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Sorry for the long post:( I had a work injury in May 2022 and was placed on restricted duty for work by my doctor. About a month later my manager called me and told me I have to come back to work as there is work that doesn’t require me to be on my feet at all times (technically complying with the doctor’s restrictions). But I was still having pain while working and mentioned it to HR to see if I can get fewer hours, and that’s when I found out the doctor never clear me to go back to work and the duty they assigned me does not entirely comply with the doctor’s order. My manager was scolded by HR and I was sent home with a worker’s compensation check every two weeks until I fully recover. Fast forward to February 2023, after months of physical therapy and doctor’s visit. My doctor told me I still might need surgery as my leg is not looking good and they will let me know what to do next in the next visit, as the worker’s compensation insurance wouldn’t sign off on the treatment they are getting me. But the next time I went back the doctor told me I’m all better, no surgeries needed and I’m clear to go back to working full time. At the time I was also dealing with a lot of other health issues so when my manager contact me with my work schedule I mentioned that I wish to switch to work part-time as I have a lot some other health concerns right now and cannot just jump back to work right away. My manager told me that’s ok and just email him about it. I was calling out every day for work for about a week as I was sick. My manager emailed me to call him a week later and told me we needed to speak on the phone. At the time I also received an email from the HR department stating that I have unapproved leave and if I don’t come back by a specific date then I’m terminated. I called and he let me know that there is no part-time work available for me in the department but there are other departments that have availability. But for me to apply to other departments and get the job, I would need to keep a good relationship with him and at the moment we do not as I have not been able to work full time. If I don’t come back to work full time then I’ll have to resign. I told him I need a bit of time to figure out my schedule to see if I can push to work full time and he told me just let him know. He also told me to stop calling out every day as it is not an approved leave of absence and that I need to give him a reason why I can’t come to work. I told him I have other health problems going on at the moment and that’s why I can’t go back to work right away he told me he understand and not to worry about calling out every day and the email I got since he knows what is going on. I was feeling pretty uncomfortable and a bit threatened about the phone call as he keep mentioning that if I don’t come back right away then I’ll have to resign and that we do not have a good relationship for me to transfer to another department. I scheduled a meeting with another HR manager(the original HR manager left the company) and told her how I was uncomfortable about the phone call and what is going on and that I cannot return to work immediately. She ignore most of the complaints I have about my manager and how he was making me uncomfortable and said that I am clear by the doctor and I was hired to be a full-time worker so I must come back as a full-time worker. I tried to push my other health-related issues to be at times that I don’t have work so it would be more manageable for me to go back full-time. But it has been almost a year since I was last at the company so I couldn’t see my schedule and called my manager the date before the termination letter would be sent. He told me I’m supposed to work that day but it’s ok and just use my PTO and submit that day as a sick day so he has it on file that I am trying to come back to work full time, and that he will talk to the HR manager and cancel the termination process. He also told me the next date I have work and was telling me he’ll see me then. I went back to work and after a couple of hours, my HR manager noticed me and called me into the room and said I was terminated yesterday. I was confused and told her the phone conversation I had with my manager and how he told me he'll talk to her and approved my PTO as a sign of I am trying to come back before the date on the letter. She send me home and later on, I got a call from my manager he completely denied everything he said about he know in trying to come back and told me to submit PTO, and he also told me the reason I was terminated was that I didn't call out for two weeks. I explained that I was following his instructions and he just denied everything. Would this be considered as wrongful termination?

I was unschooled by my parents, and then moved online before being forced into half online half in person highschool. I'm now nearly 22 and have no life or social skills, and I've spent my entire adulthood so far thinking I was a fuck up and a terrible person and a burden until I found this subreddit and saw how many people are having my exact same issues. I don't even know how to express how it's making me feel, I've never been happier to know I'm not alone, I feel like maybe there are more people out there like me, but it also makes me so mad that this isn't just a my family issue, and how many people its happened to. It's very overwhelming, but I'm also very happy to have found this subreddit. All of this is so hard to deal with and until now I thought I was entirely alone.

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I used nbl probiotic gold. I thoughted it will help me. But didnt. Made me worse. Now my toilet is type 5 in bristol scale. And each day. I go there twice in 2 hour. But except this i dont go toilet. What should i do? University life made me depressive much. Before probiotics i was better. By the way maybe last year i really didnt care of foods which i ate.

Since January I have been working out 1-2 hours a day for 5-6 days a week and have been in a calorie deficit. I have GAINED 15 pounds! I just feel at such a loss. My wedding is in september and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I HAVE to lose at least 40 pounds before my wedding. I have an apt with my Dr next week. Is there anything else I can do though? Someone please help. I feel helpless and hopeless.

After months and months of trying, hours and hours of waiting I finally am back on Zoloft! It’s not a cure all but the way it balances me is amazing! Issue is, I’m still struggling at home. I’ve been told once again by my partner that I’m a huge burden and I’m just playing the victim. I told him I’m afraid of childbirth and raising children in this day and age. I’m also unstable and can’t be responsible for a kid. He told me I’m just being a perfectionist. Then He told me he feels afraid because he says men worry about being sent to war and that he may die before me. I let him know that those with Autism, anxiety and depressions life expectancy is 40 and he told me again that I was just playing the victim. Can someone tell me how in the world those raw stats are me playing the victim? He makes me feel like a burden and says I owe him so much money from his financial support over the years because of my “poor money habits”. Mind you, I did have room for improvement but I was also in debt to my ears from college and credit debt, and I made a little less than 30k and he made 3x my salary. I’m not entitled to anything here but I was doing my best. I was also studying for the LSATs for law school so whenever I wasn’t working at a stressful and toxic job, I was studying. All this while having autism, depression, anxiety and adhd. Rightfully I snapped this week and had a breakdown because despite everything I’m doing to improve my money making prospects, it’s never enough. The dishes aren’t done on time, take out the trash, where’s dinner, you never spend enough time with me. I’m in law school, broken down and tired.

hi i’m 20 almost 21 and i’m not going to college it just doesn’t really suit me. idk what i’m gonna do for a career yet but it’s been suggested to me that i should try to become an atc and i’ve looked into it And i think it seems something that i could see myself doing. i know i have to wait till the summer bid whenever that is. but if anyone has any advice or suggestions they could share i’d love to hear em. i just want to kinda hear maybe what to expect or like how hard it is to get this job or if there’s to many applicants and i don’t get selected ect. sorry this is so long. thanks all.

My analysis of The Confessions of Frannie Langton (4-part series show edition).
MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT!!!
I'll discuss the following topics: how it could be avoided, hyperrealism, same-sex relationships failing to work out in scripted TV shows, symbolism, and how it affected me.
For anyone who has seen The Confessions of Frannie Langton, I would like your input on this.
I won't explain a backstory to the show, but I'd recommend checking it out for those who have yet to see it.
It's available on BritBox. There are four episodes, around 50 minutes each.
I will briefly explain how the death of Madame Marguerite Benham and Frannie Langton could've been avoided or attempted to be avoided. I'm also assuming that everyone has a basic/intermediate knowledge of the show and characters, so I won't be going into immense detail, so I can make this relatively short.
How Frannie's execution and Marguerite's death could've (potentially) been avoided:
Frannie falling for Marguerite was a mistake, to begin with. However, you cannot control who you fall for. I just knew it would be a mess from the beginning. I was just defeated that Frannie died due to dealing with the Benhams. To correctly determine if/how Frannie's execution could've been avoided, I must figure out when Marguerite committed suicide. Was it after Frannie killed George Benham? Marguerite was asleep during that time/alone in the bedroom. Regardless of either, I am going to backtrack. Sal, the brothel owner, welcomes Frannie and provides her with a home there after the Benhams kick Frannie out of their house after discovering the affair. If we stop it right here, this is where Frannie could have thrived if she had stayed with Sal.
The white individuals around her respected Sal, who was well off financially and intelligent. The entire mess could've been completely avoided if Frannie hadn't returned to the Benhams (where she never had to be from the film's start). But obviously, characters always seem to do the dumbest things, and viewers/readers know what's ahead of them. In episode 4, around the timestamp 17:38, Frannie talks to Marguerite and states, "Come with me, please." Marguerite replies angrily, ".... how do you think the two of us would do happily in a little cottage by the sea." I don't believe Frannie initially wanted the two to live together. I think, at this moment, the two could've and should've left to live with Sal at her brothel. Even though it wouldn't have been ideal, both deaths could've been avoided.
Disregarding this, I believe the reason Marguartte decided from suicide was also because of her husband's pressure about being unable to conceive children. At the film's beginning, Marguerite makes it aware that she miscarried twice. We do know that she miscarried a third time after becoming pregnant by Laddie, which would prove that she cheated on her husband and that she cheated with a black man. Even though black individuals were free under British law in 1825, it was still difficult to be black and shameful. Let alone a white person of nobility and high statutes becoming impregnated by a black man, despite Laddie being of high standards and respected by his white counterparts, both would still be shamed. Therefore, the pressures form on Marguerite from the revealed same-sex affair, which was shamed, inability to produce children which were humiliated, and becoming impregnated by a black man, probably the most shameful of them all during that time, caused Marguerite to end her life. Although, that was not necessary. Marguerite had another miscarriage after the affair with Laddie, eliminating one problem. Anyways, they should've moved in with Sal, but alas. Despite Marguerite becoming pregnant in Frannie's absence, Frannie is crushed, but it's clear that she still wants a future with Marguerite and is willing to move forward from this, but Marguerite cannot seem to grasp this. Not to mention, that Marguerite is addicted to Laudanum, and gets Frannie addicted too, which negatively impacts both character's decision-making and judgment skills.
​
Moving forward to the trial, which I don't want to spend much time on, the family placed stabbed wounds on Marguerite to cover up the suicide, which would be incredibly shameful to a white family of high nobility. Unlike in today's time, where we realize how sad suicide is and use it as a talking point of discussion, in 1825, this was the complete opposite. Moving forward, Frannie was already in opposition. Being a black person in 1825 England, being accused of practically anything by a white jury and white accusers meant that you would most likely lose 99% of the time, ignoring the fact if you were telling the truth or not the execution was inevitable. so I don't want to be the person who says, "well, technically, the jury could've believed the evidence her lawyer brought forth." A doctor was supposed to testify on Frannie's behalf, stating that Marguerite died from laudanum and was not stabbed by Frannie, but he didn't show up. Even in this case, while the judge might've been inclined to believe her, if he was to side with a black individual, he could be lost his occupation. Therefore, he was to place a facade on a fair trial regardless of the proof and evidence brought forward. Thus, once Frannie killed George, she transitioned to "the point of no return." Even if she fled Benham's house after doing so, she still would've been framed. However, I hoped she wouldn't have reached that "point of no return moment" which she could have avoided by staying with Sal or not killing George Benham. She let her emotions get to her, which is understandable. Benham was an asshole, so who cares if his character was dead? But that's not the point. That time when she was arguing with Benham could've been when she comforted Marguerite. Although Marguerite committing suicide was her decision, and there's nothing she could've Frannie could've done, so there's a possibility that it could've been prevented, but we cannot be sure. Therefore, staying with Sal would've guaranteed a 100% assurance percentage that Sal would not have been put on trial. Not killing Benham and staying with Marguerite would ensure a 50% assurance. Conclusion: Frannie should've stayed with Sal.
​
Hyperrealism:
Although I wish the show and novel had a happy ending, and I so desperately wanted Frannie and Marguerite's relationship to work out, I knew it wouldn't. The novel's author (Sara Collins) did a FANTASTIC job of writing it and creating hyperrealism for the show's producers to follow. Therefore, everything would play out similarly to the show in real life. It would've ended the same, if not worse. So we must not ignore reality. But trust me, and I did want a happy ending.
​
The nature of unsuccessful same-sex relationships in movies and TV:
Hate to be the one to say it, but I've noticed lesbian relationships seem to never work out in scripted TV shows. The characters can never seem to "get it together," or their environment, as portrayed in The Confessions of Frannie Langton, is against them, putting them at odds.
​
Symbolism:
The story warns us not to let our hearts impact our knowledge and not to get ahead of ourselves by thinking about the "what ifs." Frannie ignored her logic. She was very well-spoken and well-written, and she knew the potential negative impacts of pursuing a forbidden love with Marguerite. Still, she chose to ignore them until it was too late.
However, there are other areas I want to touch on. First, I want to reference timestamp 48:14 of episode 4 when Frannie utters, "I'm afraid," and looks to her left to see Marguerite sitting on her prison bed, smiling at her, and Frannie smiles back. This happens again at timestamp 48:58 when Frannie looks back at her bed as she's being walked out of her cell to be executed and sees Marguerite again sitting on her bed.
There are a few ways I'm interpreting this. (1)-Either Frannie is so nervous about her execution that she's starting to hallucinate, which is called "Anxiety Hallucinations," the more likely option. (2)-The following possible reason for Frannie seeing Marguerite after saying, "I'm afraid," represents us thinking about an individual who brings comfort. Sometimes, I ask, "what would XYZ do in this situation" to comfort myself in adversity. Or, I'll think about them for comfort. With that being said, Frannie seeing Marguerite could mean that Frannie was thinking of her, and the directors needed a way to portray that. (3)-The third possible option is that Marguerite was there in spirit form and presented herself to Frannie. Regardless of whether spirituality is a current force in your life, you cannot indeed denote the fact that the writers might've been trying to help us viewers realize that Marguerite was there and allowed herself to be seen by Frannie since Frannie said, "I'm afraid," and that was her way of comforting Frannie, and saying "I'll see you soon, in the afterlife" without saying it deliberately. This is a likely option because, at the first timestamp, 48:14, Marguerite has light shining on her from the window. In many religions and spiritualities, light often represents the presence of a spirit or force; therefore, that could be what the writers intended.
I also believe that Sal and Laddie illustrate what Frannie could've been if she had taken the reigns of her own life. They were wealthy and well-off independent blacks, respected and heard by whites which weren't typical of 1825 England. They represented who Frannie could've strove to be but decided against it by staying in her comfort zone (Pursuing love with her mistress). Therefore, this novel and show are trying to communicate that we should always strive for excellence, regardless of our circumstances, and that our beginnings never determine the end.
​
How this show affected me:
Man... saying I love this show is an understatement. It's completely taken over my mind, and I cannot get over it. I wish there were ten episodes of four. I've watched it twice now. The final scene I referenced in my previous paragraph, where Frannie was in her prison cell, made me tear up the first time I watched it and almost entirely cry the second time, which is incredibly rare. I wanted them to work out soooo severely. Frannie made so many sacrifices for Marguerite, and Marguerite made so many sacrifices for Frannie. It's clear George Benham didn't truly love Marguerite and only wanted her so that he'd be able to have children, which was a status quote. I see myself in the storyline. I understand forbidden love and operating in a world full of unacceptance and trying to figure out ways to find acceptance and a place to fit in. This show made me wonder how many handmaidens in this time fell in love with their mistress, either kept it a secret or carried out a secret relationship that ended badly. This reflects reality during that time, and I hate that real people experienced events like this. Frannie went through such a hard time, and I hate that her efforts were thrown in the garbage, all because she decided to pursue love with a woman who didn't truly understand her. She went through all of that for nothing.
FANTASTIC SHOW! 10/10
​
Thank you so much for reading, and I would love to read your responses and opinions to what I've typed and the show and novel in general.
​
Thank you.

Seeking $20 for gas, sanitary items (serious emergency here, I have depleted toilet paper and paper towels to make do, sorry tmi) and some cheap food for myself and kids.
I’d also appreciate any donations towards the $225 I need to prevent eviction due to missing Dec/Jan rent.
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I was pointed to a couple of these groups by someone who reached out via the suicide bereavement sun. The condensed version is, I am a newly single mom of two after my fiancé completed suicide this winter. Unbeknownst to me until he passed we were behind a couple months on rent, he had spiraled pretty hard and it just blew up. I’ve worked with every church and community action agency as well as donated plasma, had an appt with DHS for food stamps and such, started working at dollar general and McDonald’s in my town to get my hours up. It just isn’t enough. The property manager is a sweet person but has given me all the time she can. Monday eviction will be filed so I’m trying to work on figuring out what’s next for us or where we can go, and how we can avoid surrendering our cats to the animal shelter as it’s high kill. I can’t afford to move or start over a lease, I can maintain but I can’t catch up. I’m working as hard and as much as I can but it just isn’t enough. Thank you for reading all this if you did.
Literally anything helps. I’m sorry for having to do this. This will be cross posted to mutual aid.

Before beginning this whole text of a heckhole, I want to mention: I am aware that I am the bad guy to an extent.
I think I want to start this whole ordeal from the beginning. I (20 F) am a second-year university student, studying an asian language. I was born in the capital city of our country and most of the closest maternal family members live there as well. Due to my paternal family living 2,5 hours away, and my father wanting to help them out, we moved to the countryside where my brother (18) was born.
I remember that around the time my brother was about to be born, I think I felt neglected and there are stories about me getting jelous over stuff with him, which also continued well into our teenager years. That's not particularly important, but I wanted to mention this, because the feeling of jelousy also came from the neglect that I might have gotten from my parents. My father wanted to have kids but he didn't really tend to us physically, nor mentally. I understand that there are people who just can't deal with kids and their world, the way they keep talking etc. Around the time my brother was born, my father went abroad to work there, and continued to come home every weekend. Due to the language barrier, which he continuously tried to close, he didn't have much of a patience. My mother had a very deep depression after my brother was born, which came down to me, a very outspoken little girl being quite annoying. My first trauma might have come from that, and also, my father didn't even try to help my mother get out of depression as far as I'm concerned, only my maternal parents (who moved with us to the countryside) were taking care of her.
Either way, I always felt that my brother got everything he asked for, while I always had to work really hard and even then I was always reprimanded that I have to take care of my brother while our parents are away (me 5-8, my brother 3-6), have to grow up, have responsibility towards my actions. Due to this I always felt like I wasn't really able to understand and get into the fun groups of my peers.
Backing up a bit, we had the old school discipline, slaps sometimes, verbal abuse sometimes, but the main things that I remember are stuff like: I was around 4-7 and wanted to play with my father. He said no multiple times but I really just wanted to connect with him and play. After maybe the 3-6th no, he got really mad and he shouted at me to get out he didn't want to play. Another time was when my mother asked me to give our dog (house with big garden, so dog lived outside) fresh water, but instructed me that the season being winter, I have to get the ice out with warm water and then give the dog a not so cold, nor warm water (maybe?). Either way, I did it the good way, however my father was outside the whole time, when I just finished changing the water he got there, misunderstood the whole situation and slapped me saying "what are you giving to the dog" or something along the line. A couple of seconds later I somehow communicated to him that I did it the right way so...yea.
I wanted to be fun to be with, to make lasting relationships, to be important to others. That's why at the age of 10-13 I got into a group of girls with whom I spent my time, etc, and also on whom I spent money. Foolish, yes, but I was desperate and wanted affection and appreciation. Someday I just realized that those same girls were whispering about me and blatantly looking at me while doing so. I became really sad and mad, which escalated into a shorter period of depression. (I have been going to therapy for another thing in the past 2 years, but recently my psychologist made me do a test about depression, so yes, the result came out pretty high which made me realise that even that event and before that I had some sort of depression, I/we just didn't realise that)
My mother was the first one to notice something was wrong and made my father (with whom I really didn't want to speak) give me a speech about how I should never think of myself as nothing and that I should just study and get better than everyone else. This was in 7th grade. That speech gave me motivation and my grades became much much better, I got into my desired high school, after which came uni. No, that experience of bullying was not in the least good, but without it I wouldn't be here, where I am.
Putting that aside, I wasn't really allowed to go to my classmates' parties etc, but I was almost fine with these during primary school. Getting into high school, I became friends with two groups of girls and I really enjoyed my time there. However my private life, my parents relationship to be precise, got worse. They argued a lot and in 10th grade, one night I was going to shower, my brother was locked up in his room, while our parents were arguing in the kitchen. I was already crying but I suddenly heard a thud, picked up a towel and finally went out to a scene where my mother was sitting, crying, my father standing next to her, one of his hands holding hers, the other one just up in the air as if trying to hit. I shouted to stop, my brother rushed out of his room the same time I did from the bathroom. It took a couple of seconds but my father finally looked at us and I swear I could see a kind of cloud getting out of his eyes. I mean I almost saw the rage cloud... I don't remember what exactly happened after that but that was one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed in real life.
Another major thing before getting into the present is that, (I am a summer child) I was 16, when 5 of us, all girls thought about going to the beach for one day. There's a lake around 1-2 hours away with train, we would have just gone for 6 hours at most. I asked my mom (nail artist) and her client where it would be allright to go, since out of 5 of us, it was only my father who maybe wouldn't have allowed me to go. My mother actually wanted to rush me out and just go, she was so happy haha. So everything was set, now I just had to call my father up and ask him so I did. He said that "I know you are a cool, strong girl, I believe in you but I think we should wait until you are 17" (literally 1,5 month away. I said okay, but later he said no again. I got over it pretty quickly but after about a month my mother told me that he actually called her up how it would be bad, what if I got a boyfriend, got pregnant and ruined my whole career and life, etc. She has been fuming for a while, but after knowing this, I immediately became even more reluctant of wanting to just not talk, interact with my father in any sort of way. Basically not even be near him. Nothing.
Fast forward, it was the week of exams, I got sick, so couldn't attend the math exam, so I had panic attacks wich stayed (and stay) with me for a long time after that. My father basically didn't even care, thought it was nothing, etc. But in the end, I graduated, it was all fine.
I moved to the capital for my studies and finally felt... Alive? Definitely a bit safer and much free than before. Like a dog finally getting out of leash haha
Depression and anxiety have been with me since childhood, but this time it got the best of me so the first semester of uni is the one I'm not very proud of. Didn't attend much of the classes, didn't study, and so on.
Now I'm in my fourth semester, my parents decided on buying an apartment near a bigger train station so that me and 2 other girls could live here. Since it's not yet complete, only I live here, but even though I live near the station, even the university is 30 minutes of transportation away, I do not under any circumstances want to go home. I'm an introvert, to be honest, I don't even have the motivation and energy to go to university sometimes. I do go, and I enjoy it very much, but I feel like I'm a huge failure of a human, can't study, I'm not fun to be with and so on. The exams, the stuff we have to learn and the homeworks are just so much I can barely keep up. Finally I managed to create a fairly good schedule when to do homeworks, relax a bit etc, but all I care about is the university with the homeworks because that's everything I have energy for.
I forget calling my parents, and to be honest, I don't want to talk with them because i feel like if I do, I always get back into the controlled situation. I get nervous, and even with my mother and brother I get very awkward.
To sum it up, I didn't have a normal childhood, always had to take responsibility and my subconscious just wants to live through that phase now. I want to be free, call my relatives when I feel I have enough energy for them and aside from that, just live life. But this "not even having a conversation" situation is why my parents say I'm a brat, unfaithful and so on. Yes, I have been brat like for a long time, that is true.
(Sorry for the long story!!)
Am I The [email protected]?

I am numb, I am crushed, I was used, we have a 5 year old son together. I don't understand why she would ruin what we had. I am too exhausted to emotionally grasp what I walked into at 3am.
For context, I'm an airline pilot, I left this morning at 1030am and had a very eventful day, long story short I was supposed to end up in Toronto and ended up being able to go home instead. The last thing I told my gf was that I wasn't able to make it home. (She wasn't expecting me) I wasn't expecting her to be at our apartment since she left before me this morning with our Son and dog to visit her family.
I arrive home at 3am, (16 hours of work) to see her car parked in the lot. I was confused since she was supposed to come home the following day. I was excited to see her and my Son. That is my favorite thing in the world is coming home seeing my gf and son cuddled up sleeping peacefully.
I walk in our apartment, notice our dog wasn't in the kennel. I figured maybe she left him out to sleep in our Sons room so he doesn't bark when I arrive home. I walk over to the bedroom and see my gf sleeping and to my horror I see another man holding his arm around my gf in our bed where I was expecting to see my son.
I cant believe what I'm seeing, Im exhausted and in pure disbelief. I pull out my phone and record with the flashlight. I see all these clothes she bought from Victoria secret from the mall, (she said she was there with girl friends, not) among other stores. I see clothing you would use to role play or just have sex with something nice looking. Part of it was a wig which was weird to me, I looking around more to see a $200 sex toy she was excited to get which she was saying she wanted me to use it on her while I was gone. It was some remote control vibrator thing. I can see the side of her she is in her underwear and a shirt, I look around more to see a used condom on the nightstand.
I grabbed my suitcase and walked back out the door and I'm currently at a friend's house for the night. While they sleep together In my bed. While I make money for our family my gf of 6+ years is cheating on me.
I have given this girl my whole world, my love, loyalty, and care. She is a stay at home mom with no job. I give her this as a choice, to spend more time raising our Son. I provide while she is the caretaker of our home.
A lot of things make sense now looking back, the biggest hint was she was never in the mood to have sex with me. I think she emotionally detached a while ago but has no one to take care of her besides me and the child support she will receive from me now. She would tell me what she would do if we broke up. Very odd to say things like that, I didn't want to believe it but she doesn't love me or respect me anymore. Let alone she doesn't respect herself and most importantly she disrespected our 5 year old Son.
Our Son does not deserve this, It will be very difficult with my career to see him. The worst part is our son and I picked up flowers and chocolate for her yesterday. While she was out with her "friends" she was at this dudes places while I was doing all the chores so she could have a night off. We even bought the new avatar 2 movie to watch together.
I am so fucking lost, I have off tomorrow and want to go to my apartment. I just want to see the girl I thought she was and my Son.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/covidlonghaulers/comments/11ukhs4/nicotine_patches_experiment/
[Disclaimer]: This post doesn't suggest you should try nicotine patches. I am only sharing my experience.
TL:DR
This is the longest (3 weeks) I have felt a sense of normalcy since contracting covid over two years and a half ago.
Most symptoms I reported in my previous post have either disappeared or noticeably improved - for now.
Long covid symptoms (physical):
Decreased sensations (anhedonia) inability to sweat, 3 occasions of severe sleep apnea (waking up unable to breathe!) sb dermatitis every two weeks, dull fatigue, inability to drink alcohol, decreased libido, unrefreshed mornings, blurry vision, f****** brainfog, soft stool/diarrhea, muscle/weight loss, 3 episodes of out-of-nowhere panic attacks/sever anxiety (never knew what people talk about until I experienced them)
Improved symptoms, and for which I have had no relapse since stopping the patches 2 weeks ago are these:
Improved sleep, taste/smell, good vision, improved GI, less fatigue in general, improved libido (genitals feel more sensitive, less numb, and I certainly noticed more morning wood! lol), tactility (typing and writing has been a joy), anhedonia - I enjoy social interactions, music (caught myself singing at least 5 times...it's like I hear differently now...), thinking, jokes, etc more. In this department, something has definitely improved and it is noticeable.
Symptoms that returned:
2 or 3x 'impending doom' mornings
1x Seborrhic dermatitis breakout
You don't have to read the day to day notes below...it's more of a detailed breakdown and thoughts of mainly good things/improvements I experienced beyond the one week experiment - I thought I'd share them since I wrote them anyway...
And yes, I am still nervous to call this a win...very grateful, but still cautious
​
2 Weeks post experiment
Day 1

1. All good so far. Good night sleep, and I am actually feeling normal
2. Normal sensibilities are back
3. Great feeling of tactility

Retuning: NONE
​
Day 2
​

1. Awesome sleep
2. Morning wood!
3. Taste and smell all good
4. Coffee tastes great.
5. I feel in the world
6. No more chesty cough
7. I read better, I savor it as I have always been....
8. Almost everything feels like baseline precovid me
9. I dared a glass of wine at 635PM. Let's see what happens tomorrow...

Returning
a. Skin flare up - sb, mild though
​
Day 3

1. Hmm..so I had wine yesterday and got away with it today, no crushing fatigue
2. All feel normal so far
3. No brainfog at all...
4. Taste/smell 10/10
5. Ah, if only coffee tasted this good always!
6. Improved GI symptoms
7. The walk in the rain from the car mechanic...the aromas and smells were left and right...almost had a flashback to the time I was in the US
8. 619PM, still, a great day...

Returning: None
​
Day 4

1. Good sleep
2. No brainfog
3. All good so far 906AM
4. Just feeling normal
5. Things I can certainly smell now: laundry machine, shampoo, after rain scents, ladies make-up as they pass by (lol)
6. I haven't experienced brainfog for a few days now
7. Excellent tactility feel since I first started the nicotine patches...

Returning: None
Day 5
​

1. Woke up refreshed, started dancing and singing ...wow
2. Vision 10/10, brainfog free, all good in the world so far
3. GI still good
4. Feeling social for the 11th day straight...again, there is more to life, and I don't find things and people empty
5. I am feeling the same 'lightness' I experienced following the vaccines: Energetic, and but somehow strangely light too (not a symptom though?)

Returning: None
​
Day 6

1. Good sleep
2. Smell and taste good
3. For the almost two weeks now, very good tactility

Returning
a. A bit of brainfog? Though not strong....that numbness in the forehead and temple areas..
b. SB dermatitis rash
​
Day 7

1. Tactility, emotional range... all good, taste, smell, visions...
2. Almost no brainfog
3. I feel my body...
4. Coughed up a bit of phlegm

Returning
a. Not a very refreshing morning - but still felt like singing and dancing...
b. Rash on my face is still there (it usually lasts 4 days to a week)
​
Day 8

1. All good so far
2. Very good sleep, smell, taste, tactility etc, all great (I mean normal good, and that is enough for me).
3. Vivid dreams
4. in the world...
5. Coffee tastes great

Retuning: None
​
Day 9

1. All good, still, smell taste, vision, no brainfog...

New
a. I passed out today at 230PM at a small funeral gathering... This the first time I ever pass out in my life. I don't associate this with nicotine patches, but with dehydration - I did not drink enough water the day before. Yesterday, I had two strong coffees, one strong black coffee, but no water. And today, by 2PM, I had three cups of coffee with little to no water. As an experience, this was very frightening and unique: First I felt a cramp in the intestines, which gave me the urge to go to the loo. Quickly that turned into into high temperature. I felt hot and thought I need to instead go out and get some air.. within 10-15 seconds, my legs and body felt heavy, the world started collapsing, and before I know it, I was unconscious...for 10-15 seconds they said...
But 10-5 minutes before this happens, I was eating some sandwiches, and I swear I could taste the different nuances in the variety we had. Even the coffee I was having minutes before this happens tasted outwardly...I could smell its aroma in the air intensely. Is this an instance of 'overstimulation of the vagus nerve'?
Day 10
​

1. All good again, no point in listing the good things...

Returning: None
Day 11

1. Refreshing sleep
2. Taste and smell are great, and I just enjoy food more

Returning
a. A bit of brainfog is back - but this could be the 4 - 5 hour motorway drive from the funeral
​
Day 12

1. Feeling good, tactility has improved.
2. Certainly having more morning woods since the patches
3. For two weeks now, I feel like listening to music and singing songs.

Returning
a. Brainfog, light, but that could be because of the travel last night, and the late dinner (920PM).
b. All else good
Day 13
​

1. All good (smell taste, vision, etc)

Returning: None
​
Day 14

1. All good (taste, smell, tactility, etc)

Retuning
a. Noticing blurry vision...but not deal breaking

after long periods of constant GPU > 99% performance (half-hour - 1hour), it crashes and i have to manually restart the PC for it to become functional again
maintance told me i need to change graphics card, that this problem will get more frequent as time passes until a short circuit and the GPU will burn and maybe take motherboard with it
At the same time, old and better optimized games that requires lower GPU usage (85-95%), like elden ring 4k60fps, i didnt get a single crash in 300+hours of gameplay.
So i was wondering if theres a way i can somehow lower my GPU perfromance via software and prolong my GPU lifespan somehow?
pc
b550 asrock
5800x
tuf 6800xt
32 ram
​
Thanks !!

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Numbers 8:1-26
The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Speak to Aaron and say to him, ‘When you set up the lamps, see that all seven light up the area in front of the lampstand.’”
3 Aaron did so; he set up the lamps so that they faced forward on the lampstand, just as the Lord commanded Moses. 4 This is how the lampstand was made: It was made of hammered gold—from its base to its blossoms. The lampstand was made exactly like the pattern the Lord had shown Moses.
​
5 The Lord said to Moses: 6 “Take the Levites from among all the Israelites and make them ceremonially clean. 7 To purify them, do this: Sprinkle the water of cleansing on them; then have them shave their whole bodies and wash their clothes. And so they will purify themselves. 8 Have them take a young bull with its grain offering of the finest flour mixed with olive oil; then you are to take a second young bull for a sin offering. 9 Bring the Levites to the front of the tent of meeting and assemble the whole Israelite community. 10 You are to bring the Levites before the Lord, and the Israelites are to lay their hands on them. 11 Aaron is to present the Levites before the Lord as a wave offering from the Israelites, so that they may be ready to do the work of the Lord.
12 “Then the Levites are to lay their hands on the heads of the bulls, using one for a sin offering to the Lord and the other for a burnt offering, to make atonement for the Levites. 13 Have the Levites stand in front of Aaron and his sons and then present them as a wave offering to the Lord. 14 In this way you are to set the Levites apart from the other Israelites, and the Levites will be mine.
15 “After you have purified the Levites and presented them as a wave offering, they are to come to do their work at the tent of meeting. 16 They are the Israelites who are to be given wholly to me. I have taken them as my own in place of the firstborn, the first male offspring from every Israelite woman. 17 Every firstborn male in Israel, whether human or animal, is mine. When I struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, I set them apart for myself. 18 And I have taken the Levites in place of all the firstborn sons in Israel. 19 From among all the Israelites, I have given the Levites as gifts to Aaron and his sons to do the work at the tent of meeting on behalf of the Israelites and to make atonement for them so that no plague will strike the Israelites when they go near the sanctuary.”
20 Moses, Aaron and the whole Israelite community did with the Levites just as the Lord commanded Moses. 21 The Levites purified themselves and washed their clothes. Then Aaron presented them as a wave offering before the Lord and made atonement for them to purify them. 22 After that, the Levites came to do their work at the tent of meeting under the supervision of Aaron and his sons. They did with the Levites just as the Lord commanded Moses.
23 The Lord said to Moses, 24 “This applies to the Levites: Men twenty-five years old or more shall come to take part in the work at the tent of meeting, 25 but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer. 26 They may assist their brothers in performing their duties at the tent of meeting, but they themselves must not do the work. This, then, is how you are to assign the responsibilities of the Levites.”

I recently -3months- joined a new company, the current structure is 8 non management(including me) 1 supervisor, 1 head of department, 1 director, 1 executive reporting to CEO, and the CEO.
I am the most recent hire, I managed to report directly to the head of department(unofficial assistant to the head of department), since he have a lot of tasks on his plate and doesn’t trust his supervisor.
I got a separate office while the rest of the non management staff all work at one room, one telephone & one email. Some of them have been working in the same department for over 10 years, 4 of them are at higher grade than me and only one contributes towards developing the department, but they are not interested in climbing up the ladder. They enjoy doing the bare minimum and have received multiple warnings regarding their low performance.
I do some high level tasks assigned to the head of department such as writing reports to government agencies & representing my department with private companies, and consultants. I also attend interdepartmental meetings representing the department and do regular non management tasks too.
Since i do add more value to the department & company when compared with my non management colleagues, how/when should i ask for a raise since I’m handling more tasks than usual non management staff? My company have a policy of promoting employees from one grade to another every 4 years of work, I need to get promoted twice before I reach management level grade. I find this policy counterintuitive in my opinion since i could slack off 4 years and get the same grade promotion as working hard for 4 years.
Our department is transition phase before i joined, and it is still in transition. we had two manager and head of department that quit. The department was recently shifted from one director to another (1 week ago) due to problems between the old director and the head of department. The head of department did indicate there will be room for improvements under the new director, they might bring more supervisors to the department from other departments to help change the work culture & environment, i might share the office im at with someone new. Im afraid if they bring in someone from outside I will go back to doing routine non management tasks and the doors will be closed on me with no room for promotion or handling any management work making me of less value to the department.
Sorry for the long paragraphs, but i feel like I’m in the crossroads and need advice before its too late to take any actions.
Should I approach my head of department and ask him for reassessing my job title from assistant to assistant head of department(without bumping up my grade), ask for a raise, or be passive about the whole thing and take no actions?