrong thing. I considered my next words carefully. "Dahlia, you're a senior. You're about to graduate. What kind of degree did your mom have?"
"She got her GED when I was nine."
"Well there you go, honey. You're already miles ahead." I said, false sunshine in my voice.
"But what if…"
"Yeah, the job marker sucks right now. But you're Dahlia the h…" I was going to say harpy. "The mighty. You can do this."
"But Ethan… what if I need him?"
I wanted to pull a Hannah, to verbally give her the ol KA LI MA and verbally rip out her heart, but I held myself in check. "Dahlia, you know that this plan of yours is wrong." I said, a little more sternly than I meant to. She started to protest but I interrupted her. "It's also setting you up for misery. You'll live in fear. What if he finds out? What if he realizes? What if he does the math and realizes that you can't deliver at a full 40 weeks if you've only been pregnant 32 weeks. What if he does a DNA test for one of those heritage websites? He might not know, but you will, Dahlia. You'll always know, and it will eat you up inside. What happens if, in ten years, you get in a fight and get drunk and decide to tell him, just to see how much it hurts him? Because it will hurt him. It will kill him. Do you think he's earned that?"
She just cried. She cried and cried and cried. And finally, in the smallest voice, she whispered "no".
"Then you have to do the right thing."
"I can't!" She shouted, then cried some more. "Will you help me? Please?"
Come to Shannon with your problems! She'll always do whatever she can. I got the number from her, and with each digit I dialed I cursed the stupid reputation I'd cultivated. I almost came close to even considering to curse Helga for believing in me.
The phone rang, and with each a sprout of hope blossomed in my heart, hope that it would go to voice-mail. And at last my prayers were answered! "It's Ethan, leave a message. If this is mom, hi mom!" Beep. I hung up, relief flooding into me. I tossed my phone down on the table and took another bite of ice cream.
Then I heard it.
The wrrr wrrr wrrr of my phone vibrating on the table. I recognized the number. Dahlia looked at me, a silent plea in her eyes.
I answered it on speaker. "Hello?" I said.
"Hey, I missed a call from this number?" Ethan said, from his voice he'd been asleep.
"Hi is this Ethan? Hi, my name is Shannon McMatthews, I'm the RA of dorm 6." I waited a moment for a reply.
"Uh…"
Well I suppose that one was on me, I didn't give him much to go on. "Now don't worry" I was about to say that nothing was wrong but that wasn't the truth. "She's not hurt, but I'm here with Dahlia. She needs to talk to you."
I clicked it off speaker and slid my phone over to Dahlia, who took it in shaking hands. I said "I'll give you some privacy. Come knock on my door when you're done."
She did a few minutes later and from her expression I knew how the call went. I just took my phone back and hugged her. She didn't want to talk more, so I walked her back to her dorm, returned to my own and then cried my eyes out. I told Hannah what had happened, and then without explaining to them what was wrong, she got the other girls to come out. And I cried. Because it's me and I guess that's my thing. I realized I'd been burying my feelings. That I didn't want this to end with graduation.
Pepper started it. One by one they took turns telling me about how I'd helped them, about when I'd been there for them, about what I'd done for them. They told me they loved me, how much it meant to just know I was there. Rachel said she thought of me as a big sister. Amy 2 said I was like the mom she never had. Hannah said I'd given her a voice. Girls, if any of you are reading this, know that it was a pleasure and an honor to have been there for you. I remember every single thing you said, I've written it on my heart and the memory of that night is one I cherish dearly.
Classes the next day could fuck right off, though.
I talked to Dahlia a few months ago, and found she'd really turned herself around. Brayden (of course) is a really cute kid. Dahlia herself is doing great. She works for a non profit helping single mothers. She did a bunch of therapy and is working on her MSW. I asked if she was dating anyone and to my delight she said "not at the moment, but it's fine, I might want a man but I don't need one." She's also stopped eating eyes. Well, she's stopped eating HUMAN eyes. So that's a start.

TLDR: Cute girl at work I’ve been talking to is very adamant about having a kid. I want nothing to do with children but want a relationship anyways.
I (20 M) have been talking to this girl (20 F) for about 2 weeks, although I’ve known her for about 2 years. Things have been going fast, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing except that I work with her and my ex. At first I didn’t want to hop into another relationship since I’ve only been single for about 4 months but she’s hot and I’m depressed and lonely. Not to mention we work with my ex and I don’t feel like dealing with any drama that might come up.
I’m currently on vacation and we’ve been texting 24/7. I can’t wait until I get back so I can get lucky, bc the way we’ve been talking it seems like I got this in the bag. The day I get back we were talking about drinking and watching movies until bad decisions ensue.
The problem started last night, she got drunk and we were talking and she mentions she wants kids. This wasn’t new to me, she mentioned it before and I said I didn’t want any or maybe I’ll change my mind as I get older. Well a day passes by, she goes out again (not an alcoholic, just college students) and she’s on the topic again. This time it’s a bit more concerning, but I’m just thinking “it’s baby fever, she’s just not thinking reasonably, she just likes the idea of children”. As the conversation goes on she gets more and more aggressive with it. Saying stuff like “all that pain is worth it” “I want to do it naturally” etc. after I’m trying to get her to reasonably think about it like financial stability and responsibility of a child, having vacations before having to deal with children, etc.
Finally, after about 3 hours on this subject I responded with “I’m sorry, can we stop talking about this”. After this I pretty much just said gn bc it’s 1 am. I know I could’ve timed it better bc she probably thinks she scared me away but I’m tired and a little irritated bc she can’t take a hint.
I may be overthinking all of this bc she was drunk but if she’s this persistent while drunk, there’s gotta be a decent amount of truth behind it. Hopefully tomorrow it won’t be awkward but I have a feeling (overthinking) she just wants to get pregnant and if I’m not on board, it’s done for.
The conversation kinda weirded me out bc the way she was talking made it seem like she didn’t care that I didn’t want a kid and she was very persistent. I’m just worried that if/when we have sex, she’s gonna want me to finish inside and I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to tell her no. My ex and I didn’t have sex for the last 7 months of our relationship (part of the reason we broke up) so I’m kinda desperate at his point.
Honestly I’m just thinking of what would come after that like a weird environment at work, ruined potential relationship, my ex finding out (we still have a good relationship and I still care for her so I do care how she feels about me).
I also want to mention there have been plenty of green flags with this girl, it’s just this recent development has me worried.
I’m not asking whether I should pursue her or not bc my dick is doing all the thinking. I’m asking how I should go about making it clear I’m not gonna give her a kid while also building a healthy relationship with her or at least a friends with benefits kinda thing. I guess I’ll update when I go over to her place later this week.

I've been under the impression that jarvan has been powercrept out of viability for some time now. My attempts at playing the champ myself as well as the few times I've seen hi in action has backed this claim up for just as long. That is until about a day ago now, when I played him as a joke with my friend running river shen, with the plan being to be absolute menaces the entire game. I ended up with 15 kills that game. So we did it again. 15 kills. Both times I also only had 5 deaths. Next day we did it once more, this time we lost because we got outscaled but I still dropped 17 kills. Then I played him a bit more on my own, coupled with 4 more game today of what we're now calling the "Shen the 4th" strategy, and in total I've played 9 games, and lost 2 of them, being the main carry every single time. Idk if this is just a combination of the item changes putting more haste into this build than before in exchange for vamp he doesnt really need as much, on top of the W buff on top of the meta being decent for him, or if something just clicked, but god damn does he suddenly feel good to play. He doesnt seem to drop off like, at all, and while his early is still for the most part worse than any other early game focused fighter or skirmisher, its still good enough for someone who's used to perma aggressive invade early strategy to make work. I've been running Eclipse into Ravenous followed by any combination of Cleaver, DD, Maw, and a tank item. With conq and legend alacrity, inspiration second. What else can I do? can someone type out an itemization guide for me or something? I've noticed that this isn't as good when there's no one that can dive with me, since I'll just fuckin die. Does that mean I can build tank on him? the Gore build always felt so bad before but is it any good now?

Once upon a time, there was a tall, nerd, and not-much attractive guy pero pwede na who woke up one morning, looked at the sky, and thought, "Well, this sucks." He knew there was only one solution - to turn to the all-knowing oracle of modern dating: PH fucking R4Friends.
With his trusty cup of coffee in hand, he set out to find someone who shared his thirst for knowledge, someone who could keep up with his nerdy quirks, and someone who he could eventually take on 'friendly' dates (whatever that means). He wasn't in a rush to jump into anything too serious too soon, but he knew that someday, he wanted to find someone he could build a meaningful and caring relationship with.
So if you're a fellow lover of coffee, learning, and all things nerdy, this tall drink of water might just be the partner in crime you've been looking for. Dating at times feel like a job hunt doesn't it? So I thought it’d be fun to write it in a mock format just like a resume! LOL

About me

An old soul as older people I spoke with would say, into business and investments, frustrated law student, can drive a fucking 10 wheeler truck, no ex issues or sabit, can provide a certificate of no relationship (kahit wala naman nun haha).

• I'm 5'10", medium built if that matters, resides in quezon city
  
• I'm an INTJ, Aries, if you’re into MBTI and believes in horoscope.
  
• Loves to read self-help books as I love to learn and motivate myself along the way.
  
• I'm the kind of person who doesn't follow the herd blindly, even if it means standing alone in a field of conformity. My principles are like a compass, always pointing me in the right direction, even if it's not the most popular route. In short, I'm not afraid to swim against the current, as long as it's in line with my beliefs.
  
• You could say that my communication style is like a triple-layered cake: serious, meaningful, and sprinkled with a healthy dose of humor. Sure, I may come off as awkward at times, but that's just my way of keeping things interesting. After all, who wants a bland and flavorless conversation when you can have a deliciously complex one? So, if you're looking for someone who can engage in a thoughtful discussion, crack a few jokes, and still leave you with something to ponder, then look no further.
  
• I'm what you might call a clean freak with a creative streak. As someone who's a bit OC (okay, maybe more than a bit), I can't stand to see a messy or cluttered home. But don't worry, I'm not the type to wait around for someone else to do the dirty work. I take pride in noticing when something needs to be done and taking care of it without being asked - it's like a satisfying little victory every time. And when it comes to interior design and home decor, I'm practically a pro. I'm always on the hunt for the latest and greatest tools and gadgets to keep things looking fresh and stylish. So if you're looking for someone to spruce up your space and keep things sparkling clean, I'm your go-to guy.
  
• I'm not in the business of putting people down - unless we're talking about the volume on the stereo (badum-tss!). But seriously, I believe in treating others with kindness and respect, even when it's not the easiest thing to do. After all, life is hard enough without having to deal with someone else's negativity. So let's lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, shall we?
  
• I set feasible goals and actively pursue them.
  

Here's a list of my favorites:

Movies/Series	Music	Places	Activities	Books
Godfather	Radiohead	Paris (not yet)	Cycling	The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
Sherlock	Eraserheads	Coffee Shops	Painting	How to Win Friends & Influence People
Castaway	Chicago	Cebu	Roadtrips	Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Forrest Gump	Ebe Dancel	Japan	Diving	Start with Why by Simon Sinek
Homeland	Urbandub	Rome (not yet)	Piano	Atomic Habits by James Clear
Before Sunset	Frederic Chopin	Canada	Travelling	How to think like a Roman Emperor
The Office	Eminem	New York (not yet)	Cooking	Letters from Stoic
Big Bang Theory	Dr. Dre	Maldives (not yet)	Film & Photography	48 Laws of Power
Breaking Bad	Elton John	Marrakesh (not yet)	Badminton	The Intelligent Investor

Pros:

• Responsible (Good credit score, no debts, no criminal records, and self-reliant)
  
• Curious type of person, who's ready to listen and craves to learn a lot of things
  
• Doesn't do drugs and is not a heavy drinkealcoholic.
  
• Respects your views and accept healthy criticism.
  
• Actually appreciating the things you'll do for me, and showing it. If you cooked a big dinner, saying thank you is nice. Doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen is even nicer, and in my opinion, should be the norm. The cook doesn't clean. If someone does something for me, I'll show them that their effort was appreciated instead of just accepting their generosity and then running off back to whatever I'm doing.
  
• Accepts responsibility for one's own actions and does not try to blame everything or everyone else.
  
• Doesn’t play online and computer games
  

My preference:

• Someone who has a strong passion for accurate and comprehensive learning, maintains a normal BMI, and is beautiful and easy on the eyes - I believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes (no offense intended towards plus-size women!).
  
• High standards for what she wants and is not afraid to communicate it.
  
• Craves knowledge too. Love and isn't afraid to try new things
  
• Passionate and proud about something they've been working on/have done/are planning to do
  
• Confident about what they want but isn't in-your-face about it.
  

Let's take a break from stressing over the mundane and focus on the important stuff - like what will make us happy for the rest of our lives! Share your thoughts on how we can achieve that and let's get this happiness train moving! Oh, and if you're curious let’s exchange photos first!