"It's a dog-eat-baby world."
On June 22nd, 2022, three of the greatest philosophers of our age asked one, simple question. What if Giorno Giovanna from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo used his stand Gold Experience to create only babies and pitbulls through the entire plot? The result is the most fucked up hypothetical plotline for Part 5 that I've ever seen, viewable in its entirety here. I highly recommend watching it in full before viewing this thread, as it's a frankly insane experience to listen to for the first time.
For reference, here's Giorno's canon RT. Only the physicals in this RT should be applicable here, for obvious reasons.

Gold Experience

General

• Gold Experience's capabilities are identical to how it is in canon, with the exception that the only lifeforms Giorno can create with its ability are babies and pitbulls
• Potentially applying the "size rule" that Giorno has to follow in canon to Gold Experience's transmutation ability is brought up, but the conversation gets changed off the topic before its stated whether or not to be applied

Transmutation

• While punching Bruno in the face, could turn all of his teeth into pitbulls, causing his head to explode into dogs
• Would be able to easily make a hundred pitbulls at once. In general, the speed and quantity at which he can make things isn't an issue for him
• Would be able to spawn a hundred pitbulls out of a puffy Cruella de Vil coat
• Places the "essence of a pitbull" in every ounce of heroin circulating the Passione drug trade
• Josuke's Crazy Diamond would be to restore the transmuted pitbulls and babies back into their original form

Pitbulls

Strength

• A pitbull viciously mauls Koichi to death
• One pitbull made from Koichi's luggage destroys most of Italy's population by itself
• A pitbull eviscerates Leaky-Eye Luca, specifically his arm (which was holding a baby), killing him
• Maul Melone and Baby Face to death
• Pitbulls beat Narancia with 9 to 1 odds
• A chainlink of pitbulls prevents a helicopter from taking off
• Kills all the cops in a police station to get to Polpo

Speed

• "Last I checked uh… aren't pitbulls faster than light speed?"
• Arrives at a baby's location 0.2 seconds after its created by Giorno
• All the pitbulls can move at the same speed

Baby Detection

• Locks on to a baby 0.2 seconds after Giorno creates it
• Instantly maul Melone to death on sight, instinctively knowing his connection to babies
• A group of pitbulls forms a chain link in order to grab onto a helicopter with a baby inside it and prevent it from taking off
• Diavolo creating a new forged identity counts as a newborn baby
• Breaks through King Crimson's ability to erase time in order to attack a baby placed on diavolo

Utility

• Uses Formaggio's Little Foot to create tiny pitbulls, which can be used to be snuck into water before returning to normal size
• While they wouldn't survive the encounter or be able to directly kill Fugo themselves, a large swarm of pitbulls would be able to indirectly kill Fugo by getting Purple Haze's virus on him
• Creates a chain of thousands of pitbulls, each one moving slightly faster than the one behind it, in order to lead Notorious B I.G into the ocean
• Makes a set of stairs out of pitbulls to reach a helicopter
• Drinks a daily dose of miniaturized pitbulls (and babies) so that he can throw them up later if he's unable to create more for whatever reason

Babies

• Turns Leaky-Eye Luca's shovel into a baby, causing a pitball he created earlier to lock on to and attack him
• Could turn a chunk of his body bitten off by Clash into a baby so that a pitbull would attack Clash
• Could cover Ghiaccio in baby armor, and would be able to make a baby go on the hole in White Album's back
• If it were possible to get an object in Cioccolata's head like what happened in canon, he could turn it into a baby and have it burst out
• Could weigh down a helicopter from taking off by making a lot of babies

Basically I plug them in and it says they’ve connected it shows enable mouse and keyboard I click it, mouse works fine I can punch switch cameras look around, then I try the keyboard and I can’t move I can punch with ctrl and go into orbit with right alt but none of the other keys do anything, they work perfectly fine on my pc and I’ve used them on Xbox before and it’s worked fine? Anyone know why?

"About time!" Lu t'Cca thundered at her. "Split find hiding spot!
Najia backpedaled, giving the irate Split prisoner plenty of room to get past without coming into arms' length of her. At least he seemed to get that this was a prison break, and he made no move for her or her firearm, darting well clear of her, and out from the cell block.
Axiom's voice cut the sudden quiet that was otherwise punctuated only by her racing heart. "While you two were chatting, I've found a way to temporarily disable security in the hangar. That's where we'll hitch our ride. Head for the second level; the Ministry seems to have installed more switches. They'll require some adjustment, but I know you love a good puzzle." Najia snorted. She did, in fact, love a good puzzle, but breaking out of a prison was not the time to indulge in that. Usually. Unless one looked at the prison as the puzzle. She shook her head, huffing, and drew her pistol again. There was no marked pathway this time, but she made better time; it was reckless, but she jogged, since the place was seemingly totally unguarded. And, if it wasn't, chances were that Lucca would run into the guards first, and she'd hear the struggle ahead. She passed the lift, glancing towards it, and hurrying past in the other direction she hadn't been yet, coming to a door. Slowing, she closed enough with it that it opened automatically.
Najia let out a huff; Lu t'Cca was on the other side, but so was Axiom. She stepped forward, and looked from Axiom, who nodded to her, to Lucca, who snarled. "Creature reveal Split hiding spot! Creature nothing better to do?" This is a hiding spot? Najia shook her head; the two of them were literally standing in the middle of an intersection, in front of an airlock with two branches off on either side. She huffed, looking at Lu t'Cca. "Hey, Mellerd said -"
"Split not talk about friend-foes!" Lucca ranted. "Kriss went against family! Betrayal followed petty betrayal! Way of Windfall, yes. Way of some Split, maybe, but not how real warriors do revenge!" He made a guttural sound of anguish, shaking his head vehemently. Kris? He was on a first-name basis with her? The fact that Ace had spoken so frankly of xenosexual encounters popped into her head, the constant talk of betrayal, pettiness, personal matters, and suddenly it was obvious; somehow, this was personal. Personal; and none of her damn business. She held her hand up placatingly, holstering her other pistol, trusting to Axiom's physical presence to keep peace between her and Lucca. "Fine. I'll leave you to it," she said. "Split thought so," Lu t'Cca spat, looking back to Axiom. She looked to Axiom as well. "Switches, Wildcard. Get to it."
Najia nodded, and darted down the left-hand branch of the intersection, fuming all the while. It ran into a dead-end, and she uttered "ah fuck," turning and sprinting in the other direction, slaloming between Maestro and Lucca. At the end, she dead-ended there, and exasperated raised her voice, "the hell?!" Back in the middle, she examined the airlock carefully; she could see that it connected to nothing, which is why she discounted it previously. Carefully she moved into the airlock, her hand on her pistol just in case Lucca tried to kill her by cycling it, but he and Axiom seemed to be in the process of discussing old times.
Exasperated, Najia stepped back out of the airlock. "Axiom, where are these buttons you're talking about? How are we supposed to get out of here?" "Er..." Axiom blinked, tri-ocularly, at her, and looked around. He looked at his datapad. "They should be... Through..." He let out a discontent rumble. "Oh my. That is not obvious on a computer systems diagram schematic." "They're on the other side of the frigging airlock," Najia said. "You're probably already aware that humans can't survive in vacuum, let alone maneuver in it, right?" She snorted, her sarcasm at least getting a sheepish shuffle on his long legs out of Axiom. "Can we get out the way we came back in? Even if it means abandoning the Raven?"
"No," Axiom said gravely. "The tampering I did to activate the cell block doors will be caught by someone sooner or later - probably later than sooner, but sooner if we try to leave the cell block." "Split has been implanted with a tracking device," Lucca growled. "It will raise quite the ruckus when Split leave the cell block!" "If we're leaving by... Unconventional mechanisms, that will be no trouble," Axiom noted. "But if we enter the lift, it will lock down and security will be summoned immediately."
"Outstanding," Najia huffed. "Let me double-check something, see if I can think of something." She turned and left the way she had come from. She bypassed the lift; she had no intention of simply bailing on them. But now, she had two options. Neither was good, but one was significantly less good, so she hoped the other option worked. She opened a channel to Boso Ta. "Boso Ta, I hope to hell you've been listening in." "I have, Assistant!" Boso Ta's voice came through loud and clear. "You are in quite the conundrum. I hope you see a manner in which I may be able to extricate you, for I do not." "You and the Professor have been upgrading teleporters with the ability to upgrade themselves. To do so, you've been transporting equipment, right?" "Hai!" Professor Nakagawa's voice cut in. Clearly he was on the line. "This capability is within our grasp. What is your proposal, Takio-San?" "Can you teleport my EV suit to me?"
There was silence for a long few moments which felt like an eternity. "Potentially," Boso Ta broke the silence. "Have it placed in one of our lifts." "I'll get right on that," Marta cut in on the line. Najia smiled to hear her voice. "Any other requirements?" "If this will work, we will need very precise measurements," Professor Nakagawa said. "The teleporter is more your project than mine, Boso Ta. My thought is that it will require at least three triangulating vessels, and a beacon, and a substantial amount of open space." "Will an empty cell block do for that," Najia asked, hustling down the corridor. "It should yes... Yes! That will work." Rei Stringer cut in on the call, and Najia blinked as she saw Rei's comm-code. "I can arrange the fly-by," she said. It had been awhile since Najia had heard from the friend she had left in charge of the Eighteen Billion Terran-tech construction supplies factory, and generally, in charge of Eighteen Billion affairs. "There's a patrol of Katana in the area already, it won't look suspicious if they do a swing-by of Wormwood Scrubs."
Najia set her datapad down on the floor in the middle of the cell block. "I put my datapad down on the floor. Is that beacon enough," she asked. "Hai, Takio-San," the aged professor's voice informed her. "But I would endeavor to be in another room when the teleport takes place. This is... Highly experimental." "Vacating the room," Najia said, sprinting out into the hallway and down it. "Tell me when it's gonna happen."
"In... About twenty seconds," Boso Ta informed her. "You might want to cover your ears, assistant." Najia didn't even bother to complain about being called 'Assistant' again, she simply crouched and closed her eyes, covering her ears and tried to become one with the railing. She counted to thirty, then opened her eyes. "Did anything happen?" "Your EV suit and EMU aren't in the lift anymore," Marta said to her. "Better go check."
Najia did, and she laughed heartily. Her hardshell carapace EV suit and EMU were sitting on the floor of the cell block. "A perfect teleport! I didn't even hear anything." "Fantastic," Boso Ta said. "You had best hurry, Assistant."
One fast donning later, Najia opened the door to where Axiom and Lucca were still standing around, chatting like old gossips. They both started when they saw her, and she held her hand up. "Easy, guys, it's me." She was hauling her EMU with her. "Split wonders where creature was hiding that," Lu t'Cca said, pointing at her. "Ancient secrets," Najia flippantly answered, as she hefted her EMU into the airlock, and sat in it, strapping in. "Right, let's do this." Reaching up, Najia slapped the airlock cycle button. The door behind her hissed shut; air was evacuated. Her suit indicated a total drop of external pressure, and the airlock's A-grav let go, letting her float free, and so she pushed off the floor.
"Excellent!" Axiom crowed at her, over the comm. "Level 2 is right through there. That exhaust fan may impede your movements, but it won't make our mission impossible. See those alcoves? There's where I'd hide if I were you, whenever the fan is blowing at full speed."
Exhaust fan? I'm in vacuum! Najia carefully maneuvered out. She was in vacuum and microgravity; but she was also inside a large, cylindrical space. Below her was something like a massive fuse-box with a big holographic turret outline, and she jetted down to examine it, but could see no obvious way to tamper with it without most likely setting off major alarms, so she looked back up - just as a synthesized alert klaxxon sounded.
I hate this place, Naija thought, as she saw a fan at the top of the cylinder spin up. At a guess she thought, perhaps it was something like an exhaust, which struck as horrifically wasteful in space, but she could only grit her teeth, watching it spin. At the bottom of the cylindrical space, she only felt the slightest of buffeting; it might have been substantially stronger closer to the top. I am very confused, very frustrated, and I just want to get the hell out of here, she thought. She was seriously considering revisiting her first plan, which had been to simply teleport herself, Axiom and Lucca to Ace's ship.
But now, though, she was pissed, and she wanted to poke something spiteful in Mellerd's eye herself. So she jetted to the top of the cylinder, looking around. As she did, Axiom popped up in her comms. "These airlocks are shut, so you'll need to find a way to bypass their locks." She responded with only a quick "roger," looking around. One airlock, contrary to Axiom's words, was hanging open, but the lights next to it were red. She tried it anyway; but for once, Axiom was spot-on. The airlock door might have been open, but its functions were locked out, the panel totally nonresponsive. She returned below, and looked around; there was an open airlock opposite Axiom and Lucca, so she tried it, and it worked for her automatically.
"Well, let's see what's down this way," Najia muttered to herself, slipping out of her EMU and leaving it in the lock. She unholstered the pistol that was now clamped to her hardshell-clad thigh, and started to look around again.
To her surprise, she found only another cell block - it was a dead end! She was about to hiss in frustration, when she heard someone call to her. "You there! You! Hey! You are not supposed to be here!" Najia turned to face the Teladi voice, her pistol half-raised, when she saw that the figure in question was imprisoned. She lowered her aim to the floor, and appraoched the bars. Standing within was a Teladi, who looked rather forelorn. Najia's shoulders slumped. Well, this is awkward, she thought. When the Teladi seemed to realize she wasn't a guard, she started to ask, "Oh please, please, please! You cannot leave me here! I am friends with Urgu... Ugusa... I can help you make profitsss! I promise."
Najia sighed at the pathetic display, but she understood the Teladi's desire for freedom; though, on the balance, she also had no idea what this Teladi had done to become imprisoned. Knowing Kriss Mellerd, it was a total crap-shoot; she might be a real scum-bag, or she might be being shaken down. Axiom cut in on her. "I sympathize with the little lizard, really I do, but we cannot compromise this mission in the name of charity."
Najia huffed out a sigh, and looked around. Frustratedly, she slapped the door panel on the imprisoned Teladi's cell, and to her surprise - and the prisoner's surprise - it opened. The prisoner looked around, confusedly, and Najia was glad that her mirrored helmet hid her gaze. "That's the best I can do," she said, resignedly. "You'll have to effect your own escape from here, if you can. Good luck." Turning, she huffed back into the airlock, slapping the button to cycle it as the Teladi prisoner looked around in tentative confusion, taking a few steps out of her cell.
Najia pulled her EMU's straps back on. "Well, that was a fucking bust," she snarled. "I'm about to start lasering shit," she muttered, floating back into the massive vacuum cylinder, and back up towards the locked airlocks. She found a third floor of airlocks, but they only offered some shelter from the fans starting up. After waiting that, frustratedly she flew back out again, and started looking around. "Axiom, there aren't any switches here!" "My diagrams say there are switches, Wildcard. Look more carefully - and swiftly."
Najia let out a guttural growl of frustration, and switched to her cutting laser. Giving in to a pique of frustration, she hit her Mk.2 thrusters, blowing past level 1 to the sub-level, coming up level with the big fuse-box. "Right, let's see what this does," she said with a snarl, and targeted her suit's cutting laser on the big set of what looked like fuses.
She blazed a neat line down the middle of them, and, gratifyingly, the 'Turrets' hologram switched to a big red repair icon... She looked around for a moment. Nothing happened. Najia smirked. "On the one hand, this place is frustrating, confusing, and I kind of want to blow it up out of spite by now. But on the other hand, the gross criminal negligence on display is really working in my favor. Fuck it. Lasers for everything," she said, snarling and going back up the shaft. There were a bunch of unmarked panels, and, giving in to the frustration she felt earlier - which she had barely restrained herself from allowing herself to hold Lu t'Cca at gunpoint - she started lasering the panels like a schoolgirl hooligan on a vandalism spree.
"Your new laser is low-powered, but if you keep it aimed at the lock, it will break eventually," Axiom said. Najia blinked. New laser? This is my laser and I've had it for a while, and... Oh, piss on this! She laughed, however, as she saw that one of the panels had indeed fractured.
One deeply-cathatic vandalism spree later, every panel had been opened, and had revealed that inside the two panels nearest the top-level airlocks were two further, smaller panels, with similar mechanisms. With the fan starting up again, Najia took shelter in one of the alcoves at the top, just under an airlock, and, deciding to use her time productively, she lasered the opposite airlock's control panel. After holding her laser on the box for awhile, it was a glowing ruin, and Axiom commed her. "Partial access to level two established," he informed her.
Najia nodded. She didn't even bother to sarcastically snark at him, though the phrase no shit, Sherlock ran through her mind. Rather, she charitably assumed he was reporting to her something he was learning electronically, and turned around. This is gonna be bright, she thought, as she trained her laser at close range on the near access box, and closed her eyes. She held in the firing stud, and held it - counting in her head to seven, when Axiom's comm made her let up off the laser. "And just like that, we have free reign over level two! They can't stop you now!"
Najia grinned, and opened her eyes to behold a molten, glowing hole drilled into the electronics she had blasted. "Right. Let's get this show on the highway."
On the level above her, in the half just above, she slipped in, and found herself facing a door to another cell block, just through the airlock. She went in and looked; no prisoners. Walking out, she huffed, and decided to walk the half-circuit around the big cylinder again. To her surprise, she found a console, just attached haphazardly to a railing. Really? Najia examined it, and snorted; it looked shoddy, ad-hoc. She tapped the console's screen, and it simply changed color. Axiom piped up. "Magnificent! That'll give you access to half of the switches! There must be another console nearby that will let you remove the second cover."
"Got it. Moving on," Najia said. Back to the airlock she went, after checking the other half of the crescent hallway she was in; without any luck, she just floated across to the other airlock on her EMU. Predictably, she found that, on the opposite railing in the other half of the level, was another console haphazardly attached to a railing, and she rapped it quite firmly with her knuckles. It flashed. "How's that, Axiom?" "Both covers confirmed open," Axiom informed her. "Let's flip some switches. Get back into your spacesuit."
"Never got out of it. Who has time to undress four times? Anyway, switches, yaaay switches," she snarked, as she cycled the airlock again, strapping her EMU back on. "Whoever designed this place is both a madman and criminally negligent."
Once the airlock cycled through again, Najia saw that the two panels she had manipulated had caused five boxes that she had previously taken as unimportant junction boxes to slide their panels open. She groaned to herself when she saw that there were five more lock-like switches within. "Great, time for more vandalism, yay." She lasered the first of the boxes' interiors, the one that was lit, and held it for a long few moments.
"Something's not right," Axiom said, comming her. She had a sinking feeling. "The switches are also setting the state of their neighbors," he declared. Sure enough, she had blasted the leftmost switch, and the second had lit up. Worryingly, the leftmost switch did not look damaged in the slightest. "You'll have to find a combination which turns them all off," Axiom said, as Najia groaned. "I don't think a game of whack-a-mole will get you there," Axiom continued. "Though... Actually, it might!"
Najia groaned, and briefly considered calling for a five-hundred-some member boarding party attack from two capital ships instead. "What tail-hole thought this was a good idea," she bitched. "Who dreamed this up? Why install it like this? Don't anybody answer that, those questions were rhetorical," she snarked, as she set about the process of shooting the junction boxes like they were a juvenile 'turn them all off' game.
About eighty seconds and the false start of thinking she could shoot an inactive switch to switch it on and switch its neighbors states (it transpired that she could only make an active switch toggle neighbors' states), all five boxes were dark, and Najia snarled, bristling with outrage that this was evidently considered part of a high security system and not a child's game.
"You got it, Wildcard!" Axiom commed her. "Access to Level 3 established. And it turned off the darned fan! Off to the hangar, then." Up one level, Najia cycled herself into the airlock, and groaned. She was getting mightily tired of this, and she rolled her shoulders. "I am going to need a massage and to soak for an hour in the shower," she griped to no-one in particular. She hefted her EMU half-over her left shoulder, unholstering her pistol, just in case. The EMU was very heavy, but her EV suit had a fairly substantial low-profile power assist mechanism. Not enough to turn her into a super-soldier by any means, but enough to let her heft a 150kg load like a bulky and cumbersome backpack. She was tempted to leave it behind... But it was a good thing she didn't. The corridor she found was only a straight shot to - and she groaned - another airlock. As she approached it, Axiom unhelpfully congratulated her. "Excellent," he said. "Yo're approaching the internal hangar now. Our getaway ship is right over there." Cycling through, she passed into the deep well of an internal ship hangar - and groaned.
Najia was looking at a Magpie. That was the big, innovative, unique ship?
"If we want to make it out of here, you'll have to destroy the clamps on the hangar doors," Axiom informed her. Najia groaned, sighed, and rolled her shoulders. "Right. I can do that. All this for a..." She seethed, and looked back at the ship.
No, it wasn't a Magpie, but it sure as hell looked like one. It was clearly a derivative design, but it had not the Magpie's massive cargo pods; rather, it had smaller pods, and a lot more gubbins - antennae, dishes, and the like. Fan-dabbie-dozie she thought balefully to herself as she set about finding and destroying the lockdown clamps. As she did so, she also saw a couple more panels that had a turret hologram over them, and, thinking, why the hell not, fried them, too. Moments later, the lockdown clamps fell, too, and she saw a red light glare through one of the hangar windows.
Axiom piped up, "Holy triangle, that's the station alarm! Lucca and I are going to make a run for the ship!" She blinked, looking up - two EVA-suited figures, with full EMUs, cycled through the airlock she had come through.
What, she thought. Where... I... What... Where...? In a moment of dumbfounded confusion, she stared openly, unmoving, before both of them dipped between the ship's large thrusters, and headed for its belly, while Axiom said, "approaching the dock. Be with you in a moment!" Fearing being left behind, Najia abandoned the question of where they had gotten EV suits, let alone EMUs, in favor of making haste to join them.
As Najia negotiated into the airlock, Axiom and Lucca reported that they had boarded, and Axiom was working on powering up the ship's systems, and Axiom was transferring the ship's ownership - and hence, control - to her. They were trying to talk over one another, making it confusing, but, as she got into the ship and shed her MMU, running for the seat, Axiom noted, "This prototype ship does not appear to have an emergency eject system. I assume it was supposed to be added later." "Great," she snarled. "This is going tits-up and I'm in a little ship with no ejection system." "Split been moving into position," Maestro informed her, in a bit of good news. "Alarm must have mobilized more Ministry forces than Split anticipated."
"Thrice blasted!" Axiom roared from the back. "Mellerd deployed a capital ship to head off the Arcadian Endeavour!" Najia groaned, checking her map. A Pheonix-class vessel named Rolling Rock was engaging the Arcadian Endeavor.
As Najia got the Raven's struts up and pushed it forward, she got a comm from the Rolling Rock itself. She snarled as she saw Kriss Mellerd in her comm pane. "Thank you for leading the old man, and his crew of clowns, right to my doorstep. Crossing them off the Ministry's list will do wonders for my career advancement."
Najia gawped at her, in shock at the sheer gall on display, as Mellerd laughed. "You just stumbled into this whole affair, so I will offer you a one-time chance to get out of this. All you have to do is dock at my ship and hand over the pirates youy are currently harboring. You won't be able to keep the ship, but -"
Najia cut her off, snarling in anger. "You just love the sound of your own voice, bitch. Even if I was inclined to take an 'out,' though, nobody can trust you. For anything." Najia switched the comms to her ships, as she powered the Raven up to full. It seemed to be armed with two cannons; she test-fired them by holding in the trigger. They didn't fire immediately, but when she let go, they let fly. "Woah. These must be those Teladi charger things," she muttered. "Whatever. Ladies? This bitch cannot be trusted to keep her word. End her rightly!"
The Rolling Rock was already exchanging fire with Arcadian Endeavor, while Ace nipped at her heels, firing off shots from that launcher and the frontal cannon. Shiv and Kunai - the name chosen for the Paramerion - lifted from the Jackdaw and Arcadian Endeavour respectively, while Jackdaw and the Snapping Tortoise broke from formation with it to engage.
"L beam turrets... Problematic," Najia muttered to herself. "Let me see what I can do about that," she added, as she set the Raven prototype in motion. She could only hope, at least, that Kriss was at least rethinking her decision, now that the odds had tilted decidedly against her.
She dove into action against Rolling Rock, testing out the Muon Chargers, as the ships with her split and attacked. The destroyer was big, and problematic, but it seemed rather... Awkward to control, in fact. Ponderous, its turrets, even the lasers, seemed slow to respond. She nipped around it, firing a few times, as her four ships slipped past it. A plasma bolt struck her shields, and she yelped, diving to evade. "That's it," she heard Rei - not over the open comms, but in her earbud. "I am not letting you get your ass killed like this. I'm dispatching help," she said, and Najia winced.
Great. So this is how the war with the Ministry starts? And yet, oddly... There was no sign of Ministry reinforcements. Najia fled from the immediate vicinity to recharge her shields, coming in close to the Arcadian Endeavour, and watched as the Eighteen Billion Katana squads roared in. She winced as she saw that Okayama and her defense fleet had also been dispatched - a Destroyer squadron was going to bear down on Rolling Rock... Eventually. And yet, the Ministry was doing nothing.
It hit her suddenly; Kriss was rogue. Was doing this on her own. She snarled and grinned. The Ministry might be mad, when this shook out, but they'd have a hard time proving her involvement. Especially if she could play it as her ships responding to a distress call because a rogue vessel with an unaffiliated transponder had attacked a ship. It was flimsy... But it was enough. "Bear down on her, ladies. Tear that thing apart." Najia crowed, as she pulled the Raven in to touch down on the Arcadian Endeavour's landing pad. She looked back. "Axiom, they're gonna need you in the engine room. Lucca, you're not gonna wanna be on this ship!" The back ramp was dropping as she settled down; neither waited for her to have landed fully, they dropped from the ship and sprinted past, to the lift.
"So, you've decided to go down with the sinking ship? One less loose end for me to tie up later!" Mellerd crowed at her, and Najia smirked; of course she knew she couldn't trust Mellerd. "You're worse than a pirate, Kriss. Nobody can trust you," Najia said. "Prepare to kiss your ass goodbye."
Maestro was rattling on in her ear, but Najia could barely hear him over the combat calls. She hoped he was smart enough not to fire upon the T.E. vessels responding - it would be awkward later, and they were joining the fight on his side, after all. He was saying something about escape, and turrets. Najia snorted. "Actually, we're just going to blow this thing up," Najia declared. "We can't leave someone like Kriss Mellerd at our backs."
Things seemed to be doing well at first; the Rolling Rock was handling clumsily, awkwardly, as if she was critically undermanned. That gave Najia an odd hope that she might actually succeed at boarding her; the responding vessels were quickly tearing down her turrets and shields.
Then, everything went dramatically pear-shaped. Najia yelped as lasers tickled the the Raven's shields down and she got them back up again; again and again this happened, each time the hull started to fracture more and more. She made attack runs, damaged a surface element, and then things got worse. Where were those lasers coming from?
"Missile. Incoming missile." She slapped the countermeasures button, only to see the screen flash ammo empty. "Fuck!" A missile slammed into her, followed by a fly-by from a starfighter. She didn't catch it, but she took a pot-shot at it as it went past. Things were going from bad, to worse, when she heard someone howl, "Jackdaw's taking heavy fire! Jackdaw's... Oh fuck!"
Najia felt a moment of total disassociation. Numbly, her hand drifted over the stick, trying to maneuver the clunky ship like a starfighter, whilst fighting through mental fog.
Marta.
"We've got them!" Rei stringer called out, over her line. "I've got the crew of Jackdaw at the depot, but now we're under attack by a Ministry warship!" Najia gasped, shoving her stick forward, hard. Her ship was flying apart around her, and she snarled. "Someone get these motherfuckers!" "We're coming in," she heard - both the first, and last, person she wanted to hear. "Fenrir, engaging!" "Okayama, engaging." "Kagawa, engaging!" "Ark Royal, moving to engage!"
Najia laughed, incredulously. That was four fleets. Four fleets that most definitely were not supposed to be engaging to support the Arcadian Endeavour. One of them the Teladi wasn't even supposed to know about - Alarms blared. The Raven had taken a nasty hit, and a Ministry Kea was lining up on her six. She tried to pull away - she wasn't going to be fast enough - the ship jerked - the world went white.
Najia crashed forward to the deck, yelping, arms up to guard her head. She looked up; a Marine was standing next to her, offering her hand to Najia. "Better get to the skipper, ma'am," the Marina said. "We're Koshirae." Najia laughed, taking the proffered hand and climbing to her feet, hustling down to the bridge's main deck. Selaia Kevlin was standing in the middle like the Maestro, calmingly barking out orders with command presence. She looked up at Najia, briefly, smirking at her. "Does the owner have the conn?"
Najia shook her head, laughing. "Fight the ship, captain. I've got to coordinate this clusterfuck." Selaia laughed at her and nodded, barking out, "bring us up ninety, show her our broadside. Turret gunners, you are cleared to engage."
She hustled down to the fleet coordination console; the crewwoman at it hopping away for her. "This is Takio," she said, hopping on the controls. "Ladies, clear my skies of red. I don't know what the hell has gotten into the Ministry, attacking our stations like this, but if it's hostile out there, we kill it."
Rolling Rock was not having a good day, and it was getting exponentially worse. Her engines had been disabled, and Najia heard Maestro call out over the pirate channel, "Her engines are disabled. Now is the time to get away! But, where is Wildcard?" Najia winced. How was she going to explain that? Did she even want to? "This is Snapping Tortoise," Raleen, the captain of her pirate Baku called out. "We are picking up the crew of Jackdaw and Raven. Let these big bruisers fight, we'll get back to you."
"No!" Kriss Mellerd called out, yelping. "I don't wanna die!" Rolling Rock was coming apart under the growing tide of fire it was enduring, and more ships were still arriving. Najia snarled. Part of her wanted to bid Kriss a bon voyage to the afterlife, but she looked up to Selaia. "If anyone gets out of that ship, I want them. And we don't tell the Ministry."
"Roger that," Selaia said, and barked out orders to the helm to move closer to Rolling Rock. Najia looked back - a Ministry Razorbill was thoroughly engaged, and another had just blown up, attacking the construction depot.
She gritted her teeth, snorting hard. There was going to be hell to pay for this later. Righteous indigation - no, fury - was going to be the order of the day. Her ships had responded to a distress call from a Windfall trader, by an unidentified vessel. It was attacking relentlessly, wasn't on-record as being anything official. Then Ministry vessels, apparently heeding the aggressor's pleas, had jumped in, attacking Takio Enterprises assets, and the inevitable happen.
That was the tack she was going to have to take, and she clenched her fist. Outside, Rolling Rock came apart in a dazzling blossom of red that polarized the bridge windows for a long several moments. When they cleared, the ship was a debris field. Part of her hoped that Mellerd was dead; part of her hoped she wasn't. There was going to be a butcher's bill for today, and she tried - probably vainly - to make peace with that.
"Get us close enough to the Ministry Wharf to make contact," Najia said, looking to Selaia. "I've some barking to do." Selaia smirked at her. "After this? They should know damn well your bark isn't nearly as bad as your bite. They should be happy to get barked at. You should put on a respectable jacket at least." Najia let out a huff of exasperation, hurrying to do just that.
Najia needed to work to summon the righteous indignation she required for the bluff, but she reminded herself of the fate of Ace's mother to do so; the Ministry were assholes, even if they were also the lawful authority; and they had attacked her. She had clear and convincing evidence that Mellerd was up to no damn good. Not that she waas going to reveal it to anyone.
Hence, she found herself with eyes coldly blazing over the comms to the Ministry Police Kea craft which had departed from the wharf to intercept Koshirae. "Enough is enough," she snarled over the holo, standing in the conference room. "My ships responded to an attack upon a free trader from a destroyer that was not transmitting appropriate Ministry codes - not that the Ministry should be allowed to attack random traders, either."
"Your ships fired upon Ministry vessels," the captain of the Kea shot back, clearly outraged - but also, like the pilot who had followed her through the rift - terrified at being massively outnumbered and outgunned.
"Let me be clear, on the record, so there is no ambiguity," Najia said, leaning forward, placing her fist on the table. The effect was to lean closer to the hologram - and on the little attack ship's screen, her face would loom larger. "My ships responded to a distress call from a ship being attacked by an unknown vessel not transmitting appropriate ID. The Ministry, for whatever reasons, chose to respond to the event by siding with the aggressor and attacking my ships. Takio Enterprises warships responded by destroying the Ministry vessels." Her heart was thumping in her chest, but she narrowed her eyes. "If this is the gratitude of the Ministry of Finance, for all that Takio Enterprises has done here in Eighteen Billion, in Grand Exchange and at large, for the Ministry and the company, up to and including constructing facilities and securing neutral diplomats to mediate the dispute between the Company and the Ministry... Well, you might want to check with your superiors before you write a check they have to make good on. To be absolutely clear, this is a threat; you are the highest-ranking Ministry combat officer in Eighteen Billion. It is your decision whether this conflict continues or ceases, here and now. Ah - ah! Shut your fucking muzzle and listen to me carefully," she snapped, as the pilot opened her muzzle to retort.
"If you say anything but words to the effect of 'this was a horrible misunderstanding and we should deescalate the situation' - if you, personally, choose to escalate the situation, the first step I will take will be ordering all of my shipyards to stop producing vessels for the Ministry. The second step will be that I shall cripple the Ministry's ability to replace vessels by destroying the Ministry Shipyard and Wharf here in Eighteen Billion. I shall then proceed onward to prosecute this destructive and pointless war - a war chosen by you, pilot, here and now - by destroying each and every Ministry of Trade station I can find, until someone with some competent authority asks me to please stop doing that. You can see the weight of tonnage I have here, you know the Ministry does not have the tonnage to stop me. The choice is in your claws, pilot; war, or peace. War, or peace. Escalate, or deescalate. Your call."
The Kea pilot visibly shrank backwards in her command chair, obviously struggling to attempt to retain composure and command respect in the face of an overt and direct threat to bring fire and flame directly to the Ministry of Finance. Finally she steeled herself, straightening up in her chair. "This has obviously been a dreadful misunderstanding, miss Takio. The Ministry is undoubtedly going to demand reparations for our lost warships, but such matters are the purview of the financiers, not myself. If you will cease giving offense, we too shall cease attacks upon your vessels."
"Thank you," Najia said, leaning back. She fought not to visibly slump and sigh in relief, or to show how badly her heart was racing. "As for the reparations, they can take that up with the diplomat I have on payroll. Out." She cut the channel, and collapsed back into the chair behind her.
A moment later, the comm lit up again, and she flicked it on. It was a huge conference call, with the commanders of her fleets, the captain of Koshirae, Marta on the Snapping Tortoise with a small bandage on her forehead; Rei Stringer on the 18B construction depot, Tsukiko Peterson back at the headquarters, Professors Nakagawa and Okoye - whom Najia realized with a pang of guilt she hadn't yet formally re-introduced herself to -, Boso Ta,, and Ace. Najia let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Please for the love of god tell me we didn't lose anybody," she said, first off.
"Nobody from Jackdaw, Marta confirmed. "I took a headcount. We got lucky. "That seems to be a recurring theme," added Captain - probably should be Commodore - Xiaowen Kapoor - one of Najia's older friends, and currently the commander of T.E.S. Fenrir. "It helps that we responded with overwhelming firepower. My fleet is reporting no fatalties; thirteen casualties, mostly caused by haste in the heat of battle."
That proved to be the recurring theme; all of her responders reported sustaining injuries, mostly 'workplace accidents' incurred whilst in the heat of battle, but though some were serious, none were life-threatening.
"Najia Takio," Professor Yoriko Okoye - an aged-but-not-venerable, steel-haired professor-turned diplomat said, with the same tone of voice that she had used when reproaching Najia in class. "You are now, as ever you were, charmed, lucky, and reckless. You choose to act with passion first and foremost. This is a fine mess that I'm going to have to clean up, you understand. Can I expect this sort of thing to deal with in the future?"
Najia took in a breath, glancing around at her fellows. Barring a few, they were all young - Tsukiko was the third-oldest and Najia knew she was closer to thirty-five than forty - barely. Most of them looked grave, but not mutinious. She sighed, and smiled, wryly. "While I don't plan to go to war with the Ministry, there may be future... Rough spots to smooth over, yes. If you'd like to resign and go home -" "Not yet," the aged professor said, sharply. "But for dealing with this, I am going to require a pay rise!"
A chorus of chuckles surrounded her, and Najia sighed, face-palming and smiling. "That's fair, professor. We're going to have a fine time untangling this. Ace, how are the Curs?"
Ace looked into her eyes, then looked away for a moment, then back to her. "Secure in Windfall, awaiting your hopefully-safe return." She trilled, and Najia nodded. "Next stop, then."

This is in a homelab / home network scenario, where I work from home:
how much ram do I need to allocate to the Proxmox host, and not allocate to the VM’s? i.e., how much ram should I leave open to Proxmox via allocating less ram in total to the VM’s? Initial thought is 2-4 GB?
I have a Dell ussf 9020 with 16GB ram I plan to use for various infrastructure such as Pi-hole, nginx reverse proxy (for some items limited to the same box), NUT Server, maybe uptime-kuma, zabbix, etc. this will be an isolated server with no external dependencies (aside for network, obviously), as I have it on its own UPS along with the router, switches, and AP’s.
It has 2 1TB ssd’s in zfs mirror for boot and all other needs, such as VM’s, currently, minus a separate PBS.
I’d assume leaving 3 GB or so to the host Proxmox OS would be much more than good enough for this case, but obviously ZFS is going to want to use all it can for ARC, so I’m not sure what would be best. All thoughts are appreciated!

A is into this guy, we're doing a lot of work together so I tolerate him for that purpose. But A really likes him. I really fixing hate how he treats A though. He's just a fucking ass. Not even abusive or anything. Just an ass. He and I fight all the time because he never fucking listens. They haven't done anything romantic and he is a true ass about making that clear it'll never happen. Like I said, we do work together and at the moment it's unavoidable. He's not abusive as much as fucking irritating.
He makes her sad or says something rude and I just want to punch him in the face. I recognize that's not smart. But he's such a piece of shit.
A thinks it's relevant to mention I don't get along well with others. And that's true. But fuck me this guy pisses me off.
He doesn't really know about the DID. Well I told him but he didn't understand so whatever. But it's a true pain having to hold my tongue or not want anything to do with him but not being able to switch out lest I be noticed.
He also sure has a bunch of witty fucking bullshit he likes to say. I just want to punch him in time fucking throat I swear to you. The only reason I tolerate it is because it's advantageous and for A.
Piece of shit. That's all.

Our house has been dominated by my narcissistic brother. Hes over 30 years old, married with 2 children and still lives at home with my parents, myself, and sister while raising his family in the upstairs portion of the house. No job, gambles like crazy, addicted to opioids and is a convicted felon. Ever since I was a kid he would throw massive anger tantrums for even the slightest of things (mostly if he thinks you are offending his masculinity which is an automatic fight). Our house bears the scars of his outburts as many doors and walls have filled in holes from where he has punched them.
Talking to him is like playing chess. You have to be extreamely careful when dealing with him as any remark can be seen as disrespect. He always thinks you're lying to him or that the whole family is plotting against him. If you react angrily to his comments he says, "you are sensitive" or "you're a bitch". He has "borowed" thousands of dollars from family memers and hasent returned a single penny. I cant fuckin take this shit anymore. Im 21 and in my last year of college and on the edge of a fucking mental breakdown.
I try to talk as little as possible with him but always seem to fall in his traps because i dont want to give up on my big brother because "hes family". WHAT DO I DO PLEASE HELP ME. Knowing that i wont be able to move our for atleast another 3 to 5 years when I get a stable career is literally crushing my will to live. He is an energy vampire who wants everyone to be scum like him.

If you’re in a rush or just driving like an a-hole on any given day, be sure to turn on your “polite driver” switch so you don’t end up attending your fitness class or academic class with someone you just cut off or whatever

hey, i want to mod my board im using a keychron k8 pro and im going to holee mod the stabs and install some ktt kang white v3 switches do I have to disassblmble the whole board just to remove the stabs?

Constellarmorph Collapsaur:

New Type: Ghost/Dark
New Abilities:

• Singularity (Extended): Damage taken from an attack is reduced by ⅓. This effect can only happen once per switch-in.
• Shadow Tag: Prevents opposing Pokemon from choosing to switch out, unless they are holding a Shed Shell, are a Ghost type, or also have this Ability.

Notable Moves:
Sucker Punch, Throat Chop, Crunch, Snarl
Collapsaur: https://www.reddit.com/fakemon/comments/1264cdk/collapsaur_the_supermassive_pokemon_mascot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Stellarmorph/Constellarmorph Phenomenon: https://www.reddit.com/fakemon/comments/126akd1/the_stellarmorphconstellarmorph_phenomenon_new/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

An author's note: Please read this post in it's entirety before you message me, I've added a follow up to answer most of the basic questions I've been asked over the last 3 years since I started posting my AD.

All my previous iterations were mostly about what role I could fulfill; and while this mostly still is true, walking amongst the elites the last week has opened my eyes... I'm looking for a complacent trophy to put on full display. Arriving to this city I already had a deep... Passion for power, governance; and just over all domination -- Washington DC fulfills my lust, and thirst for both political power, and monetary gain. Now I want, not need an adequate toy to share this experience with. Before I was playing conservatively; not anymore,
I've allowed my ego to rampant and on auto-pilot; thus far everything is according to design.
I'm as amoral as they come; I will eviscerate my way to the top of the governmental, and corporate ladder(s). I'm a retired hacker that has realized my full potential is being squandered away, so I'll begin to kick in the doors of 3 letter agencies until recruit me; or I die trying.
I've come to the conclusion that you need to make an impression with these sort of things, so I'm going to just let my words flow freely. So here we go:
Basics:
Height: 5'7
Weight: 175, could stand to lose a few lbs to get my abs back.
Eyes: Brown eyes.
Hair: Long curly brown hair (think Slash Rose's illegitimate son.)
Race: White.
Ethnicity: Hispanic (Cuban.)
Languages: Spanish, English, Sign-language.
Profession: Network Engineer in NW DC.
Religion: Agnostic.
A little about me:
I like long walks on the beach, sunsets, oh did I mention that I'm a sadist, and that I'm utterly insane?
I've been called a silver tongued devil; Quick witted, charismatic, with just the right amount of sarcasm.
Hobbies: Not being bored, it's a lot harder than it sounds. I enjoy learning/conversing about The Universe/space, science, and technology. I was quite nomadic in my 20s, having visited two different countries, lived in over 17 states, visited over 38.
Music: I'm more of a rhythm of the beat type of person vs. lyrics, but generally I've found myself to enjoy electronica. Definitely like a lot 80s synth pop, but again, this is just the preference, not really against the rest of the genres.
Shows: Billions, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Board Walk Empire, Billions, Rome, Deadwood, Halt and Catch Fire, The Sopranos, South Park, Mad Men, Dexter,
Movies: Beetlejuice, Brain Scan, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb,
"What are you looking for?"
Well I can encompass a Master, a Dominant, or a Daddy, so it's really what can I provide for you?1
"How is such a thing possible?" Antisocial Personality Disorder (3.4 for those interested.)
"Why was it necessary to mention that?" To give credence as to how I can, and have been all aspects of Dominance.
"Monogamy or polyamory?" Favoritism towards polyamory, but seeing as it's rare to find multiple partners that allow me to explore my more sadistic side without tension, and/or drama, I'd go with monogamy if the individual allowed me to be depraved.
Preference in the following order: Slave, submissive, little (I will explain further below.)
Kinks: Sadism, TPE, CNC, bondage, degradation, humiliation, knife play, rope play, rape/abduction play, choking, impact play, spanking, hair pulling (I think you get the idea by now, there are still far more, here's a more comprehensive list.)
Experience: 15+ years.
​
​
So about that whole preference thing, as I am on the ASPD spectrum I'm capable of fulfilling whatever role(s) are required of me to get what I want. So let me explain further, I'm openly telling you far ahead of time that I lack emotions and empathy, with the hopes that me giving you the illusion of whatever it is you require, will be met with reciprocation of the kinks we can agree upon. This is where the waters get muddied for little's, I can definitely treat you like the princess you want to be, without all the douche-baggery you'll deal with as people tugging at your heart strings. Plenty of people around here pretend to be Daddies and will leave you absolutely heartbroken. Tired of games? Tired of bullshit? Well here's someone willing to give you all the care, attention, and affection you desire without any hassles.
"Why would you want to be a Daddy Dom given your lack of emotions, and empathy?"
I am a social chameleon. I've been perfecting my art for the majority of my life, I like the challenge. I like to learn people and, give them what they want with the idea that I get what I want in the end, it's called a social transaction. I know what respect is, and I believe I need to write a little about this. Once we've discussed clear limits, and terms, they shall not be crossed, it's counter productive for me to lose my play thing(s). I can be fiercely territorial of all my possessions, that includes the individual(s) I'm involved with, what is mine will be protected, whether you're a slave, a submissive, or a little.If you want someone to completely treat you like trash, I'm more than willingly to oblige, if you need a savior and a protector, well I can do that too. I'm able to encompass what is required; a means to an end.
"What are you looking for in a submissive?" I'd like it to extend outside of the bedroom, but if it doesn't, whatever, I'm not going to repeat myself, so hopefully you've read this in it's entirety.
"What are you looking for in a slave?" Mostly aesthetics, and objectification. Of course I'd expect loyalty, servitude, and there's a plethora more, but I don't feel I need to be too descriptive on this part.
Now that I've written a fucking novel about myself, let's get to you....
Age: I prefer them younger (18+) , but have dated women as old as 45; generally if I find you attractive, I won't care.
Height: the shorter the better, but I've dated women taller than myself, not a deal breaker.
Weight: I'd like someone on the smaller side, a few extra pounds will be acceptable, but no one overweight please, just not my thing.
I will list things below in order of preference, not necessarily a disqualifier. (This is only opinion, not a rating system.)
Race: White, but as long as I'm attracted I won't care, I don't discriminate.
Ethnicity: N/A read above.
Language(s): The more the merrier, accents are a huge plus, whether a southern drawl, or other.
Religion: I'm completely open to allowing you to practice whatever you'd like, just don't expect me to participate; I can be respectful of your beliefs, as long as you're respectful of mine, I am a man of science, The Universe is my religion (so to speak.)
Eyes: Blue, green, hazel, brown (If you have Heterochromia iridum you move to the front of the line, I like mutations.)
Hair: The longer the better, no preference as to style, as for color: I prefer true blondes, redheads, dirty blondes, and then brown.
Tattoos: Sure, whatever, as long as it's not overwhelming or flat out tacky, in this day in age it's harder to find someone with none, so as the trend follows above.
Piercings: Depends, some people can pull off septum piercings, but I personally dislike them, so if it compliments your facial features, sure why not. But there is definitely a breaking point where it becomes overwhelming and you just look like Hellraiser.
Education: Strong preference towards educated women, this does not necessarily mean academics, open to all.
Profession: No preference, but I do tend to like women in psychology (I have my reasons.)
Personality: If I have to learn "your" pronouns, or apologize for my "white male privilege" you can fuck right off; I don't care about politics.
Children: Strong preference in favor of not having them, unless we never intend to meet, or you don't expect a level of commitment from me to them, then I don't readily care, non-factor. To explain a tad bit, it isn't that I can't, I just would rather not raise children, I have too many plans in life that children would derail, maybe later.
If you're interested in communicating further, I prefer talking on these platforms and in this order: Discord, WhatsApp, Reddit Chat\, Skype, Kik,* open to other forms of contact.
\Reddit Chat isn't the same thing as their mailing system, just an FYI.*
Go ahead and shoot me a message, I'm waiting.
​
An update:
Well just to filter some things out, since I get this so many times... I will not be putting a big editorial process to this update(I say this now, after already re-reading, and editing a minimum of 5 times; I'm a slave to my own perfectionism,) so if you mostly have questions about me, ASPD, and things of the like, read this before you message me.
​
While I absolute love to talk about myself because I'm just such a narcissistic-hedonist, I also do get bored of repeating myself, even if it is a new person. As such read everything in it's entirety before you message me, as I'm going to entertain less, and less messages about me, and not what I'm seeking, I'd rather focus on only replying to potential partners, and absolutely nothing else, that being said if anything I have not covered in this update, or post still burns an answer from you, by all means message me.
​
​
"Were you formally diagnosed?"
I get asked about this A LOT, I'm not going to go into very many details, suffice it to say, yes, but it's been labeled as a misdiagnosis, all you need to know is I score high, and I do the things you'd expect, the pyromania, the violence that is actually associated at early age, the works, I'm not comfortable giving you more beyond that, and I will not be entertaining questions about my personal life, maybe a partner could ask me those questions, but I'm not letting you in my head, that's my game, not the other way around :).
Please do your own research beyond this point, it's borderline laziness how often I keep getting asked about this.
​
"Why are you so open about it(ASPD)?"
Isn't it obvious? A lot of you can't fathom why someone with ASPD would just openly come out, and admit to people, well I guess I really should've brushed up on this when I first made my post, or at least go into a far more descriptive detail than I had originally, so here goes:
​
If I'm ever to lead a sort of a long term relationship based on trust, and honesty, just how in the HELL do you expect me to explain this to you ever so casually? It's best to show your cards in the beginning, this is my own baggage, or some form there of.
​
There's two reasons I'm choosing to do this online, and vehemently under anonymity; 99% of you will be irrelevant to me, 99% of you will never meet me, it's just that simple, ergo why wouldn't I just preface my entire description as such, and as brutally honest as possible? Secondly I do not want a partner whom I need to continue to wear a mask for, I want to be me, the real me, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
​
What I find the most is women that fetishize the entire ordeal, that's all fine and dandy, but it does show just a lack of understanding about what APSD is as a whole, and to be perfectly blunt, you're wasting my time, I don't need to feed into your lonely thrill romance you spun in your head from watching true crime dramas. More often than not, this what happens, spare us the role-playing, I'm just not that bored.
​
"Empathy"
One clear distinction I'd like to make, so I can stop getting asked about it, we DO have empathy, it's just not how YOU experience empathy. Think of a light switch, by default most of the population's is on, ours is off by default, and furthermore we have the ability to turn it on, and off. Yes, it is that simple, yes we use it for manipulation, now stop asking me about this, it's boring to repeat this.
​
"Emotions"
Boredom, rage. This is what I'm capable of in the dark, empathy off. I'm constantly seeking stimuli, if you notice by actually looking through my posts, I've moved a ton of times, and always national parks... New atmosphere, new adventures, new dangers, you know, the shit that gets your heart pumping, adrenaline. This is my favorite drug, this is the high I constantly chase to kill the boredom. Rage is just self explanatory, my defaults are animalistic.
I am fully capable of experiencing all emotions, it's just for the most part, because I don't want do, I don't allow myself to.
​
"Manipulation"
For the longest time I told myself who cares if I burn bridges in my wake, I'm building a highway in its place. Mostly still true, and I absolutely use it on a daily basis for survival, I must stress, and emphasize survival, here is why; I'm human, like the rest of you, what do you do on a daily basis, if not find means, and ways to survive, and entertain yourself? I know no other way other than to use people to my advantage, I minimize the damage where I can, and move about my daily existence, guilt, and worry free about doing any wrong, an argument could be made that we all use each other in some weight, or capacity, and that's good enough for me.
​
I'm sure by now you're probably wondering what the hell any of that has to do with anything, it's simple if the point flew over your head, again. I'm tired of manipulating people, using them, abusing them, discarding them, I didn't grow a conscious I'm not "growing" as a person, but much more likely, I'm just bored of the routine, or the process, which has become the symphony of my life.
​
"Love"
I by no means ever want to experience this love you all chase like Alice clumsily falling down the rabbit hole. I've seen it so much in my life it's downright pathetic, and I actually feel bad for those of you that have such strong emotions, see empaths. You're slaves to these emotions, you let people use and manipulate you, you've been hurt, and had your heart ripped from your chest, and it feels like you no longer have purpose, lacking direction, and meaning in life. I merely know this from generally observing humans for most of my natural born life. I'm more than happy to remain the way I have always been, and never wish to experience emotions in the way you do, I find it to be an advantage, one I can apply to more important things in life, like the pursuit of knowledge.
​
I hope the psych nerds will now stop asking me these questions, I've paid my dues.
​
"Preferences"
My preferences, are just that, a list of my preferences, at no point in any of my writing did I say I was prejudice between one thing, or that I show favoritism. I merely made a chart listing some of the attributes that I myself, personally find to be significant to me, but that isn't to say, or detract from other things. It's the equivalent of asking me if I prefer Metallica, or Megadeth; well I'm going to say I prefer one over the other, but I enjoy both, and the genre as a whole, the genre being women in this case. I enjoy women for my own personal entertainment, and amusement -- which makes it all the more hilarious to me when I get called a misogynist.
so please spare me all your comments, and messages telling me that it's so "intimidating", if my post intimidates you, what can I really even begin to say about that? It doesn't sound like we'd be compatible, or much less you'd be able to accept me as a person, in any case this is a personal issue.
​
"You Need Help!"
I know what the help is, they just remind you repeatedly that your actions have consequences, they do not prescribe a medication for this, just therapy, and I know enough already to check myself, it really is that easy.
P.S:
"To My Adoring Fans"
You call me an edge-lord, cringe, and a wide range of inane insults, that truly don't phase me, since I get a lot of these messages, I thought I'd give you my rebuttal; just so you know I sleep naked so that anyone that doesn't like me, can kiss my ass - feel free to visit anytime!
P.S.S: I now operate, function, and walk amongst the elite of the nation; I see my kind everywhere, this is what Rome must of felt like in it's heyday; Cicero you clever bastard... I bid you all adieu -- and depart with this:
{"Το σύμπαν είναι αλλαγή. η ζωή μας είναι αυτό που την κάνουν οι σκέψεις μας.";}
Sincerely,
<~sodomy>

I went to Hunter Health (in Kansas) in January 2023 to get a psychiatric evaluation because I was literally losing my mind. I was punching holes in walls, breaking my things, hurting myself, having severe mood shifts, extreme anger, fixating/persecutory delusions, etc.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and got help with meds (prozac 40mg, prozasin1mg for night terrors) that cost in total 34 dollars. Sliding scale psychiatric and therapy places exist. They may not be the best but starting out it helps. I'm going to therapy soon which will cost me another 30 dollars. WITHOUT INSURANCE!!! I need to emphasize that because I live in the US and health insurance is BS.
Please try to get help, get a diagnosis, takes meds, etc. It's helped me a lot. I second guess my feelings now and no longer wreck my shit. I have more control.
If there is a sliding scale facility near you (if you do not have insurance) I would highly consider going. It has helped me immensely and I am poor af. I have a grip on myself that I didn't have before.
Good luck and I apologize if you do not have a sliding scale psychiatrist office near you. I sincerely wish you all the best. <3

Our 2yo cat has an issue where sometimes he comes out of the litterbox with his backside and feet soaked in pee. I watched him once and I think he squats too low and doesn’t dig a hole prior so he ends up sitting in his own puddle. This problem got more frequent upon changing to corn litter so we switched back to clay but it still happens sometimes. Any advice?

When bottom watering, should only the roots sticking out at the bottom of the upper tray get in contact in water, or is it fine if the whole medium wicks up water every time?
I’m currently trying to use soil as a medium in two shallow trays, the top one with holes. When planting I add 2 cups of water and then the soil in the upper tray, then sprinkle the seeds on top and leave in blackout under weights for 2 days. When watering after blackout I pour 1-2 cups of water in the bottom tray and it is completely absorbed within 5 minutes and the soil is saturated. I’m wondering if I’m doing this wrong, could it be a problem that there is only about half a centimeter of space between the trays? I always seem to get some mold within 1 week, sometimes right after blackout. I previously used paper towels or no medium, but switched to soil because of poor rooting and also, mold.

the order of events as I’m aware of go as follows:
Classified intro cutscene - after Dempsey uses the baby gun while ultimis are teleporting from shangri la to moon, they end up in the pentagon before the events of Five.
(Somewhere between here they get from the map classified to moon, Since the map classified, like moon, also has the area 51 hangar as the pack a punch room I’m assuming the maps transition to eachother since moon begins in the same hangar. But this isn’t shown during gameplay or any cutscene that I’m aware of)
Moon EE - ultimis crew teleport from area 51 hangar to the moon and help Richtofen switch bodies with Samantha. This gives full him control of the zombies. Samantha, now in Richtofens body and the other 3 members of ultimis help maxis (who is living inside griffin stations computer systems through electricity) sever Richtofens connection to the aether by blowing up the earth. From this point Richtofen who is inside samanthas body, inside the mpd, Samantha, inside Richtofens body, Takeo, Nikolai, and tank are still on the moon.
Tranzit, die rise, and buried EE - from the moon Richtofen tries to manipulate stulinger and the victis crew into activating the polarization devices to reconnect him to the aether. Maxis communicates to victis through electricity to stop Richtofen by using the polarization devices to allow maxis into the aether. In the maxis ending, which is canon, Samantha joins maxis in the aether AKA agartha and maxis puts Richtofens soul into a zombies body while the earth is doomed to be destroyed.
Origins EE - Samantha, trapped in the aetheagartha reaches out to a version of maxis from an alternate dimension to help her escape. From here origins plays out where an alternate version of Richtofen, Takeo, tank, and Nikolai (primis) put maxis’ brain in a drone and send it to agartha to free Sam
Meanwhile, Cod zombies comics - while the earth is getting destroyed after the buried ee victis is teleported by primis Richtofen to the empty earth dimension where the kronorium is stored. Ultimis Richtofen, who’s soul is inside of a zombie, follows them into empty to earth to retrieve victis’ blood for primis Richtofen. Victis retrieves the kronorium and are sent to the lab beneath Alcatraz where they give it to primis Richtofen who seals them in the cryopods they wake up in during the tag der toten intro. Primis Richtofen then gets sal and finns blood. He travels back in time and gives sal and Finns blood to himself before the events of origins. He travels to Zombie Richtofen who gives the victis blood to primis Richtofen. Then he returns to Alcatraz and gives victis’ blood to primis from the future, after completing the EE in zesubou no Shima (this is the part where blood of the dead splits from main timeline/cycle)
Classified EE cutscene - ultimis are in an Area 51 jail cell after the events of moon, according to the cod wiki, zombie Richtofen teleported to Area 51 and touched his original body which turned his zombie body into ash giving him control of his original body. From here the story continues into alpha omega.
How long did they stay on moon? Weeks? Years? How did zombie Richthofen get back into his body? And how did they get back to earth like we see in the classified cutscene?

Link to my other guides: https://www.reddit.com/worldwarzthegame/comments/fs7mbc/new_player_guide_primary_and_secondary_weapons/
Link to previous version of my weapons guide just for reference: https://www.reddit.com/worldwarzthegame/comments/q47kh9/primary_and_secondary_weapons_overview_aftermath/
Disclaimers: I am not able to upgrade all my weapons to max perk level due to lack of time these days, but all weapons except the one noted are at least level 5+. For the same reason, I'm not going to come up with any snappy tag lines, just dry impressions.
The perks mentioned in each weapon is my PERSONAL preference, you don't have to follow exactly what I did if you like a particular stat over others. If you have any interesting perk combos, just reply below.
Unique perk means the first slot perk, these are usually unique to one weapon, or shared by only a few guns. Some of these are very OP and they completely changes the way that weapon work.
Common perks are perks in slot 2 and 3. These are shared by many weapons and mostly just minor stat changes.
FAQ's
Q: What's the best gun in this game?
A: There's no such thing as "best" weapon, there's only the one that's best for your class setup and situation. Some guns are better for fighting small groups and other are better at killing mobs. Class perk often affect the power of the gun and personal style influence your preference.
Q: How do I know if a gun is silent or not with the new skin system.
A: Open the gun customization window and read the description on top. Any silenced gun will says "silent". Don't rely on the graphics because silencer on the barrel is cosmetic and have no real effect on the silence mechanism.
Q: Which stats are the best to get, what do the stats mean?
A: Prioritize power, accuracy, and penetration; handling isn't as important. Power = more dmg per bullet. Higher accuracy means the hits will be closer to your reticle so you miss less. Penetration = number of additional zekes you can hit with each bullet, +1 Penetration = hit 2 zekes, +2 pen = hit 3 zekes. PEN is super important because it's a dmg multiplier.
Most of the time, you should use short bursting vs small groups, or full auto/mad clicking on large groups, so handling (the amount of rise after repeat shots or when you move around) doesn't matters as much. I would only add handling if a gun is firing all over the place with full auto and just can’t stay on target. Running and gunning is a bad idea in most scenario.
Total ammo is not stated in the customization menu, but it’s an important factor in insane/extreme difficulty and hard horde mode due to lower ammo amount in the crate. Some guns run out of ammo very easily and I will point them out specifically.
Q: Which guns are best for swarm fights?
Anything with +2 penetration is best for horde/pyramid/swarm fights. I will make specific mentions if some guns are good for large groups.
Q: Why are you talking about headshots so much?
Except boosted/Elite/Specials*, headshot will one-shot all other zekes. In higher difficult, zekes have a lot of HP, so body shots are not as effective. You really want to put your target down with as few bullets as possible because there are so many zekes to kill.
*Normal bullets only. Boosted/Elite and some weaker specials can still be one shot with the right weapon and setup.
Tier 1:
Scout Rifle: about the same as before.
Basic semi-auto rifle. Best for picking off zeke at mid range. +1 penetration and fixer can hit 4 zekes, so line up the targets and take advantage of the extra penetration. Best when used with ammo fixer because you just have to aim for the body and explosive ammo take care of the rest.
The unique wolfpack perk is same as before, but the Veteran II perk to increase reload speed is really great one to have too.
For the common perks, +10 magazine size is pretty fantastic, custom barrel +1 acc and +10% dmg is also good.
Compact SMG: slight improvement but perks are pretty meh
Worst out of the 3 starter gun. It's accurate only at close/medium range, low stopping power, and definitely not enough ammo. Thank god GS/medics can refill ammo with headshot, and slashers have melee power to compensate. Get close, use short burst and aim for the head because body shot takes forever to kill something.
Unique: snake-bite perk is more viable now because they removed the ammo penalty, but you still use up ammo too fast so I am avoiding it. Point blank +50% dmg is OK since compact suck at hitting far targets anyway. Go with CQB if you are a slasher or medic/GS with a big sword. All 3 perks carry some sort of down-side, so they are pretty meh.
For common, I use custom sight for +2 acc because you can headshot a bit easier (this gun reload fast so -10% reload isn’t a big issue). +10% DMG power perk is definitely needed. If you max the level, ammo pouch perk is really necessary.
Shotgun: Best starter gun got better
Personally I think it's best of the 3 starter guns. Lots of ammo, easy to aim, +1 penetration, and big stopping power. The T1 shotgun can one shot elite squad w/o explosive ammo! The slower pump action allow you to aim between rounds, so it's easy to one-shot target. I can even get third-hand to trigger without reloading. The range is not bad, but get up close and personal for max effect; rely on pistol for sniping enemy farther away. You do need to be point-blank range to one-shot bulls in the back, and at least 3 good shots to bring down an infector.
The fletchette unique is bad. On paper it looks good with +4 acc and +1 Pen. But the reduction in power makes it difficult to one shot zeke at higher difficulty. Because of the slow fire rate, this gun must be able to put down target with one round. I end up using extorsion instead, it’s an OK perk when you run out of bullets and zekes closing in. On edge is too situational for my taste.
Common perk is pretty standard, just pick what you like. I'd get the range bonus.
Pistol: about the same as before
Weak starter pistol, but still useful even for a veteran. It's extremely accurate, so use it to pick up head-shot against idle zekes. There is little reason to use your primary weapon when pistol can easily get you through early map during silence phase. It’s also great at picking off screamers if you are not using a rifle.
It really sucks the previous unique ability is now split into two. You must choose either +2 pen or +50% dmg against special. I still chose the +dmg because it’s good vs idle specials, screamers, and lurkers hiding around corner, you won’t rely on this gun when there’s multiple zeke charging you anyway so Pen doesn't matter that much.
For common, you want custom sights for +2 acc for a total of 11, because this is suppose to be a sniping weapon. Second slot is up to you.
Machine pistol: almost the same except for that insane 3rd unique perk (not i am not going to go into that buggy behavior)
An upgrade version of standard pistol with higher fire-rate. Same low dmg and 0 pen, so aim for the head with the 3-round burst, don’t try to body shot anything, it takes too long. Tons of ammo though.
The special perks are great. You start with perk that turn it into an automatic, and it is great fun to use. But last unique perk can add 20% ammo to your heavy weapon after 10 kills, which is especially useful for high dmg heavy like RPG or MGL. That's some really OP shenanigans if an exterminator can repeatedly fill up his RPG
The common perks exist to support that unique perk, so pick power and extended mag so you can get that 10 kills.
Tier 2
Assault rifle: Solid weapon got a minor buff
My favorite gun for mid-game just because I am an old school CS player. Good amount of ammo, range, and stopping power. Burst fire is extremely accurate even if you are not a gunslinger, and downright deadly if you are. This gun is really trust worthy when things get hairy because I know it can headshot something and put it down for good. The +1 pen and low handling is its main weakness. Full auto sends bullets everywhere, so only hold trigger if zekes are in your face or piled up. Relatively weak against pyramid or fences so you will be emptying magazine after magazine. At least ammo amount is high so you shouldn't run out as long as you are careful.
You really want to go for that last unique perk with +10% healing on self. First perk is OK until you get there, but mostly not useful because you probably already took some dmg when you find this gun. Second perk is pretty OP if you play as vanguard (frequent shield use), but not too useful for other classes.
For common perk, use ergonomics early on for handling and dmg, and +15% reload later on.
Sport Carbine: better than before but took an ammo nerf
I always see people skipping this gun because they don't know how good it is. It's better than the scout at everything: more power, acc, +2 Penetration is insanely good. Fixer with power shot can hit up to 5! It's the first gun I look for when I play fixer, but any other class can use it to good effect. This gun can fire faster and reload fast while dishing out a lot of dmg, especially against a horde or a pyramid. Due to high accuracy, it's even good against small groups because it's easy to rack up headshots. Carrying ammo capacity took a nerf in the new update, it’s down to 180 vs 225 before, so aim well and watch that ammo count.
Unique perk isn’t unique, but at least good. I wouldn’t take custom fit, that -10 mag size really hurt. Fresh mag is ok until you get veteran II for that +25% reload.
For common, I took the +2 acc/-10 reload just because I like to snipe with it. But really all 4 perks at the bottom are great choices and provide good buff. Take what you like.
Classic battle rifle: about the same as before
This gun's specialty is horde killing. If you are not a fixer, this is the second best tier 2 gun for killing large piles, so always pick this up before you fight a horde where the +2 penetration will collapse a pyramid easily. It's accuracy and handling is pretty bad, but not an issue vs pyramid or fences. You should swap it out once the swarm fight is done and you move onto silence phase. Ammo amount is still pretty low, so watch out for that.
Unique perk is just copy/paste from before, you still have tiger claw +25% dmg vs special. Or the HP round II that turns it into a fixer-only gun because fixers gets huge dmg and +2 pen back. The third perk add handling, it's not bad if you just want to use it for horde killing and doesn’t care about special dmg.
Common perk is still power and ammo pouches for more ammo, this gun really need more ammo.
Classic Bullpup: it’s better somehow?
A weaker version of the T-3 Bullpup with only +1 penetration and fire 2 rounds burst. Not sure why but this gun feels more powerful and more accurate than before, so maybe they shadow buffed it? Or maybe I finally figured out how to use it correctly with more practice. It’s a good choice to replace that T1 scout or compact SMG when no other choice is available. You do need to fire this weapon slowly because it’s hard to settle down, give it pause between shots. If you don't, it will fire everywhere and won't stay on target.
You no longer have to sacrifice magazine size for the scorpion tail perk, which is nice because it’s a decent perk. The other unique frankly sucks and I don’t know why Saber did that. Who the hell uses adrenaline on a regular basis? What a joke of a unique perk.
Common perks are nice. Custom round I with longer range and +1 acc is great. Power is OK, but weighted bullet with +20% dmg is even better. You don’t have to worry about ammo as much because it’s got large carry capacity and fire slow anyway.
Light Automatic Weapon: still great weapon with the right class
For a gun that's meant for full automatic fire, it's got surprisingly good burst accuracy with +1 penetration as a bonus. Accuracy/handling during full auto is decent and can stay on target with minor adjustment, so it won't fire all over the place like the AK or the CBR. Just don't expect to pick up long range targets. It seems to spawn more now, so maybe they shadow buffed the spawn rate? The 125 round magazine is amazing and countered-balanced by a 5 second reload animation (melee reload cancel at 75% instead of the normal 50%).
Don't let the long reload fool you, there are multiple ways to reload without actually reloading.

1. GS can constantly refill ammo using front-line supply: It adds rounds for each headshot. I often kill an entire swarm wave and the ammo count still reads 100+.
2. HellraiseExterminator have third-hand perk that reload the gun automatically after 15 kills. It’s really amazing with this weapon because you can just keep shooting. Watch out for ammo usage though, don't want to get too trigger happy and suddenly found out your ammo is 0
3. Fixer's ammo box can instantly reload it. Just remember to stay close to an ammo box, and also explosive ammo cancel out penetration. It's not semi-auto so fixer's power shot do not apply
4. Vanguard with quick hands perk can reload gun when you block a hit or charge. Just do a quick block and holster the shield, and you are back to full magazine.

Not sure why but this gun have FOUR unique perks. But bull’s horn is still the best because 5 out of 8 classes don’t have to worry about reloading. If you don’t like bull horn, boat tail is also great.
For common, custom barrel for dmg and acc is great, then Power perk. Veteran isn’t really needed because above mentioned shenanigans.
SMG: minor improvement, still meh though, need to test out lvl12 perk
A direct upgrade to the compact SMG. Use this gun exact same way as the compact SMG, short burst and aim for the head. It's more stable than compact so you can rack up multiple HS in a row even on full auto. Range and power is still an issue: it packs no punch past medium range, and ammo would run out way too fast. DEFINITELY need more carried ammo to be more effective. +1 Penetration is also bit hard to notice because it's weak. Use it if no other better alternatives available, or if you are playing medic with good aim. They really need to buff all SMG’s with more ammo.
Unique: CQB perk is basically third hand for slasher and Vanguard, pretty useful if you play these two class regularly. Perfectionist is meh unless you start with this weapon via perk. Semi-auto is suppose to be pretty good, but I haven’t been able to test it out since it's a lvl12 perk and I don't use SMG a lot
Common: anything that increases stat is OK. Ergonomics, veteran, and ammo pouch.
Combat shotgun: holy shit that eagle scout perk!
This gun is more like the T3 version after the update, but remember to slow down your trigger finer because firing too fast cause the accuracy to go down considerably. It’s a major upgrade from the tier 1 pump, just remember to pause and aim carefully vs small groups. No other complaints really.
Unique perk has to be eagle scout, period. It no longer carry the -4 magazine penalty, so now you simply has insane range for a shotgun and +1 more pen. No other unique perk affected a weapon as much as eagle scout, the practical difference is insane because this shotgun now has rifle-like range. If you have a hell raiser shotgun-build, it’s a complete blood bath until you run out of ammo. I won’t even go into the other two because there’s no point.
Common perk: I use custom sight for +2 accuracy because the default 3 acc is just too low. The rest is up to you.
Sniper rifle: major buff due to two round burst
Still the gold standard for semi-auto rifles. Just really high stats all around, it’s got everything you want except automatic fire. The key to use sniper is let it settle between shots. If you fire too fast, the bullets will go everywhere, so you have to pause between firing. Aim carefully and make shots count due to low carry capacity and low fire rate. You don’t want to miss at close range and then get beat up while reloading.
Unique perk: forget the old extreme perk, go for the new two round burst. The problem with old sniper is the slow fire-rate, so the two round burst compensated for that. Now you fire much faster with same accuracy. It’s another perk that fundamentally changes a gun in a good way. Just pay more attention to ammo since you chew thru twice as fast now.
Common perk: I use ergonomics II just because I want more handling for the second round to stay on target, so I’m willing to take that hit on reload speed. The last 3 perks are all very good too so take your pick.
PDW: still the same
Low stopping power, low accuracy, no pen, lots of ammo but not worth shit if you can't hit anything with it. To be honest I haven’t upgraded this thing enough to even hit level 8. But the base version is so bland it’s not worth the effort. I usually just keep pistol for sniping specials or shotgun for close quarter defense.
Fine motor skill unique perk does make it interesting if you are GS who like to switch guns.
I haven’t even upgraded this gun enough to see common perks yet.
Compact Shotgun: still the same
Decent secondary for personal protection, whip it out when zekes get too close and your primary magazine runs out. 4-round capacity is OK for emergencies and you can get it silenced, reloads fast as well. It definitely does not have the same stopping power as its primary weapon cousins, so do not expect to be able to drop zekes in one shot.
I haven’t even upgraded this gun enough to see common perks yet.
Dual-barrel shotgun: I did not upgrade this.
I used to use the unique version so I never haven’t bothered upgrading this; it’s only at level 2. At base level it's just a really powerful but short-ranged shotgun. I will update this later. Some people love this, others don’t, I am in the latter camp.
Revolver: work in progress
Revolver use to be bad and I used the unique version that didn’t require any upgrade, so it’s only at level 3. But I do think new revolver now packs a bit more punch because I am able to one-shot zeke more often now. Plus revolvers are just pretty bad ass looking in general. Wil update later if I upgrade it more.
Tier 3:
Assault Carbine: same old reliable with longer range
Carbine has gone through very few changes since the game release but finally getting buffs. It still works in all situations and for all classes, even though it's not the best at anything. I use it like a more stable AK. Only +1 penetration so it's not that good at pyramid killing, but it's great against smaller groups. Both small burst and full autos are pretty on-target so you can rely on it to always hit whatever you are aiming at. It’s still my top 3 guns for gunslingers because you can easily rack up multiple headshots in a row and replenish lots of ammo due to large magazine.
Unique: boat-tail round increase its accuracy and effective range, given carbine a very long range. It’s very effective at flat and open maps because you can pick up targets from very far away.
Common: Custom barrel, weight bullets, basically anything that adds more power and accuracy to kill faster.
Battle rifle: OMG WHY SABER WHY
Saber must’ve heard me saying how good this gun is so now they decided to nerf it hard. This use to be one of the best at mowing down pyramids due to automatic fire with +2 pen. But with XL update, even though other stats are left alone, both carrying capacity and magazine size took a large hit. The 25 round magazine is small for semi-auto fire mode and way too small for automatic, so you are reloading all the time and DPS goes way down. You have to park next to ammo crate because it runs out too fast. Power and accuracy are still great, but you can forget about the auto fire. I have switch this gun back to semi-mode because it’s still good when fired slower.
Unique: I am using boat tail, because the auto perk is nerfed. I treat it more like an upgrade to the T2 sport rifle, which is probably what Saber originally wanted this gun to be.
Common: Power and veteran I is good. If it really bothers you then extended mag and ammo pouch will increase ammo and capacity.
Bullpup: still a good weapon, not much changed
One of the best pyramid killer in the original release before it got power creeped, but still a great gun all around. Good stopping power due to 3-round burst, +2 penetration kills any horde and pyramid quickly. Extremely accurate at up to medium range. It's hard to find any fault with this thing except the low firing rate. The burst mode is demanding, use the gap between the burst to do proper aiming for best results. It's even better when fixers use it since now it's +4 Penetration. Total ammo is low, so watch that ammo usage.
Unique: I still use selective fire since I run fixer. It’s -1 penetration, but turns it into an automatic with optional zoom burst mode, and it's really ONLY for ammo fixers. This is THE FASTEST gun in the entire game, you chew through 45-round magazine in just a few seconds and drain the whole crate within 2-3 minutes. Only an ammo fixer can afford enough bullets to keep firing in auto mode, and it's ridiculously over-powered because it’s still treated as semi-auto rifle even during full auto mode. Just put down a few ammo box in front of yourself, and entire horde just disappeared due to sheet amount of explosive ammo travelling down range. Even bulls go down quickly due to all the explosive ammo to the face.
Common: weighted bullets since you use ammo box and veteran for faster reload. I use ergonomics II since reload time doesn’t matter too much if I am parked in front of ammo box.
Advanced SMG: No major change
Similar to T2 SMG but fire a bit faster with a bit more power, still not great though. Total ammo is the highest in game, but effective range is limited, so only use it at close/medium distance. It's easiest just to go full auto with this gun if you want to kill anything in a pile, or stick with long burst at close range. Its pretty weak against large swarm, OK with smaller groups.
For unique, go with FMJ for 1 more pen. This is one of only three automatic weapon that can do +2 penetration. With Battle rifle nerfed so badly, you are really down to this and T2 CBR. Power is further weakened but at least you have one more PEN. It’s better than the normal version.
Common: Custom round is must, SMG has such a short effective range. I also use weighted bullets to buff power since capacity is pretty high.
Special SMG: pretty much the same as before
The special SMG is what the advanced SMG should’ve been. Similar to tier 2 SMG but with more dmg, accuracy, and handling. Fire rate is lower than other SMG and you only get 40 rounds per magazine, but it's good enough. Carrying capacity is only 280 rounds so you do have to refill often. It's not really for swarm fights due to limited range and penetration, but works fine for smaller horde encounters at close distance. If you can aim well, the high accuracy and power is really good. Just don't expect to kill a ton of zekes with it.
Unique: First two perks are meh. Semi-auto sounds like a good idea, but it’s a lvl12 perk I haven’t reached yet.
Common: custom mag, range, and veteran are all good options.
ACW: Still GOAT
Still one of the best in game. The ammunition is explosive ammo and not an explosive, so explosive perk or nerf doesn't apply, and it has 0 penetration. High AOE dmg, good accuracy and handling, lots of ammo, good fire rate, you really can't ask for more. Each round can kill 6-7 zekes when things are all piled up due to higher AOE range. Just point and shoot, it requires very little aiming. The explosion range is similar to the cross-bow so be extremely careful when aiming for zeke clsoe to people (or yourself) because you might cause a lot of FF. Like other explosive ammo, it can hit a zeke during its death animation and waste a round. Not recommend for GS and fixer class, let weaker gun class like medic or DM have it. Vanguard/slasher should be careful with ACW because they usually zeke in close quarter, don’t splash dmg yourself, this weapon does not have shark skin perk.
Unique: Reparation perk is still the same as before the update, it’s a pretty good perk. Shrapnel is amazing though because it increase the explosive range of ammo for higher swarm killing power.
Common: Power and veteran is needed because this thing reloads slow.
Assault shotgun: good weapon got even better
This gun is awesome at close to medium range. Huge dmg, +2 pen fast fire rate, and 20 rounds magazine. You can mow down an entire fence easily. The range is pretty poor, so know your maps to know which area allows this gun to be most effective. It's a top tier choice for any class, but particularly good for Gunslingers and any class with third-hand. Carrying ammo is high so that's usually not a problem.
Unique perk: +10 Magazine anyone! Less reload is always good to increase DPS. Gunslinger with 30-round magazine is amazing since you refill 2 rounds per headshot. Even though it's not a game changer, bigger magazine is almost always a good buff
Common: I love custom round because it increase effective range. Also use ergonomics II to increase handling, this is one of the few guns that you can do run and gun with, so I took the reloading debuff for more handling.
Crossbow: from bad to decent, but still be very careful with it
I used to absolutely hate on this thing because too many newbs pick it up and just randomly hurt teammates with FF and cause all sort of havoc. It uses explosive ammo that cannot be silenced, so only use it during large battle when silence isn’t a consideration. Drop it as soon as swarm is over. AIM AWAY from your teammates and DON'T try to save your teammate with this thing, you will just blow them up with FF. It's nearly useless against bulls, but good vs all other specials including rats. I don’t recommend this weapon for newer players, you need to be good at aiming because your #1 priority is actually avoiding FF when using cross-bow.
Unique: You have to use shark skin. This perk used to carry a -1 magazine penalty, but that’s been removed. So now it’s just a really good ability. You can fire on the ground close to yourself instead of trying to hit a moving target with a slow bolt, and not worry about hurting yourself. Piecing bolt sounds good but not a good ability in practice because it reduces so much power.
Common: extended mag, veteran I are both good. You should have “Friend not foe” to reduce FF on teammates.
Multi-barrel shotgun: Saber what the heck is this thing, lol
First time I tried this gun, hated it. Level up a few times, loved it. Then I used it more, and now I hate it again. This guns is essentially a beefed up double-barrel. The amount of power is amazing; this thing collapse a pyramid in 2 rounds. But the range is just horrendous, you really have to be in melee range for it to have any noticeable effect. The pellets pattern is also extremely random with a very large and spread out cone. It’s not unusual for me to completely miss the zeke that’s 5 feet in front of me, but somehow kill the two zekes that’s on the side, which lead to some truly WTF moments. I don’t pick it up much anymore because on most maps zekes are just simply out of this gun’s reach. It’s great for Slasher and vanguard because they are always very close to target anyway.
Unique: Advanced user perk is great if you use vanguard shield to auto reload. Extortion works kinda the same but works for all other classes.
Common: this gun REALLY need custom rounds for more range because the default range is just terrible. Custom barrel is also a good choice for second slot.
Grenade Launcher: about the same as before
Unique weapon with very low spawn rate. It fires loud grenades, so don't use if you want to keep silent. One of the most fun gun to use and its low ammo is the only thing prevent it being abused. Refilling it 2-3 times in insane/extreme and ammo box is empty. Because it uses impact explosive grenade, GS's grenade perk and HR's explosive perk will both apply. It only explodes after hitting hard surface, so you can fire through teammates. The only class that can fully utilize its power is the hell raiser because of the extra explosive dmg perks.
Fun fact, you can spam this gun in “thief” mutator because each melee kill refills one ammo
Unique: If you are not a hellraiser, then the fire grenade perk is for you. The round works just like a molotov and Exterminator's molotov perks apply to it. You can use it choke off a small gap, or set a whole pyramid on fire. Kill and Heal is a great perk once you reach it, because it adds temp health.
Common: very few choice available, use Friend not foe to reduce accidental FF, and ammo pouch for one more round.
Flare gun: Still the only weapon without perk or upgrade
Just like the thumper, it's unique spawn with a very low rate. Flare guns are LOUD, so do not use it when you are trying to remain in stealth. But once silence is lifted, it's fun to use and very powerful when used correctly. When it first land, it attracts all zekes including specials in a small area similar to the C4 hello kitty perk. Use this to redirect dangerous specials away from your team like those 2 bulls + infector that will otherwise wreck your team. A few seconds after landing, it explodes and set zekes around it on fire and push them back. It doesn't attract too many, so it’s only good against smaller groups and specials. Lots of ammo but long reloading time, so only use it for emergencies. Let support class use this because they will keep you safe while the attack class works on the main body of the swarm.

I am Senator Duncan D. O’nutts from Alabama and I love America! I love America so much that if it were possible for me to fuck America, I’d do it. I once dug a hole in my backyard and tried but it wasn’t the same.
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But rest assured one day soon I will succeed.
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Regardless I am a man on a mission. This is why I became a Politician after all. I must protect our great nation of Subcanada. I must cleanse it of the vile filth that infects it!
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And so, after a day of staring slack jawed into the sun and drooling as I pondered the great mysteries of life, such as where was Waldo and who was ‘Big Mac’. I remembered that mission that I had and mentioned that was very important.
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Yes I am a Senator.
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I needed to cleanse America of The Homosexuals. This is what the Goverment is for! I must cure them!
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With much on my mind as I scoured the mountains of Appalachia, I drove my Economical Ford F-350 truck (America’s truck) to visit my good friend Jim Bob on his pig farm just up towards the Crick.
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Now by God my buddy Bob Jim is a GODdamn genius. Easily the smartest man on this here planet, HELL yes! He is so very handsome. Chiseled chin, blonde hair, green eyes. He’s like that Chris Evans fella but even sexier. GOD what a man! I always wished he’d hold me, stroke my hair, tell me I was beautiful and maybe give me a good old American kiss on the lips between men who are manly, but he never did. I don't know why…
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I pulled up to his lot and got out to see him sitting up on his old rockin’ chair smoking himself a cigarette with his God Given AT4 Heat Seeking Surface To Air Missile Launcher on his lap. A modest weapon to protect against any of them Queers that might invade his God given territory. He had a right to bear arms and when them Commie Democrats came round to take his rocket launcher from him, he was gonna show them the what for!
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Now I ask him how we might stop the Gays and Bim Job - he goes and tells me that if I wanna cleanse America of its Homosexuality, I gots to go and find the SOURCE the ALFA GAY and defeat him in single combat.
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Now that sounded just about allright to me, So I went on Wikipedia and looked up THE GAYS and I saw an ad for THE GAYS on THE GOOGLE, which is also gay because it has colors and the gays took over all the colors. There is only one color that is acceptable and that is white. Google told me of Elton John, the King of the Gays. The Rocketman. And well I knew what I had to do.
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I asked Jib Bom about The England and he just shook his perfect American fist in the air and said:
“I went there once and by golly it was the worst experience of my life let me tell you son. I stopped for lunch and RadIOHEAD TOOK mY FUCkING BURRITO! HE ate MY GODDAMN MotherFUCKINH burritO! I'M SO FUCKing MAD! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!!!!!!”
“Understandable,” I said and nodded along as Jom Bib angrily shit his pants in shame.
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“You go there and you FIGHT BRITAN!” Bimbo Jimbo said, “YOU FIGHT THEM FOR ME AND YOU FIGHT THEM FOR AMERICA!”
Then Harold turned into a MAJESTIC BALD EAGLE and promptly died for unrelated reasons.
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So I stopped by the airport, and while I was in the bathroom, some American Man got inside next to me and I thought it might be alright if I took a little suck of his American Dick. After all, I had myself a wide stance when I dropped my patriotic turds, and my shoe touched his. So I knocked to apologize and suck his dick in recompense for disturbing this fine specimen of a man. Anywho, after I finished sucking that A-Tier Alpha Male dick and drinking down every drop of his HOT CREAMY MAN MILK like a MAN, I went and flew myself to The England and went looking for this Elton John fella.
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My Father never hugged me… why did he never hug me…?
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So I go up to the first house I see and I knock on his door and he comes out in a nice shirt, pants and tie and I asks him.
“Are you the Elton John?”
And he says:
“I’m sorry do I know you? I’m just on my way out the door and a little busy right now.”
So I says to him.
“Nah son I’m here to kick your ass.”
So he says to me.
“The fuck is your problem mate.”
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And then I fucking punched him.
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Elton John recoiled and as I went in to give him a good American Whoopin, he grabs me and punches me. So we’re struggling now, throwing hands just like them kids do during a good old American Football game and he jumps and he kicks me out his door. He tries to run past me to his car but I grab him by his ankles
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“Piss off, I’m trying to pick up me kids from school!” He says but I tells him.
“HELL NO! YOU’RE NOT CORRUPTING MY AMERICA!”
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And then fire shoots from his feet and Rocketman Elton John flies up into the skies and through the cosmos and I can only barely hold on as he jets towards the sun.
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By GOD he’s gonna try and burn me in it!
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So we crash down onto the surface of the sun and it is hotter than the Devils Arsehole. And Elton John gets up and he looks at me and he says to me.
“This is very inconvenient for me, can we do this at another time perhaps?”
And I says: "AMERICAAAAAAAA" and shot him 411 times with my God Given American Assault Rifle.
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But Elton John did not support Guns and so my Gun got sad and left to go to therapy to get some real support. Then Elton John came at me from the side, throwing punches and kicks. I was on the backfoot, fighting defensively. He moved gracefully, like an expert. Being an 87 year old American Senator who has eaten nothing but triple cheeseburgers and corn starch since birth, I just couldn't compete!
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The heat of the sun was sweltering and the light from it was blinding. I could only barely handle Elton John as he came at me viciously. His fist broke my nose. He jumped and axe stomped me down onto the boiling hot plasma that was our sun.
"Do you think that manufacturing moral outrages against human sexuality and peoples personal rights is just a transparent way to steer the conversation away from genuine problems with your country?" He asked. "Surely there are bigger issues than violating the cherry picked morals from some 2000+ year old book. I mean, I'm not an American and probably don't have the most nuanced understanding of your Government, but anyone with a brain can see the laundry list of problems you're ignoring in favor of complaining about moral corruption. Which seems a bit ironic since a reasonable person might come to the conclusion that rampant gun violence is a greater indicator of moral corruption than two men kissing. And while we're on the subject - why is it that so many of you aggressively cater to conspiracy theorists? Surely you can't believe this shit."
"I mean no, but it pays the bills." I said.
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"And you aren't disturbed by the implications that by enabling this kind of thing you're contributing to the actual corruption of your nation? And by extension other nations?"
"STOP VIRTUE SIGNALING YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN AMERICAN!" I cried and shot him with my backup gun that I literally pulled out of my ass.
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“You can’t stop the gays, Senator!” Elton John said as he picked me up by my neck, “They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it!”
Then, he threw me down, burying me in the center of the sun before flying off.
“Now… I need to pick up my children and attend a charity function for homeless youth. Ta!”
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God… How could I have failed.
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Elton John was going to attend a charity function to help homeless youth and there was nothing I could do to stop him…
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I post now for 3 reasons.
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1: To let you know the dangers of Elton John.
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2: To ask if the guy I fought was the actual Elton John and not just an unrelated bloke who just so happened to also be named Elton John because I’ve been looking at a picture of Elton John for the past 72 hours and I don’t believe I’ve ever actually met this man in my life. The guy I fought had a mustache and a name tag reading: “My name is Ken.”
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3: I need a ride home. I’m stuck in the center of the Sun and my phone is nearly out of battery.

Yosemite (Torkoal) (F) @ Choice Specs Ability: Drought Level: 50 Shiny: Yes Tera Type: Fire EVs: 4 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD Quiet Nature IVs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe - Eruption - Solar Beam - Earth Power - Sludge Bomb
Thicccccc boi (Iron Hands) @ Assault Vest Ability: Quark Drive Level: 50 Shiny: Yes Tera Type: Grass EVs: 16 HP / 244 Atk / 72 Def / 176 SpD Careful Nature - Close Combat - Volt Switch - Ice Punch - Fake Out
Furry Bait (Hatterene) @ Covert Cloak Ability: Magic Bounce Level: 50 Shiny: Yes Tera Type: Fire EVs: 212 HP / 76 Def / 108 SpA / 112 SpD Bold Nature IVs: 0 Atk / 2 Spe - Psychic - Dazzling Gleam - Mystical Fire - Trick Room
Furry Bait 2? (Lilligant) @ Focus Sash Ability: Chlorophyll Level: 50 Shiny: Yes Tera Type: Ghost EVs: 252 HP / 252 Spe Modest Nature IVs: 0 Atk - Energy Ball - Sleep Powder - After You - Helping Hand
David Bowiemon (Flutter Mane) @ Safety Goggles Ability: Protosynthesis Level: 50 Tera Type: Rock EVs: 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe Timid Nature IVs: 0 Atk - Shadow Ball - Dazzling Gleam - Power Gem - Protect
Moiiiin (Murkrow) (F) @ Sitrus Berry Ability: Prankster Level: 50 Shiny: Yes Tera Type: Ghost EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD Careful Nature - Taunt - Tailwind - Haze - Brave Bird